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Clips from The Simpsons - Day of the Jackanapes (S12E12)

"- All right, Moe Szyslak. - Yes, Virgil."
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"- I can honestly say I do. - All right then! For half a million dollars..."
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"which of the following is not a subatomic particle?"
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"Oh, boy. All right, let's see here."
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"Uh, well, I was born in Indiana."
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"- Yeah-huh. - Ohh. You are... correct!"
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"- Fad or not, it's here to stay. - And it's killing your show in the ratings."
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"- Without alienating anyone. - Oy!"
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"These ferkachted network notes. Can you believe this?"
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"And edgy-cute."
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"Did that exit work for you?"
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"- I'd like to see it without the scream. - I was just thinking that."
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"A restaurant!"
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"Ah, nothing like a meal in a fine restaurant."
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"But now these jerks have sucked all the fun out."
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"For "pee," could you substitute "whiz"?"
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"I don't know. That could upset the Cheez Whiz people."
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"Quitting show biz."
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"Get off, damn you!"
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"I can't believe Krusty's retiring."
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"Well, I think it's good for a show to go off the air before it becomes stale and repetitive."
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"Krusty the Clown's retirement has provoked an outpouring of anguish..."
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"What's the mood there, Chief Clancy Wiggum?"
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"These kids are getting a little out of hand, Kent."
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"- That was eight years ago. - Is it Pittsburgh?"
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"I spoke to Krusty about his legacy of laughter."
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"Oh, can it, you tiresome tot-sitter."
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"Ever watch the old episodes?"
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"I taped over all my old episodes."
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"Frankly, Kent, those episodes were no big loss."
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"The show didn't really get funny until we fired Sideshow Bob and hired whozits."
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"and that's just not true."
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"Motion granted. Release the prisoner."
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"Hey, no fair. You got long legs. I got these little bitty hooves."
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"Thank you, Raphael. Now this is a ticklish question, but-"
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"Oh, thank you, kind innkeeper."
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"Hiya, neighbor!"
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"If you must know, it's an exquisite scheme for revenge."
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"My blushes."
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"Hey. You know, Bob..."
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"your voice would be perfect for the school's morning announcements."
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"Attention. The French Club picnic has been canceled."
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"I mean, my announcing career. That's what's beginning."
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"Hello, Bart."
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"Let's see. " Get job as school announcer. Lure Bart to shed."
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"Secure same to chair with rope." Ah, here we are."
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""Have Bart kill Krusty.""
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"Oh, you will kill Krusty during his final show."
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"You looked."
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"I didn't say anything about command. You're in my power. Say so."
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"I was at the flower shop."
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"Yes! Yes!"
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"- Excuse me. Could you take our picture? - Aye-uh."
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"It do."
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"- Chief, you might want to take a look outside. - That's it!"
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"Oh, it's so great to see a kid using a wooden bat."
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"These days, it's all aluminum this and George W. That."
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"Hey, Chief, look what I got in my Laffy Meal."
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"Oh, yeah!"
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"Thank you."
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"Hmm?"
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"I've lowered my quote to eight million."
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"And now a special treat."
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"Oh, the Bolshoi's doing the Nutcracker in my pants!"
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"Back then you couldn't say "pants" on TV."
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"Hey, Krusty."
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"What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bagel?"
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"That's good plastic explosive."
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"Now we're gonna show you some clips from-"
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"Please, stop already."
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"To this day, Krusty has not given us a dime."
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"Has he, Frances?"
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"And if my banker's watching..."
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"Ah, kettle chips. The perfect side dish..."
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"What a special night."
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"Hmm?"
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"this is your Waterloo."
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"Over the years, I've-"
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"A man of grace and humor."
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"#Well, you went to Apu's and you framed me #"
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"Oh, no! My boy bomb!"
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"Hmm?"
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"Krusty, I'm so sorry about the attempted murder."
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"my ratings go through the roof, you nut!"
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"It makes me sad that you're getting the death penalty."
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"Okay, where do you wanna do this thing?"
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"Mukluk."
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"#The Simpsons #"
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"Oh, Doctor, I'm crazy!"
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"Welcome back to America's favorite game show-"
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"And here's that question-asking guy, Virgil Sinclair!"
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"And you stalled for 20 minutes."
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"Hey, that's great. But now we must have your answer..."
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"in the next 10 or 15 minutes."
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"Ooh."
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"So that ain't it. And, uh- Hmm."
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"I better call my lifeline."
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"Well, Moe, would you like to stop where you are, or try for one million dollars?"
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"Well, gee, I really do love currency."
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"- You're the boss. - Yes, I am."
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"Aw, this quiz show crap is just a fad."
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"What do you want from me? I do a kids' show."
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"Run wild, shatter the boundaries, slash and burn."
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"All we're saying is be dangerous, but warm."
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"Let's hear it for Madam Mimi and her cheese-seeking poodles!"
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"We'll be back with a sketch set in the craziest place!"
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"Krusty, yeah, quick thought about this restaurant set."
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"- Ooh, the Seinfeld diner. - Are you nuts? I'm on in five seconds!"
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"- 'Cause the great thing about Seinfeld was the- - You're on, Krusty."
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"Ah, here comes the waitress."
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"We're losing male teens. Can you get jiggy with something?"
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"You're giving me notes while I'm on the air? That tears it!"
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"Folks, I've been in show biz for 61 years."
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"I don't need 12 suits telling me which way to pee."
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"- I was just thinking that. - I can't take it anymore!"
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"Folks, don't miss this Friday's show."
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"It'll be my last."
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"You can kill me, but two more will take my place!"
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"A world without Krusty. What would that be like?"
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"- What's on TV? - Nutsy the Clown."
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