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Clips from The Cleveland Show - You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown (S01E01)

"Oh, Donna, I'm so excited."
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"...so I could say a proper goodbye."
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"...that if you give a penny to your father..."
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"There's old friends and new friends And even a bear"
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"Yeah. This must be what it feels like to be the father of that kid..."
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"I mean, what a nad punch."
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"Hello, dear."
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"I'm kind of busy right now."
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"I don't know how your mother ended up with such an attractive daughter."
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"Oh, Miss Cookie, I would love to."
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"Just talking to black Stewie here. How about being our ring boy on Saturday?"
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"And after all, he is your only son."
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"I destroyed your mama on a train track."
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"So, getting married, huh? That's neat."
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"- Yeah. Whoo! - Yeah, that's right."
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"Hey, Dad, what do you say we take a break from borderline cheating..."
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"With Robert, disrespecting some poor girl..."
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"Yeah, the father-son relationship is tricky."
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"What? But I'm your best man."
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"If it's any consolation, you're the best man I know."
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"Stupid, dumb wedding."
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"You're right, Cleveland. I am afraid."
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"Aw, hell, no. She's gonna be riding on the Freight Train."
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"I'm gonna tear your mama up."
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"But I don't need this big fancy wedding."
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"Stay on the scene Get on up"
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"My man Freight Train"
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"That's what I'm talking about"
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"You may kiss the bride."
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"They made it through the whole season."
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"Love was changing the minds Of pretenders"
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"In the law profession, we call that a dick move."
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"One day my prince will come."
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"Through good times and bad times It's true love we share"
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"...on Two and a Half Men."
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"- Thanks, Gus. - You got it, kid."
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"Hmm. These times."
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"Well, I'm not allowed to tell you. But suffice it to say, it was substantial."
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"...but there were still some solid laughs there."
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"Just when you yell at him for punching a cop's horse..."
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"You can try to make me some coffee that doesn't taste like a fart in the face."
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"- Yes, I do. - What does it mean?"
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"And what have you boys been up to?"
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"Oh, yeah. A little something like that right there."
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"Freight Train. Cool name. How'd you get it?"
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"Yeah, well, you know, usually at a wedding, there's a best man..."
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"I'm crying because I peed my pants."
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"Call Mom. She worries."
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"Dad, this is Donna's ex-husband, Robert."
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"See, Cleveland? That's how you shake a man's hand."
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"Say we pick one of these ladies..."
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"- I'm out. - See you tomorrow. One o'clock."
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"You invited Robert to the wedding?"
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"Your dad asked me to be his best man."
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"- Tim, uh... - No. No, it's okay. No, it's okay."
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"Cleveland, come here, buddy."
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"A bunch of people here think I'm a dentist."
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"Well, he's not here either. They'd better show up soon."
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"That's not an ice sculpture."
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"There's too many painful memories here."
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"Your mama's a good woman."
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"We're gonna leave just because the groom don't show up."
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"Get up Get on up"
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"You're gonna get down"
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"Mr. And Mrs. Brown, going to town"
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"Her baby boy does."
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""I, Loretta Marie Callender Brown, blah, blah, blah...""
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"- Look at these juicy details. - Oh."
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"It's okay, Daddy."
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"It must be especially difficult considering all that money used to be yours."
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"Hmm. Had to pay my cell-phone bill with nickels."
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"How much money did your mother leave you?"
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"Kill you for taking my money."
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"Yes, I had a play produced."
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"Junior, you need my help. No one knows more about weddings than I do."
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"Maybe I'll also order a time machine to take this wedding back to 1998."
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"Look, I'll tell you the same thing I told my P.E. Teacher, Miss Rayborn:"
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"- Now, why would I do that? - Do it for me, Lavar."
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"Okay, who's up for some beer pong?"
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"Speaking of women with problems, I gotta call that strip club..."
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"Hey, doughboy. What are you doing here?"
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"They don't got men dancing here. Ha-ha-ha."
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"...and make her regret coming to work tonight?"
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"I like how you think."
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"Where's your dad?"
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"My dad and I didn't talk for years after I stole Arianna away from him."
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"You're the joke."
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"He did one more than that."
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"Where's Grandpa? The wedding's supposed to start any minute and no one's seen him."
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"Whenever I needed something fixed around the house, he'd be there."
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"...and he wants to grow old with you."
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"I was wondering, how'd you like to be my best man again?"
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"Tonight's the night"
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"To the new Mr. And Mrs. Lavar and Evelyn "Cookie" Brown."
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"- How are you holding up, big man? - Well, I'm okay."
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"Eee."
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"- The door! The door! - Take the money!"
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"My name is Cleveland Brown And I am proud to be"
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"That kid's gotten so big, Jon Cryer's now the half-man."
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"I am very glad she's dead."
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"Beep, beep! Move it or lose it."
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"I think it's great you two are getting re-married."
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"It's my gift to you. I'm doing it. It's done."
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"No, I was wondering if you would make my wedding more beautiful..."
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"Honored."
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"...and since you're my son and all, I was wondering..."
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"Hey, I got two-for-one coupons for the champagne room."
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"Ah, ah, ah, oh."
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"No, Cleveland. I don't think he is."
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"Isn't possible."
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"Both of you."
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"...and no one shooing us away from the free shrimp."
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"I never did anything wrong up till now."
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"Let's just go down to city hall."
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"The hell you will."
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"Like a sex machine Get on up"
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"By the power vested in me by the commonwealth of Virginia..."
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"Quagmire, you're a rapist."
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"I mean, if she came back now, her skin would be all gray and rotten..."
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""He is to have unfettered access to all assets in the amount of...""
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