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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Large Hadron Collision (S03E03)

"It's not over, is it?"
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"What do you think?"
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"Got a bit of traffic this morning, huh?"
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"Instead of underpants, I covered my crotch with potato salad. Thoughts?"
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"I know what'll cheer you up. Let's play one of your driving games."
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"All right. This game is called Traitors."
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"I will name three historical figures..."
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"...put them in order of the heinousness of their betrayal:"
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"Benedict Arnold, Judas, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."
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"You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas?"
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"You're right. Judas had the decency to hang himself after what he did."
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"Can't you at least try to understand how much this means to me?"
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"Round two: Leonard Hofstadter, Darth Vader, Rupert Murdoch."
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"Rupert Murdoch?"
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"He owns Fox and they cancelled Firefly."
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"Hint: He and Darth Vader are tied for number two."
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"Sorry, I couldn't hang with you. I had a date with Bernadette."
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"I know. I saw the tweet."
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"- So, what did you end up doing? - Not much. Nuked a burrito..."
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"...prayed to Hindu god Urvashi your bowels'd loosen..."
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"...and your penis would droop like a willow tree."
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"- You seen Sheldon? - No."
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"- Is he still mad about the Super Collider? - Yeah, he thinks I betrayed him."
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"What would you guys do if you were me?"
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"I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland."
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"- Seriously? - Absolutely. And I'd leave him there."
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"What the hell is that?"
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"Uh, let's see."
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"Yep, 30 pieces of silverware."
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"- What's going on? - I've made you breakfast."
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"Juice, coffee..."
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"...and pancakes in the shape of some of your favorite fictional characters."
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"See, here's Frodo."
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"- You made Frodo pancakes? - Yeah, I used coconut shavings..."
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"...to do the hair on his feet."
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"If you need to void your bladder before eating..."
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"...I can keep them warm with this beret that I thoroughly laundered..."
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"...and pressed into service as a pancake cozy."
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"Why are you doing this?"
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"It's by way of an apology for my recent behavior."
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"I've had some time to reflect and I've come to realize..."
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"...that friendship is not an aggregation of written agreements."
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"- Butterscotch scone? - Thanks."
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"...and affection."
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"And about a pound of Crisco."
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"After breakfast, I thought we could spend the day..."
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"...watching the final season of Babylon 5 with director commentary."
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"You hate Babylon 5."
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"I do. It fails as drama, science fiction and it's hopelessly derivative."
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"But you like it, and you're my friend."
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"Okay, great."
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"- Still not taking you to Switzerland. - Drat."
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"No Frodo for you."
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"- Hello. - Hello."
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"Let's dispense with the friendly banter."
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"I believe you know why I'm here."
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"Well, I always figured it was to study us..."
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"...discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords."
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"Yes, amusing."
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"Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you..."
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"...but let me be more specific."
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"I believe you know why I'm here in the laundry room."
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"Better acoustics for your throat singing?"
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"It's actually not bad."
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"But my true purpose in being here will be revealed..."
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"...in this brief PowerPoint presentation. Ahem. Lights."
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""Why Sheldon Cooper, PhD..."
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"Oh, for God's sakes."
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"Here, we have a highly gifted researcher in the field of particle physics..."
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"...of forever changing mankind's understanding of the universe, a.k.a. me."
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"A.k.a. you."
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"Sorry. Is this supposed to be buttering me up?"
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"Please hold all questions until the end of the presentation."
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"This is the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Switzerland."
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"The product of decades of planning and construction."
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"They sell scented soaps and lotions. Some of which contain glitter."
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"Now, let's see if we can match the individual..."
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"...to the appropriate destination."
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"Okay. Show's over."
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"No, it's not. I've got five more slides."
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"Sheldon, this is Leonard's decision."
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"He invited me to Switzerland and I intend to go."
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"Very well."
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"Enjoy yourself."
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"You're gonna be in the presence of something I've dreamed of for decades."
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"I hope you'll appreciate..."
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"...the magnitude of where you are, and what it represents."
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"I'll talk to Leonard."
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"- You will? - Yes."
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"If it means that much to you, you should go."
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"Oh, Penny, thank you."
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"- You're welcome. - Since I rarely hug..."
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"...I'm relying on your expertise regarding duration."
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"- I think we're there. - Oh, good."
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"Bye-bye."
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"Even though I don't have a girlfriend, I can still have a good time on Valentine's."
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"Trust me, you can't. I've tried."
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"No, no, no. I'm gonna have a "me" day."
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"I'm gonna go to one of those spas in Koreatown..."
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"...take a steam, get a massage."
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"Then I'm gonna stop at a pet store and get licked by puppies."
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"- Sheldon, I need to talk to you. - All right, my friend."
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"Would you like some cholermus?"
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"- Some what? - Cholermus."
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"It's a traditional Swiss breakfast dish."
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"I'm preparing my gastrointestinal system for the exotic cuisine of Switzerland."
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"- You're not going to Switzerland. - Oh, but I am."
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"You went behind my back to guilt her into letting you go instead of her."
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"Yes, that good news."
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"Forget it. I was the one invited, I get to decide who goes with me."
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"And it's Penny, not you."
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"Howard, could you lower the lights? I have a short PowerPoint presentation."
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"I don't need to see your presentation. This discussion is over."
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"Well, that's a somewhat ambiguous response. Am I going or not?"
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"...I would go by myself before I would take you."
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"- Really? - Yeah, really."
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"Well, then. You leave me no alternative."
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"From this moment forward, we can be roommates..."
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"...but we will no longer be friends."
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"I'm sorry you feel that way."
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