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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Large Hadron Collision (S03E03)

"Bye-bye. Yeah, bye-bye."
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"What are you and Bernadette doing for Valentine's Day?"
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"...and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal."
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"...to attend a conference and see the CERN Super Collider on February 14th?"
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"- Oh, no way, dude! - Oh, my God, this is incredible."
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"- Okay, what's the big surprise? - Just a minute."
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"We've got milk chocolate, Swiss cheese, fondue."
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"We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn."
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"Think it's gonna rain?"
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"Morning, old chum."
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"It's the result of two people respecting and caring for each other."
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"- It's good. - What you're tasting is respect..."
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"...should go to Switzerland to see the CERN Super Collider:"
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"...whose work has brought him to the precipice..."
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"And here, we have a waitress brushing her teeth with her finger."
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"It is a mecca for physicists the world over."
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"This is Bath and Body Works on Colorado Boulevard."
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"Didn't Penny tell you the good news?"
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"Prescription, nonprescription, foreign, domestic, experimental."
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"...so if you're still interested, you're welcome to come."
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"Yeah, I miss you too, sweetie. Ha, ha."
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"Okay, listen, I gotta go, but I'll see you tonight."
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"No, you hang up first."
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"Hello?"
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"Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend..."
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"...but do you have to do lovey-dovey in front of us who don't?"
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"Actually, he might have to."
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"There's an economic concept known as a "positional good"..."
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"...in which an object is only valued because it's not possessed by others."
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"The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch..."
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"...to replace the more colloquial but less precise "neener-neener.""
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"That's not true. My happiness is not dependent on my best friend..."
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"- ...being miserable and alone. - Thank you."
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"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a perk."
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"- Who's miserable and alone? - Me."
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"Oh. I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend."
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"In pre-1976 terms, "neener-neener.""
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"Yeah, I'm pulling out all the stops. There's a 39.95 Lover's Special..."
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"...at P.F. Chang's."
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"Yeah, egg rolls, dumplings, bottomless wok."
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"Yeah, and you get your picture taken on the big marble horse out front."
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"Given that Saint Valentine..."
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"...was a third century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded..."
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"...wouldn't a more appropriate celebration..."
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"...be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?"
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"I understand your point, but given the choice..."
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"...Jews always go with Chinese food."
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"If anyone's interested, I'll be spending this Valentine's Day..."
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"...the same way I spend every Valentine's."
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"Buying rotisserie chicken, taking it home, standing over the sink..."
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"Okay, so to sum up, one giant marble horse..."
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"...one asinine comment, one lonely man and his chicken..."
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"...and let's see. Who's left?"
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"Oh, that's right, my plans."
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"Isn't anyone gonna ask?"
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"- You're gonna have sex with Penny. - That's not what I was gonna tell you."
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"It's okay. I don't mind hearing about your sex life."
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"It's his that bugs me."
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"Guess who the university is sending to Switzerland..."
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"Professor Norton. God knows why."
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"He hasn't published anything of note since he won that Nobel Prize."
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"I heard he threw his back out climbing on his girlfriend."
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"- Weathergirl on Channel Two? - That's the one."
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"In any case, they're asking me to fill in for him."
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"In Switzerland or with the big-boobed weather girl?"
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"Switzerland. And I get to bring a guest."
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"I'm so happy I'm not gonna question their judgment in picking you."
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"I'm just gonna run home and start packing."
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"Wait, why wouldn't you take Penny?"
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"I am taking Penny."
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"Oh."
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"Then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home."
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"- Sheldon, you got a minute? - Of course, my good friend. Come in."
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"I'm sorry, Sheldon."
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"Sorry? I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider..."
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"...since I was 9 years old."
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"I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's with a girl since I was 6."
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"Shame on you."
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"That's no dream for a scientist."
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"This tray contains clues..."
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"...as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day."
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"Oh, wow, okay. Let's see."
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"My lactose-intolerant boyfriend is gonna eat all this..."
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"...then I'm gonna climb on his back and rocket to the moon?"
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"No."
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"But it does involve air travel."
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"Okay. Um..."
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"Let me slice this Swiss cheese with my Swiss Army knife..."
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"...and then you can wash it down..."
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"...with a cup of Swiss Miss instant cocoa."
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"Okay, I'm starting to think "Swiss" is key here."
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"Uh-huh."
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"My ribee-what-ly?"
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"...and refers to a lantern hand-carved from a root vegetable..."
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"...to celebrate Swiss festivals which you'll not be celebrating..."
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"...because, A, these festivals occur in the fall..."
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"...and B, you will not be going to Switzerland."
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"Sheldon, we've been through this. I'm taking Penny."
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"- Oh, not the roommate agreement. - Indeed, the roommate agreement."
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"I call your attention to the Friendship Rider..."
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"...in Appendix C: Future Commitments. Number 37:"
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""In the event one friend is ever invited to visit the Large Hadron Collider..."
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"...now under construction, he shall invite the other friend to accompany him.""
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"Oh, for God's sakes."
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"You actually put that in an agreement?"
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"We put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant..."
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"...or if one of us gets superpowers, or if one of us is bitten by a zombie."
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"Is there anything about if one of you gets a girlfriend?"
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"No, that seemed a little far-fetched."
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"Sheldon, do you really expect to enforce this?"
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"I've lived up to my commitments under the agreement."
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"At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don't care."
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"I no longer stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10 p.m."
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"And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing."
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"- I shouldn't ask, but what is...? - No."
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"I'd be much further along if I'd been allowed to practice."
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"Look, Sheldon, I know it's in the agreement."
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"If you turn into a zombie, I promise I will not kill you."
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"In fact, I'll even let you eat my brains. But I'm taking Penny to Switzerland."
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"Very well."
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