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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Witches (S02E02)

"(car horn honking)"
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"GUILLERMO: Let go of the wheel! Your driving's gonna kill us!"
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"(screams)"
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"NADJA: Stop the machine, make it stop."
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"Yes. They are near."
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"The smell of beef and sulfur is overwhelming."
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"-COLIN: That's just Brooklyn. -Yes. It's over there."
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"Do you want me to go in for a quick snoop and poop?"
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"No. You cannot go. They will sense you."
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"No, we need a mortal. A human. A common schlub."
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"A nobody. Someone who's personality is like a eunuch's."
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"-You know? -Okay, I'm gonna go. I'll go. All right? I'll go."
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"-Oh, really, Guillermo, I would never have... -Right, I'll do it."
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"-No. I'll go. -Thank you, Guillermo. -I just..."
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"-GUILLERMO: Don't worry. -(car door closes)"
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"I have to do everything myself."
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"You guys stay back, okay? Just stay back here."
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"(clears throat)"
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"Anything I can help you find?"
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"No. No, I'm just..."
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"taking a look at, um..."
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"Is this... is this the only room,"
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"or is there another room with other stuff, or...?"
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"You're looking for something specific?"
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"Any allergies?"
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"No. I mean, my nose is stuffy, but I don't know"
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"if it's because of a food allergy"
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"-or a seasonal allergy, or... -Mm-hmm."
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"Oh, no, you don't have to do that. No, thank you."
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"No. No. I'm not good at..."
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"-Mmm... -Oh, that feels good."
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"NADJA: Oh, I think she's trying to squeeze Gizmo's eyeballs out."
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"The consensus on Instagram is that we underestimate"
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"the importance of self-care."
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"-(goat bleating) -Hang on."
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"Oh, shit."
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"-Oh! -Fuck."
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"Do you have anything for rosacea?"
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"I think I have a little flare-up on my chin."
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"Come with me. Bring the cameras."
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"-There's no... -This way."
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"Fire."
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"I say, ladies, perhaps we could come"
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"to some kind of arrangement?"
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"I mean, you don't need the two of us, surely. No?"
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"Psst, guys."
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"A little help?"
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"-Intruders! Intruders! -NANDOR: Sorry, guys."
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"LILITH: Fret not, my sisters."
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"Let 'em in."
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"Let the ceremony be documented"
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"for the ages."
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"(grunts)"
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"(quietly): Idiot."
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"This is kind of exciting."
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"Little dark in here, huh?"
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"You will remain here with the others"
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"until the ceremony is complete."
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"What cer...? Others, what?"
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"(Nadja and Colin yelling)"
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"(gasps)"
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"GUILLERMO: Wait!"
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"NADJA: Guillermo, get the lights."
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"-GUILLERMO: I'm looking for it. -NADJA: It's over there."
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"-GUILLERMO: Over where? -NADJA: Now he's getting breaks all the time,"
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"so he doesn't want to turn the lights on!"
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"GUILLERMO: I'm looking..."
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"-NADJA: This talking back! -I'm looking for it!"
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"COLIN: Turn on the damn light!"
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"-GUILLERMO: Fuck you guys. -(Nadja gasps)"
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"Aha!"
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"Oh, what is this place?"
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"COLIN: Uh, some sort of storage room, perhaps."
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"(loud screaming)"
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"Not a storage room."
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"Places, everyone."
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"(door closes)"
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"Everything is secure?"
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"Yes."
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"NANDOR: Witches!"
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"Hear me now and take note."
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"Release us, and you will be shown mercy."
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"But... any further hesitation will ensure"
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"your complete and utter destruction!"
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"(witches laughing)"
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"-That'll do. -Well done, Nandor."
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"You've certainly frightened them."
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"-(gasps softly) -Now let us begin."
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"Start the music."
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"* I see you, little mama *"
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"-* Doin' your thang * -No."
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"* But you would look much better underneath my w... *"
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"Wrong playlist."
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"That's for the hip-hop kundalini class we offer"
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"Tuesday, Thursday evenings."
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"-Sorry. -It's all right, Tessa."
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"Start the music."
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"(intense tribal music playing)"
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"-(Nandor groans) -LASZLO: What the hell are those?"
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"NANDOR: I don't know..."
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"I think this is the end."
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"Don't breathe it in. It's some kind of..."
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"-Hey... -LASZLO: Hello."
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"I must say, I-I'm not sure"
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"I fully disapprove of this abduction."
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"-NANDOR: Relaxing, really. -Some might say erotic."
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"I don't know about y-you, old chap, but"
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"-I have a raging hard-on. -Yes."
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"COLIN: These witches are sly, but so am I."
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"I think I have 'em figured out."
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"Door on the floor... we ain't here no more."
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"-(howling wind) -Aah! Help!"
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"-(shouts) -(pants)"
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"That does that thing."
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"(piano music playing)"
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"Oh, hello. We were wondering"
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"-if, um... -(cracking)"
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"-(music playing backwards) -(woman wheezing)"
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"Ma'am."
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"-This way. -Ah."
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