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Clips from The Good Place - Existential Crisis (S02E02)

"actual unicorns you can ride."
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"Okay, well, if that's what you want."
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"Let's all get back to the party, then."
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"Okay, I know what you're thinking."
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"But don't think about that."
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"Focus on something great like Drakkar Noir..."
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"whoo... which I am wearing a lot of tonight."
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"Or the Sharper Image Catalog."
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"What can't those guys ionize?"
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"By the way, I am feeling amazing."
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"I'm going to do some push-ups."
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"and name our favorite cheese."
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"Let's all get back to the party."
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"What was that?"
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"You didn't run any of that by me."
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"Listen, when you guys first took over,"
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"I was upset, but it's all good now."
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"I mean, anger is toxic."
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"Do you want to dance?"
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"- No. - Okay."
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"I'm too miserable to stay here for one more second."
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"Why? There are baby monkeys"
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"and dolphins to ride"
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"and the game of "Hungry, Hungry Hippos""
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"with actual hippos. This party is way"
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"better than ours. Why are you miserable?"
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"I'm going to go and throw myself a pity party..."
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"No, no, no, even better... Dubai."
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"No, no, can't do that. Can't stop moving."
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"If I stop moving, I'll start thinking"
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"I don't want to think about, like death."
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"Oops."
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"I'm thinking about it now."
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"Oh, I know. Jeanette and I have been taking"
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"samba lessons, huh?"
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"- Let us show you how to do it. - Okay."
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"I think Vicky bought his excuse,"
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"Which one of these confusing French books"
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"but I don't think this can be solved"
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"What's the big whoop?"
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"Were you? I mean, you never had one moment"
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"where you were freaked out by the permanence of death?"
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"Hey, man, you got toothbrush holders?"
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"What's this?"
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"Who has four toothbrushes? Like, Bill Gates or something?"
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"No, that's like, for a family."
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"Family?"
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"Yep."
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"can be close to the kid toothbrushes and..."
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"watch over them and..."
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"They can all talk about their..."
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"toothbrush feelings."
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"And they can hold their little toothbrush hands"
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"when they're sad?"
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"Make sure no harm ever comes to their little bristles?"
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"Sure."
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"Oh, um, do you need Kleenex?"
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"Thank you."
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"Sorry. I'm so embarrassed."
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"A family pack?"
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"is going to hurt or help,"
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"but screw it."
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"Do you know what's really happening right now?"
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"You're learning what it's like to be human."
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"So we're all a little bit sad..."
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"But we don't get offered any other ones."
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"And if you try and ignore your sadness,"
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"So don't fight it."
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"In the words of a very wise"
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"Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee I once knew..."
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""Go ahead and cry all you want."
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"But you're going to have to pay for that toilet plunger.""
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"I got you something to eat."
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"I'm not hungry."
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"I just want to sit and stare at nothing"
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"and silently scream for the rest of time."
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"I might be way off-base here,"
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"a magical, all-powerful being."
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"And moreover, what's this say about me,"
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"about the life I lived?"
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"The way they're torturing me is through"
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"and it works."
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"Am I really that shallow?"
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"Listen, back in Jacksonville,"
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"I was in charge of a 60-person dance group."
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"Whenever we auditioned a new dancer,"
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"we would rate them in five categories:"
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"dancing ability, coolness,"
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"and smart-brained."
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"I would give you an eight in every category."
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"Well, eight isn't bad, I suppose."
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"It was a scale of 1-13,"
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"like a tent."
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"Why? It's not important."
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"Lately, you've been really down on yourself."
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"But you're the most amazing person I've ever met..."
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"besides Michael,"
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"That's so unnecessarily confusing."
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"The point is: you're cool,"
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"dope, fresh, and smart-brained."
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"'Cause you're good at everything."
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"You're awesome."
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"Be nicer to yourself."
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"Thank you, Jason."
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"From one eight to another."
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""Tahani devastated by party mishap."
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""Eleanor continues to be a selfish monster"
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"creating burden for Chidi.""
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"I brought you back from the brink"
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"of an existential coma, dude."
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"No, no. I have to embellish your misery"
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"on these fake torture reports"
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"Well, now that you've become acquainted"
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"I thought we could read "Death""
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"by philosopher Todd May."
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"Sounds like the perfect beach read."
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"So, um..."
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"we should probably discuss..."
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"Want some breakfast? I know how to make cereal."
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"- Sure, but, Jason, we should... - Okay, be right back."
The Good Place
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