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Clips from The Good Place - Existential Crisis (S02E02)

"Whoo-hoo-hoo."
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"You sure are."
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"So long."
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"Also, Quinston over here"
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"for Gunnar's birthday, but no one will show up"
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"So that's their plan."
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"This doesn't seem so bad."
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"and theirs are so basic."
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"who has only been torturing people for a thousand years."
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"Okay. Coast is clear."
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"Not a demon in sight."
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"Except for, you know..."
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"let's start our first lesson."
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"since they're both off being fake-tortured."
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"All right."
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"Well, I've read everything on your syllabus,"
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"stupid garbage."
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"my arms end in stupid little sticks.""
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"Proceed."
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"I'm being forced to throw a party that I know will fail."
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"That's why they're doing this."
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"from the netherworld, but does she have taste?"
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"Sophistication?"
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"An encyclopedic knowledge of traditional"
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"No. She doesn't."
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"than the party that's supposed to win?"
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"They'll be sad."
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"dress mausoleum, and I swore"
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"to uphold the Hostess Code:"
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"too much.""
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"2007."
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"and he's been evil since..."
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"then ethics don't matter to you because, basically,"
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"what we used to think about:"
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"No."
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"- Michael? - Yeah."
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"Is there any way that you can die?"
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"It's called retirement."
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"when one of us really screws something up..."
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"and every molecule of my body"
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"So is that what would happen"
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"if your boss found out that you defected to our side?"
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"Michael."
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"Imagine being retired."
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"you're saying that I would be..."
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"Now we're getting somewhere."
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"Dude, you broke Michael."
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"No, no. This is good."
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"He's having an existential crisis."
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"of our empty universe."
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"it's the first step towards understanding human ethics."
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"forever, and we're all doomed."
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"Do you eat? I can never remember."
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"I mean, you learn about death"
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"when you're a kid,"
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"Eleanor,"
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"I have some sad news."
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"Your doggie, Max, has passed away."
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"and at the end of that bridge"
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"Can we visit him at the farm?"
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"in a duffel bag under the deck."
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"The short answer is: I don't know."
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"And the slightly longer answer is: I didn't know"
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"Honestly, I'll get kind of annoyed"
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"if you do get sad"
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"on my ass about some stupid thing"
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"to do something very gross that I did not like."
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"I would say I outdid myself,"
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"but I'm always this good."
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"What's wrong with Michael?"
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"Basically, Michael just smoked a big bowl of ennui,"
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"Didn't Tahani do a good job?"
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"balloons!"
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"Okay, we all head over to Vicky's party together."
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"We babysit Michael in shifts so that no one sees"
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"Unless I am sorely mistaken."
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"Wow, this is... elaborate."
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"like a falcon."
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"And over there we filled a ball pit with puppies."
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"So we can all hang out here for a bit"
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"around the party looking miserable."
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"And then Chidi and I will keep an eye on Michael."
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"on this wave of positivity."
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"Is that Janet?"
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"Have you met my secretary, Jeanette?"
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"and also say things like, "You're so funny,""
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"and "So how many quarterbacks are in a home run?""
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"I was feeling stressed all the time,"
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"Get you something to eat."
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"to just straight-up mid-life crisis."
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"I mean, they hit on you when they're drunk,"
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"and their breath smells like supplements,"
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"that life is absurd. And that absurdity"
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"I mean the guy contemplates his own death"
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"losing a parent."
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"Eleanor! Mommy's here, baby!"
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"This is my boyfriend, Sam."
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"Sam, this is my mother..."
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"Sister! Sister..."
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"I'm not. I'm just saying he sucked."
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"Good!"
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"with Eleanor's father that I would outlive him."
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"You want to guess who won that one? Come on, guess."
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"I did! I won!"
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"Whoa."
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"Did my mom slip you her hotel room key?"
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"but I don't have, you know,"
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"Then we'll go around the room"
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"Okay, that's good with the speeches."
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"That's good, yeah."
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"I'm not about that negativity."
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"I am so happy you're in charge."
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"Okay, well, good."
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"You stay and have fun."
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"though I doubt I can even throw one of those properly."
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"Oh! Let's keep this party going!"
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"What now, huh? Want to hit the clubs?"
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"Oh, oh, oh... Vegas!"
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"I kind of feel like maybe we should wind down, have a..."
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"Can't stop moving."
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