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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Girl Talk (S05E05)

"ADULT ADAM: The '80s was a golden age of advertising,"
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"- filled with famous faces. - Oh, hi, Vern."
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"They talked fast and pitched to us every day."
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"Hello. I'm Orville Redenbacher."
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"- Mikey liked it! - He liked it!"
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"And the "Where's the Beef?" lady"
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"needed to know exactly where the beef was."
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"Hey, where's the beef?"
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"And there were local pitchmen, like Crazy Eddie."
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"It's Crazy Eddie's greatest Fourth of July sale ever!"
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"Even Jenkintown had its own commercial celebrity..."
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"my dad's competition, the Formica King."
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"Are you looking for a bed,"
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"a table, a wall unit?!"
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"ADULT ADAM: He was wild, kooky,"
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"and the bane of my dad's existence."
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"Come see me, Formica Mike, the Formica King!"
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"We got deep discounts on all your favorite"
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"brightly-colored furniture in space-age laminates!"
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"And we're slaying the competition!"
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"♪ Furniture deals on everything ♪"
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"♪ Come on down to the Formica King ♪"
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"Ask for me! Mike! Or Luis."
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"He works here, too!"
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"ANNOUNCER: The Formica King's an authorized Formica laminate dealer."
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"♪ Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, do... ♪"
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"Are you humming the jingle of my sworn enemy?"
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"No. Totally unrelated."
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"♪ Formica King ♪"
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"All right, that's it. I'm sleeping on the couch."
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"ADULT ADAM: My dad hated the Formica King"
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"and couldn't get away from him."
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"Look! The Formica King has a regal summer sale!"
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"Big kingdom furniture for lil' kingdom prices."
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"- [GROANS] - Murray, you gotta hit this schmuck back"
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"before he drives us out of business."
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"Dammit, I know!"
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"My dad had to make his own commercial,"
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"and there was only one geek who could save him."
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"I never thought I'd say this, but bring me Adam."
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"I've been waiting for this moment my entire life."
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"I know your taste. It'll be quick and simple."
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"Also, you'll be sitting."
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"Oh, I like this idea."
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"Or... and I'm just talking out loud here..."
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"what if instead of simple, we made it incredibly complicated?"
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"- Ooh, I'm listening. - No, no."
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"Do not encourage him."
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"Yep, my dad's brother and unreliable employee Marvin."
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"Let the selling begin!"
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"He was full of bad ideas,"
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"and my dad hated all of them."
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"We have an opportunity here to make the biggest,"
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"most expensive furniture commercial ever, okay?"
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"I'm talking about explosions, car chases, furniture girls."
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"There's no such thing as furniture girls."
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"Uncle Marvin's right. We should probably go big."
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"- So big! - And loud!"
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"- And sexy! - Go away!"
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"Ooh! We can set it in space!"
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"- ♪ Spaaaace ♪ - No space!"
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"And animals. We need animals."
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"The deadlier the better."
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"Yes, people respond to fear."
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"Not furniture buyers."
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"And we need epic stunts."
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"How many sleeper sofas can you jump in a monster truck?"
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"Well, if we load it up with rocket fuel, an infinite amount!"
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"When you're done, we'll do it my way."
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"Knock yourselves out."
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"[GASPS] That's it."
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"We wrap the whole thing up"
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"with a Rocky Balboa/ Apollo Creed"
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"- final freeze frame. - Let's rehearse it."
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"[IMITATING SYLVESTER STALLONE] Well, I don't usually rehearse, but okay."
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"[SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]"
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"♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪"
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"♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪"
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"♪ I don't know the future ♪"
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"♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪"
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"It was November 1, 1980-something,"
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"and my brother was about to bust some moves."
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"- Yo, yo! - Look at this."
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"The KFC has come to hang out under the bleachers."
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"- No, it's the JTP. - TOGETHER: JTP!"
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"And it's your lucky day, 'cause Big Tasty"
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"cordially invites you to have dinner with him"
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"at Jenkintown's most exclusive, romantic eatery."
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"Tony Roma's! Place for ribs!"
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"All right, bleacher creatures."
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"Stop being all sketchy and get to class."
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"Nice try, dude."
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"Mr. Glascott,"
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"I was about to go out with Jamie Weisman for ribs."
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"Everyone knows that's the most romantic part of the pig."
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"Except for the heart."
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"Actually, I saved you."
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"Seriously, man, you were going down in flames."
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"Trust me, I know."
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"You do know."
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"Hey, it's different when I say it."
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"Gah! That's the third girl this week who shot me down."
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"Don't these smoking hot scrubs"
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"know I dated Lainey for three years?"
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"Don't ask me, dude."
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"I haven't talked to a girl since my piano teacher"
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"told me to stop calling her."
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"It's like the only people who see me naked now are you guys."
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"I used to have great luck with women,"
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"but it all dried up when I started hanging out with you dudes."
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"Coincidence, Matthew."
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"Man, I do not miss being single."
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"I'm just so happy I have Erica, ya know?"
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"- You're so lame, Geoff. - We don't have to hear it."
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"Wait, that's it!"
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"It's been in this house the whole time!"
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"Erica's bedroom."
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"There has to be some answers in here."
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"Okay, guys, this is, like,"
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"a huge invasion of Erica's privacy."
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