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Clips from American Dad! - Honey, I'm Homeland (S09E09)

"I was robbed by a homeless."
American Dad!
"Your father was getting mugged"
American Dad!
"and you just sat there, snapping photos?"
American Dad!
"I-I swear, he didn't have a gun."
American Dad!
"Dad, you may be able to use your CIA tech"
American Dad!
"to hack my phone and doctor a photo,"
American Dad!
"But... that was a peace sign."
American Dad!
"Reagan's just at peace shredding waves."
American Dad!
"I'm not crazy."
American Dad!
"I know what I saw."
American Dad!
"Sorry, I'll be out of your hair in a minute."
American Dad!
"Just looking for a flashlight."
American Dad!
"Oh, here it is."
American Dad!
"Shadow puppet practice, commence!"
American Dad!
"What's wrong, little buddy?"
American Dad!
"I'm ruined! All these candles!"
American Dad!
"You can't find anyone to buy them?"
American Dad!
"I don't understand business!"
American Dad!
"Don't give up, Roger."
American Dad!
"bright side."
American Dad!
"Thanks for reminding me how."
American Dad!
"through the eyes of Vilmos Zsigmond,"
American Dad!
"cinematographer of Close Encounters."
American Dad!
"God, there's so much I don't know about you."
American Dad!
"Why?"
American Dad!
"Two friends lit by candlelight."
American Dad!
"what could go right?"
American Dad!
"How 'bout I light a few more?"
American Dad!
"All right, Stan Smith, let's see what you're hiding."
American Dad!
"No, Dad!"
American Dad!
"I can't let you do this. What do you mean?"
American Dad!
"for "Secret Back Roads to National Monuments.""
American Dad!
"Oh, Hayley, Hayley, Hayley."
American Dad!
"to see all of our country's greatest monuments."
American Dad!
"And of course we'll take the secret back roads."
American Dad!
"You always want to enter a park from behind."
American Dad!
"Not many parks will let you, but if you find one that will,"
American Dad!
"they'll pretty much let you do anything."
American Dad!
"Dad, one of the Web sites was"
American Dad!
""How to Blow Up National Monuments.""
American Dad!
""Blow Up." It's street jive."
American Dad!
"baby girl, and Daddy's worried."
American Dad!
"Okay..."
American Dad!
"I-I guess that makes sense."
American Dad!
"Um, just one more question."
American Dad!
"Why is there a crate of missiles tied to your car?"
American Dad!
"Hayley, Hayley, Hayley."
American Dad!
"You just couldn't let it rest, could you?"
American Dad!
"What's going on?"
American Dad!
"You were right, Hayley."
American Dad!
"I'm a warrior now for the liberal left,"
American Dad!
"that the world's right-wing puppet masters"
American Dad!
"will never forget."
American Dad!
"Oh, by the way, these are my friends"
American Dad!
"who kidnapped and brainwashed me."
American Dad!
"This one's a wheelchair guy,"
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"Dad, what are you gonna do?"
American Dad!
"Are you..."
American Dad!
"are you gonna blow up Mount Rushmore?"
American Dad!
"Oh, no. Way cooler."
American Dad!
"Artemis, show her."
American Dad!
"By precisely targeting a barrage of missiles"
American Dad!
"your dad acquired for us, we'll reshape"
American Dad!
"the contemptible fascists of Mount Rushmore"
American Dad!
"into history's greatest leftists."
American Dad!
"Sean Penn, Michael Moore and Captain Planet."
American Dad!
"Why didn't you change Jefferson?"
American Dad!
"Well, he freed the slaves, so..."
American Dad!
"he stays."
American Dad!
"I can't believe this."
American Dad!
"We're going through with this, Hayley."
American Dad!
"No use trying to talk me out of it."
American Dad!
"I'm not going to."
American Dad!
"I think it's awesome."
American Dad!
"to get you to embrace all these years."
American Dad!
"Now we can work together to bring down the..."
American Dad!
"I can't wait to help you guys pull this off,"
American Dad!
"but, um, can I go to the bathroom real quick?"
American Dad!
"I'm going to enjoy a movement of my own."
American Dad!
"- Hello? - Avery, it's Hayley."
American Dad!
"I have to talk to you. I was kidnapped."
American Dad!
"Stop right there. Let me switch to a secure line."
American Dad!
"All right."
American Dad!
"What? N-No, Avery, I-I was kidnapped by terrorists."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, you're so bad at sexy phone calls."
American Dad!
"Come on, come on, come on."
American Dad!
"I don't know where your back ends and my hands begin."
American Dad!
"Look, I've been kidnapped by my dad."
American Dad!
"Now, where were we?"
American Dad!
"Oh... yeah, here."
American Dad!
"Are you up there?"
American Dad!
"What? Wh-What have we been doing?!"
American Dad!
"I-It must have been the candles, right?"
American Dad!
"911, what is your emergency?"
American Dad!
"Finish setting up the launcher while we go get high for this."
American Dad!
"I want to be as high as I was during Life of Pi."
American Dad!
"Dad, don't do this. This isn't you."
American Dad!
"I'm a leftist radical, just like you are."
American Dad!
"But that's not who you are."
American Dad!
"You've always hated my liberal ideas."
American Dad!
"Remember how mad you got when I filled your gas tank with sugar"
American Dad!
"to encourage you to ride my bike to work?"
American Dad!
"The chain kept coming off and I had to ask a weird man for help."
American Dad!
"Yeah. Yeah!"
American Dad!
"well done."
American Dad!
"Okay, but remember how upset you got"
American Dad!
"when my fourth grade teacher asked what you did on Career Day"
American Dad!
"and I said you introduced crack and AIDS to the ghetto?"
American Dad!
"I've told you time and again that AIDS was the FBI."
American Dad!
"But, but it's good to be sensitive"
American Dad!
"to the socioeconomically disadvantaged and their pain."
American Dad!
"Yeah? Well, what about your pain"
American Dad!
"when me and my friends protested on our front lawn"
American Dad!
"for four months?"
American Dad!
"I'd just had that lawn seeded."
American Dad!
"All those hippies urinating..."
American Dad!
"But, but I guess you did raise awareness for..."
American Dad!
"for..."
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"It wasn't even clear what you were protesting!"
American Dad!
"Having sex in private?!"
American Dad!
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