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Clips from Scrubs - Our New Girl-Bro (S09E09)

"I pounded down 11 of them already, gristle and all, and I'm a vegetarian,"
Scrubs
"- but the baby, carnivore. - Hey, Turk."
Scrubs
"(SNIFFS) Mmm."
Scrubs
"It's like Christmas morning."
Scrubs
"You want to help me get her back? This is what we do."
Scrubs
"We fill her car up with pork chops, and when she opens the door,"
Scrubs
"the pork chops will slide all over the place,"
Scrubs
"and she'll have to dig a little seat."
Scrubs
"I'm talking about a major inconvenience."
Scrubs
"We need to get you a new work buddy, like, today."
Scrubs
"Until then, you gotta just chillax, my brother."
Scrubs
"Okay, I cannot pull off "my brother," can I?"
Scrubs
"- No. - At least I nailed "chillax.""
Scrubs
"No, you didn't."
Scrubs
"Dr. Reid, you're so inspiring."
Scrubs
"Oh, stop. Go on."
Scrubs
"You're totally the kind of doctor I want to be when I get super-old."
Scrubs
"Compliment took a bit of a left turn there."
Scrubs
"I just don't think you realize how awesome it is for me"
Scrubs
"to see a woman actually doing it, you know?"
Scrubs
"You're a great doctor and you've got your life together."
Scrubs
"You're handling both. Me, I've got nine texts this minute."
Scrubs
"My boyfriend needs me, my dad wants his daily phone call,"
Scrubs
"my sister Maureen is freaking out about her bachelorette party."
Scrubs
"She has to have sex with her fiance for the first time"
Scrubs
"in case the stripper got her pregnant. Long story."
Scrubs
"Oh, sure, sure."
Scrubs
"Plus, with all the studying and the schoolwork..."
Scrubs
"Lucy, you can do it. You just need to learn how to prioritize."
Scrubs
"Uh-oh. I've been so emotional lately,"
Scrubs
"Quick, say something to remind me how crazy you are."
Scrubs
"Um..."
Scrubs
"I ran out of underwear today, so I wore my bathing suit."
Scrubs
"Huh. Thanks. All better."
Scrubs
"Hey, so you and me got off on the wrong foot."
Scrubs
"Nobody's fault."
Scrubs
"I mean, you put two alpha dogs in a cage"
Scrubs
"and there's bound to be some barking, right?"
Scrubs
"(BARKING)"
Scrubs
"- Yes, yes. We are exactly alike, indeed. - See, you get it."
Scrubs
"- before the newsletter comes out. - Spoiler alert. You're last."
Scrubs
"Hey, Dr. Cox, please."
Scrubs
"If my dad reads I'm at the bottom, he might lose it and cut me off."
Scrubs
"Okay, I know I don't act like it sometimes,"
Scrubs
"but I really do want to be a doctor."
Scrubs
"Yeah, you know what it's like to have a miserable judgmental bastard"
Scrubs
"that my entire childhood was an endless parade of lollipops and hugs."
Scrubs
"Of course I do."
Scrubs
"Look, I can't just move you up in the rankings based on nothing."
Scrubs
"So for the next week, if I need something done,"
Scrubs
"- I'll go to you. We'll call it "extra-credit." - Great."
Scrubs
"In fact, go to Bed 12."
Scrubs
"There's a very, very large sick man there"
Scrubs
"who needs an alcohol bath all over his entire body."
Scrubs
"Thank you for the opportunity."
Scrubs
"So, did he buy the whole newsletter-rankings nonsense?"
Scrubs
"- Outstanding. - It is."
Scrubs
"So, basically, I'm looking for a work friend."
Scrubs
"You know, mentally, physically and emotionally."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. Did you just say "physically"?"
Scrubs
"Weird-five. Get there."
Scrubs
"If you were on a desert island, what three CDs would you bring?"
Scrubs
"Motorhead, Metallica, and the original cast recording of Wicked."
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING) And yes, Kristin Chenoweth is a delight."
Scrubs
"- How's the food? - This soup is amazing."
Scrubs
"Shut up, Frank."
Scrubs
"We are lucky enough to dine with an educated physician,"
Scrubs
"and you order soup?"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, Dr. Turk. I'll send him back for a sandwich, something more fitting."
Scrubs
"How you doing, Kate?"
Scrubs
"I'm a little nervous. Is a bronchoscopy gonna hurt?"
Scrubs
"There'll be a little discomfort afterwards,"
Scrubs
"but you'll be under for the procedure,"
Scrubs
"and the whole thing will be over in an hour."
Scrubs
"- And you'll be here when I wake up? - Yeah, of course."
Scrubs
"Isn't she the best?"
Scrubs
"LUCY: I think we're all searching for something."
Scrubs
"Sometimes it's a replacement for the irreplaceable..."
Scrubs
"Look, Gandhi, if you expect me to go all the way,"
Scrubs
"you gotta step up your game a little bit here, pal."
Scrubs
"Maybe take me out to a nice dinner, introduce me to some of your friends."
Scrubs
"Not even a little. And not just because"
Scrubs
"I want nothing to do with Dorian's sloppy seconds."
Scrubs
"Work sucks."
Scrubs
"You, however, have been lucky enough to have worked"
Scrubs
"with your very best friend for eight years."
Scrubs
"That will never, ever happen again."
Scrubs
"LUCY: Other times, it's just a hard-to-reach spot on a fat guy's back."
Scrubs
"(COLE GROANS)"
Scrubs
"- Oh, no. - Dude, a little help."
Scrubs
"- Oh, isn't it terrible? - Awful."
Scrubs
"Hmm."
Scrubs
"So, Miss Simmons is gonna wake up in a while."
Scrubs
"Can I hang out with you while you sit with her?"
Scrubs
"LUCY: Lucky for me, I found what I was looking for."
Scrubs
"Please! I'm going home."
Scrubs
"Wow, and making time for the paper, too. That must be nice."
Scrubs
"- Later, you munch. - Did she just call me a buttmunch?"
Scrubs
"Well, she didn't use the word "butt,""
Scrubs
"though I can't think of any other prominent type of munch,"
Scrubs
"So, I said to the lady,"
Scrubs
""Where can a well-hung marine buy a pair of shoes around here?""
Scrubs
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"- Turkleton, those days are gone. - Dr. Kelso, really?"
Scrubs
"I am indeed."
Scrubs
"I think it will be great to have a black friend"
Scrubs
"to help me out with the sisters. Get my swirl on."
Scrubs
"That's what I'm talking about. Mmm."
Scrubs
"Holy crap. That totally looks like a Korean Helen Hunt."
Scrubs
"No, that's a Japanese Laura Dern."
Scrubs
"No, it's not. I'm gonna get my picture with her."
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well..."
Scrubs
"Well, tell her I said I loved her in Japanese Jurassic Park."
Scrubs
"Hey. You came here with me. Why are you talking to her?"
Scrubs
"- No, I'm still here with you! - What the hell am I doing?"
Scrubs
"I always end up in relationships like this."
Scrubs
"For once, get out with some dignity, Bob."
Scrubs
"Don't ever call me again."
Scrubs
"No, it's okay."
Scrubs
"Hey, crazy swimsuit girl. What are you doing?"
Scrubs
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