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Clips from The Cleveland Show - You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown (S01E01)

"Man, I'm gonna keep the contents of the will."
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"My happy mustache face This is The Cleveland Show"
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"Now, Cleveland, I know your father and I have had our problems..."
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"They're dangerous, passionate, unpredictable."
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"So tomorrow's your wedding night, and you know what that means."
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"What? You did?"
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"...and almighty Thor, god of thunder, I pronounce you husband and wife."
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"Now can I have my own show, Peter?"
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"I'm sorry, but the will stipulates..."
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"...that you are to have no knowledge of its details."
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"Your ex-wife got everything in the divorce and gave it all to your dimwitted..."
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"Right back in my hometown With my new family"
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"Okay."
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"Showtime."
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"The wedding was supposed to be hours ago."
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"Oh, no."
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"...do hereby leave my entire estate to my son..."
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"And good morrow to you, Father."
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"I'm looking for your marbles, because apparently you've lost them."
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"That's all in the past, tubby. I've changed."
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"9/11 was a decade ago."
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"Just because you've put on weight doesn't make you Oprah."
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"It's like recycling..."
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"...he does something nice for you, like shave your name in the side of his head."
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"All right, then. I'm gonna go practice my strut down the aisle. Check this."
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"Yes, I do, Cleveland. And I'm very happy for you."
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"Get up Get on up"
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"Get up Get on up"
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"Okay, enough of this bull crap."
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"So you're just gonna forget about the Waffle House waitresses..."
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"See? Beanbag Chair gets it."
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"His best man. Get it? Ha, ha."
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"I'm gonna find him and give him a piece of my mind."
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"You left Mom at the altar and I'm gonna make you regret it."
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"Yeah. Yeah, that's who we are."
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"I know."
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"Good call, old man."
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"Mom, what are you doing in town?"
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"- I said screenplay... - Class dismissed."
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"Besides, I don't wanna die alone."
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"You know, Cookie, I know we've had our differences..."
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"So the only thing left for you to do is ask Cleveland to be your best man."
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"Yeah."
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"You might just be the blackest fella I ever met."
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"...about the bachelor party. Mm."
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"And then you'd be the one getting hurt."
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"Do you remember The 21st night of September"
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"...or possibly brilliant son. - Dang."
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"Apparently, to pay for it, Mr. Griffin had to get a series of new jobs."
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"Daddy, if this money's gonna come between us, I'll give it all back."
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"I wanted to come by and thank Junior in person for the beautiful gift he sent me."
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"Cleveland, your father and I are moving back into our old house..."
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"How romantic."
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"Not another word."
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"But I'm okay now."
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"...but she just won't give me a chance."
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"...who's probably just a struggling college student..."
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"Ow, ow, ow!"
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"I appreciate you asking..."
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"It comes with a safari vest and a contrived sense of adventure."
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"I did not."
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"And one guy."
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"- Damn it. I said good night. I heard you the first time."
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"I wish I could get a little respect from your mother."
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"I'll be honest. It's hurtful, Cleveland."
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"Then let's dance, chubby."
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"...I'm gonna make you my wife."
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"- Destroy the head and remove the brain. - Mm-hm."
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"Now, you could contest the will and sue Junior for the money."
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"Cleveland only has a pre-paid debit card from Magic Johnson's bank."
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"Doing well too."
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"Ha, ha. I'm just joshing. I know you don't."
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"- Grandma. - There's my little Chamillionaire."
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"...right here in Stoolbend."
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"Because your mama and I are getting re-married."
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"Excuse me."
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"I don't know why she'd still wanna be with him."
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"Mm. Now, there's a crease."
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"Great seeing you, sis."
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"We've been having booty calls for years. So I finally said:"
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"I love your father, Cleveland..."
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"...but I guess he just doesn't feel the same way about me."
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"Well, she's been gone for three months."
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"...of Quahog, Rhode Island. - What?"
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"This is gonna be the best wedding ever."
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"Where you been hiding this one at? He's hilarious."
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"That Mickey Rourke ice sculpture can't take much more of this heat."
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"- You think you're ready? - Damn right."
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"...but I've been asked to play a more important role in this wedding."
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"Not as hilarious as it would have been two or three years ago..."
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"Oh, Cookie, it's you."
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"- What are you guys doing here? - We have some very exciting news."
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"Get used to this face, C-cup, because you gonna see it all the damn time."
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"Okay, that was one of the bad brainstorms."
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"I've done everything I can to get her to like me..."
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"I'm so sick of this."
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"And you shall be my husband."
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"Ba-de-ya Say do you remember"
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"But you remember what to do if she does come back, right?"
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"Cleveland, I know how difficult this must be for you."
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"Hey, Donald Plump, is my barbershop chair here yet?"
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"...but those days are behind us."
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"...and the JetBlue stewardesses and Greta Van Susteren?"
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"Why? Good night, Cleveland."
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"He never deserved you. He's a son of a bitch."
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"Oh, I hate that. Stop it. Stop it. Fine."
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"If you don't care to be on time for our wedding..."
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"But a part of me wishes Mom would come back..."
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"...and she'd need to feast on the living to survive."
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"- Hey, hey, hey. - Let me see that."
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"And so I found a place Where everyone will know"
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"What are you giving her money for?"
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"Your kid's rich and you're still a broke-ass little chump."
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"What the hell do you know about romance, Clarissa?"
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"I bet you can't predict what I'm gonna try tonight."
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"Ha! Women and their problems."
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"And there's something very important he wants to say to you."
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"Ba-de-ya Dancin' in September"
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"Well, well, well, look at you."
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"And, well, I know you're my son, but my word..."
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