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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Witches (S02E02)

"All right, ladies."
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"(crowd cheering)"
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"Together..."
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"we can take our country back!"
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"NANDOR: House meeting."
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"House meeting, everyone. Hello?"
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"Ah, Nadja. Uh, the house meeting"
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"was supposed to start 15 minutes ago. Where's Laszlo?"
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"He is tending to his fruit trees."
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"Okay, great. So maybe you want to fetch him,"
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"and we can begin the house meeting."
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"No, I cannot go and "fetch" him. That is a job for Guillermo."
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"-Guillermo is on a break at the moment. -Sorry, a what?"
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"NANDOR: From now on, Guillermo will receive"
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"one day off per week."
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"Plus a 15-minute break every four hours."
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"This is all my idea, of course,"
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"-not Guillermo's idea. -NADJA: Guillermo,"
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"I give you permission to take a break from your breaking."
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"NANDOR: Guillermo, you will do no such thing. You will not break..."
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"GUILLERMO: Starting to think my whole life is a big pile"
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"of bullshit. (chuckles)"
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"Sometimes this job seems like"
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"a really childish career choice."
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"Like, what am I doing here?"
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"I don't know. Maybe it's time to grow up"
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"and get a real job with real people."
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"Maybe I could start a business?"
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"I was using these Tide pens the other day"
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"to take off blood off my clothes."
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"And I thought, I don't have to do this. I..."
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"I dumped all of this..."
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"into this to make this."
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"Isn't that cool?"
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"It's a Heavy Duty Blood Remover."
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"Been watching a lot of Shark Tank lately."
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"MAN: The sky will be the limit. What do you say?"
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"-Can we make a deal today? -NANDOR: I am not fetching anyone!"
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"When I was a child, I loved juicy red apples."
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"(sniffs) Now they just smell like shit and decay."
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"So now what I basically do is cut them off the tree"
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"and throw them on the floor."
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"(chuckles)"
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"MALE VOICE: Laszlo."
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"Did you hear that?"
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"Laszlo Cravensworth."
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"Who calls the Cravensworth?"
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"You have a lot of nerve disturbing me,"
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"in my garden, pruning."
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"It would be best for everybody if you show yourself now."
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"(wind whistling, bell ringing)"
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"A goat."
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"(goat bleats)"
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"Your shepherd will be wondering where the hell you are."
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"NANDOR: Laszlo! House meeting time."
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"Yeah, I'll be there momentarily."
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"-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -(bleats)"
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"What kind of goat sorcery is this?"
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"The ceremony awaits you."
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"Help! Aah!"
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"NANDOR: Laszlo, the house meeting!"
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"-(bleating) -Laszlo!"
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"(Laszlo crying out)"
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"("You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing)"
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"* Don't sing if you want to live long *"
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"* They have no use for your song *"
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"* You're dead, you're dead, you're dead *"
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"* You're dead and out of this world *"
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"* Now your hope and compassion is gone *"
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"* You sold out your dream to the world *"
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"* Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead *"
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"* You're dead and out of this world. *"
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"I can feel something terrible has happened."
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"It's witches. They have taken him!"
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"-I can feel it on the inside of my bones. -Ah..."
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"I'm not saying that Nadja is hysterical, but"
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"she blames everything on witches."
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"(gasps) Witches are near."
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"NANDOR: Like every little"
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"fucking thing."
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"NADJA: The witches"
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"have been toying with our rugs again. Please get some"
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"witch-proof carpet tape and tape that rug down."
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"Witches! Aah!"
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"-(sighs) -See? (sniffs)"
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"Witch dust. Ugh!"
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"-Or dirt. -It's not... not witch dust."
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"NADJA: Oh, it stinks."
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"Nobody breathe it in. It's how they seize control of your mind."
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"(spits) We're going to have to burn the garden."
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"-We have to do something! -I think perhaps the best place"
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"to start is to look around here."
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"Let's do that. Excuse me."
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"Guillermo, you will join us, too."
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"Nah, that's not in my job description."
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"-(gasps) -NANDOR: Laszlo? Did you fall down a hole again?"
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"GOAT: Nandor."
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"-Did somebody call my name? -No, no, shit, Nandor, don't!"
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"Hey, there's a goat over here."
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"-Hello, Mr. Goat. -Nandor, it's... No, don't!"
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"You're very handsome, aren't you? Have we met before?"
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"The ceremony awaits."
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"-Hey. Wait. Hey! Whoa! -(witch cackling)"
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"NADJA: Shit, shit, shit."
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"-Okay. I'll get the keys. -Yes, you bloody will."
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"(chuckles) I'll be damned. Witches."
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"NADJA: Colin, hurry!"
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"(witches cackling)"
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"(groans) Can you not make this carriage move faster?"
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"You're moving slower than when my yaya tried"
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"to ride a snail to the next village."
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"If you wanted to go faster, why didn't you fly?"
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"Ooh, it's too dangerous."
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"Look how quickly and disgustingly they move."
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"They're really hauling ass."
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"Oh, Gizmo, they're getting ready to land. Ooh!"
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"-Ooh. -Oh."
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"Well, luckily, that was just Nandor."
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"-Oh! They're moving toward the right! -Hey! Take the next exit!"
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"-No! -(tires screeching)"
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