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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (S16E16)

"Woo-hoo! But why?"
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"But if I add your shameless shenanigans,"
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"You wanna do my dance after you score?"
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"You damn straight,"
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"and I'll buy any other dances you've got, too."
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""L" is for "loser" Which describes you, sir"
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"Don't try to stop me Just enjoy the view, sir."
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""The view, sir." Then show ass. Got it."
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"The answer may surprise you."
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"I have a new job choreographing end zone dances"
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"for a professional football player."
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"Looks like all you're teaching is obnoxiousness and poor sportsmanship."
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"Don't forget showboating."
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"That's the cornerstone of my "Pyramid of Success.""
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"Grandpa, will you take me fishin'?"
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"Thank you, Jammitin!"
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"Oh, there's nothing but filth on TV."
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"Daddy, if Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve's only children,"
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"Did they make babies with their mother?"
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"Or with each other?"
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"Now stop asking silly questions and go kill your brother!"
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"After you prance across the goal line,"
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"you hurl the other team's mascot to the ground"
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"and drive your cleats into his neck."
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"You're going down, you potato-eatin' pansy!"
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"Homer, are you sure we aren't crossing a line here?"
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"I happen to know that the person inside that leprechaun suit"
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"is a single mother."
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"Deion, this is Timmy Thomas."
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"Mr. Overstweet, could you do an obnoxious end zone dance for me today?"
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"Yello."
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"Homer, this is LeBron James."
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"The fans love my dunks, but they hate my dancing."
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"Lenny, can I move you from Wednesday at noon to Sunday at 6:00?"
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"Homer, you know that's when I play with neighborhood dogs."
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"All right, all right, I'll work it out."
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"Aw, you guys are what it's all about."
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"Reverend, thanks for turning the church into a He-without- cineplex."
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"Boys, I just talked to God."
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"He's vacuuming Heaven to get it ready for when dead people show up,"
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"I shall sacrifice my finest grains and livestock."
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"Now I must bury my son,"
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"Ned, your film was a masterpiece."
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"beyond the world of science."
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"I would pay to see it again and again and again and again,"
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"but not six times."
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"Here's some guy's wallet. - I am that guy!"
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"Smithers, we could make a fortune with these Bible pictures."
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"And I've been looking for a way to launder the money I made"
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"Everyone seemed so happy, but I'm surprised at Ned."
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"And sexy !"
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"King David stole someone else's wife,"
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"Welcome to the Homer Simpson Showboating Academy."
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"Today we're working on poor sportsmanship."
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"Nicely done."
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"You remind me of a young Dorothy Hamill."
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"I didn't know you could talk!"
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"Lisa, could you pass the salad?"
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"And it's James with the steal!"
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"Wait a second. I've read that you speak excellent English."
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"Oh, my."
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"Now, there's no need to actually whip him."
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"We can put the sound in later."
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"No! As your financial backer, I insist upon reality."
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"The people being whipped!"
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"I'm richer than you!"
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"The only just solution is to cut the baby in half."
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"Wait a minute. I killed a baby. I'm a monster!"
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"and I'm going to boycott your financier, Mr. Burns."
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"Oh, really? And what will you use instead of nuclear power?"
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"Solar. - Hydroelectric."
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"Dis-embroider the crew jackets."
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"We can still send them back."
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"Tonight, the Clipper and the Stripper,"
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"a Jones that's Chipper,"
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"But first, professional sports continues its downward march into the gutter."
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"This is either about me or steroids."
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"athletes are now taunting and boasting just to get on our highlight reel."
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"Disgusting... Now, here's our highlight reel!"
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"Art comes from pain. Your pain."
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"Oh, yeah, cheer for Tom. Give all your love to Tom."
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"I'm the worst thing to happen to sports since Fox."
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"Homer Simpson, we work for the Commissioner of Football,"
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"and he wants to see you."
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"I want to see him, too."
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"Maybe he can tell me how to get this off."
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"It soaked through to the other side."
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"Since the players began your rowdy rump-shaking,"
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"Plus, we're making millions in player fines,"
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"which I'm going to use to bankroll a musical about The J. Geils Band!"
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"That's right, J. Geils!"
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"Here's why we called you in:"
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"Fine, do it for free. - Damn it!"
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"Well, I'll still do it."
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"No! - Damn it!"
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"From its humble origins in Super Bowl I..."
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"I now pronounce you PacMan and wife."
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"Oh, every single Super Bowl halftime show has been great"
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"Oh, Homie, don't worry. I'm sure you'll come up with a great idea."
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"I don't know. It's a lot of pressure."
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"We're ready for rehearsal, Mr. Simpson. So, what do we do?"
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"Oh, man, I have no idea what I'm doing."
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"I wonder if other Super Bowl producers waited till 3:00 in the morning"
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"the night before to plan their halftime shows."
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"A church!"
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"Maybe the homeless people sleeping on the floor will have some ideas."
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"but I'm having trouble getting it out there."
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"Are you even listening to me?!"
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"I've got a venue the whole world will be watching,"
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"and nothing to fill it with."
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"Wait a minute. You've got a medium, and I've got a message."
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"Maybe God brought us together for a reason."
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"And so, ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the start of Super Bowl XXXIX!"
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"America's priorities are a joke."
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"Now, here's the kickoff!"
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"Just poke through."
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"And that's the gun."
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"But don't stop watching. In the second half, points count double."
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"Citibank and Moe's Tavern."
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"Uh, hey, you want to play?"
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