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Clips from Scrubs - Our New Girl-Bro (S09E09)

"(DREW SHUSHING)"
Scrubs
"- Hey, Drew. Glad you could make it. - Sorry I'm late."
Scrubs
"You should be sorry, as I'm giving all of you murderers"
Scrubs
"the honor of shadowing me today."
Scrubs
"There is no penalty forthcoming, however, as it is an optional exercise."
Scrubs
"Optional? Hey, man, I gotta cruise."
Scrubs
"Well, what the heck am I supposed to do?"
Scrubs
"How will the hospital get by, for God's sake?"
Scrubs
"Shut it down. Everyone, shut it down. It's over. Stop saving lives."
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING) Man, you crack me up."
Scrubs
"(CO X GROANING)"
Scrubs
"But for reals, I gotta split."
Scrubs
"I met this old cat upstairs who's got really painful glaucoma."
Scrubs
"Translation, crazy-ass government product."
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING) Yo, we'll probably hang out, maybe watch some Benson reruns."
Scrubs
"Know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know what I'm saying."
Scrubs
"Number One, remind me again why I can't kill him."
Scrubs
"All of you remain where you are for a moment."
Scrubs
"I'm going to punch through a wall."
Scrubs
"(CRASHING)"
Scrubs
"Maureen, I e-mailed you your bachelorette pictures this morning."
Scrubs
"I would have put them in the regular mail,"
Scrubs
"Okay, class, I want to thank Miss Bennett"
Scrubs
"for her help on this presentation."
Scrubs
"- Thank you. Thanks. - Not really a stand-and-wave moment."
Scrubs
"What do you mean, they're not the bachelorette photos?"
Scrubs
"All right, people, we'll start with advanced mesothelioma of the lung."
Scrubs
"(STUDENTS LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"- Now, that's not a lung. - Dr. Turk, please..."
Scrubs
"No, Lucy, I think this could be what we call a teachable moment."
Scrubs
"Next up should be pulmonary fibrosis."
Scrubs
"(STUDENTS LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"That ain't pulmonary fibrosis."
Scrubs
"That's a woman nibbling on some panties."
Scrubs
"Looks like the night took a dark turn, people."
Scrubs
"You can't do stuff like that to strangers, woman. It's not right!"
Scrubs
"- I know. I'm sorry. - He's a human being, Lucy."
Scrubs
"He got nine bucks, okay? I made it rain. Move on."
Scrubs
"(THEME SONG PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"ELLIOT: You all right?"
Scrubs
"It was a rough surgery. I don't think the guy's gonna make it."
Scrubs
"This is when I really miss J.D., you know?"
Scrubs
"At work. He'd see me like this and then try and pick me up,"
Scrubs
"and then I'd point to that doctor over there and I'd say,"
Scrubs
""Who does that look like to you?" And he'd say..."
Scrubs
"Who?"
Scrubs
"A Japanese Laura Dern. How do you not see that?"
Scrubs
"I can't believe you get to see J.D. Naked."
Scrubs
"- That was weird. - It's okay. That's okay, Turk."
Scrubs
"I can do this with you."
Scrubs
"See that nurse over there? She looks like a Mexican Carrie Scott."
Scrubs
"- Who? - Childhood friend."
Scrubs
"Yeah, she joined a cult and disappeared when she was 16."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God, that could actually be her if she got really tan."
Scrubs
"Carrie? Carrie Scott?"
Scrubs
"Nope, not her. Police are right. She's probably dead."
Scrubs
"to get my mind off it."
Scrubs
"- Dr. Cox, may I ask you a question? - Do you see that shadow over there?"
Scrubs
"Do you see how it's just quietly standing against the wall"
Scrubs
"not asking inane questions"
Scrubs
"That's you. A dumb, quiet shadow."
Scrubs
"- Act like it. - You know why you should ignore him?"
Scrubs
"- I can explain that. I hate someone. - Miss Simmons' platelets are low,"
Scrubs
"so I don't really think heparin's a good idea."
Scrubs
"LUCY: I'd never met Dr. Reid, but she seemed incredible."
Scrubs
"- Fair enough. She's yours. - Thank you."
Scrubs
"You're gonna be just fine, Kate. We'll get the blood work back"
Scrubs
"and then run a simple test called a bronchoscopy."
Scrubs
"LUCY: She was a loving wife."
Scrubs
"J.D., what's wrong? Yes, sweetie. Turk misses you, too."
Scrubs
"His green ones."
Scrubs
"LUCY: And she did it all while being pregnant."
Scrubs
"Can you hand me that bedpan? Thank you."
Scrubs
"(VOMITS)"
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah. Much better. Take that."
Scrubs
"Who are you? And why are you following me around and staring at me?"
Scrubs
"I'm Lucy. I'm a med student."
Scrubs
"LUCY: Be cool, Lucy. Be cool."
Scrubs
"And I just have to say, you have the spirit of a noble warrior,"
Scrubs
"which is not to say that you're not incredibly feminine,"
Scrubs
"because clearly you are."
Scrubs
"I mean, you're, like, stupid fricking pregnant,"
Scrubs
"but also, so skinny."
Scrubs
"I mean, come on, you're like a snake that ate a tiny horse."
Scrubs
"My point is, I'd like to get to know you better."
Scrubs
"- Oh, so, you're crazy. - Oh, yeah."
Scrubs
"Oh, that's cool. I'm Dr. Elliot Reid. See you later."
Scrubs
"Who's got food? Mama needs a refill. I'm dying here."
Scrubs
"All right, class, we're looking for evidence of disease or abnormality."
Scrubs
"Hey, Dr. T, I heard one time they opened up a dude's stomach"
Scrubs
"and there was a finger inside of it."
Scrubs
"I mean, think about it. You're in a lab, you're a little buzzed, everything's cool,"
Scrubs
"then all of a sudden your dead guy's flipping you the bird."
Scrubs
"With another dude's finger! I mean, what?"
Scrubs
"Denise, could you please handle this? I've had a really bad day."
Scrubs
"I'd love to."
Scrubs
"So, you and me, we're gonna have a stupid jar."
Scrubs
"Every time you say something stupid, we're gonna put a nickel in that jar,"
Scrubs
"we're gonna take it and beat you with it, okay?"
Scrubs
"More scary than fun. Look, Cole, you gotta dial it down a bit."
Scrubs
"The school newspaper's coming out next week"
Scrubs
"and they're publishing class rankings."
Scrubs
"I thought you were already number one."
Scrubs
"That's just with Dr. Cox."
Scrubs
"These are the real rankings, and everything counts."
Scrubs
"Grades, participation, grunt work. Everyone sees it."
Scrubs
"- Really? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"Huh."
Scrubs
"Hey, it's all good. I don't mind if people know my rank, okay?"
Scrubs
"When you blast it as hard as I do, you want people to notice."
Scrubs
"- How much you think I bench? - I don't know, like..."
Scrubs
"I don't bench. I do high-intensity reps. I'm toned as balls."
Scrubs
"What's with the lame writing on your ass? Is that, like, a surgeon thing?"
Scrubs
"We made special pants. His said "PORK" on the back."
Scrubs
"That's actually why he had that little sexual-harassment thingy."
Scrubs
"There's only one left, do you mind?"
Scrubs
"No, that's all you. I don't even like pork chops."
Scrubs
"- Hey, look, there's J.D. - Where?"
Scrubs
"- Where? Did he wear his pants? - Sucker. I lied. I love them."
Scrubs
"You're a pork-chop Keyser Soze."
Scrubs
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