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Clips from The Good Place - Existential Crisis (S02E02)

"and if I start thinking, I'll start thinking about things"
The Good Place
"Yep, thinking about death again."
The Good Place
"but we need to snap him out of this."
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"will make him normal again?"
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"It's not that easy."
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"I mean, emotionally, he's all over the map right now,"
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"with a book."
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"I dealt with death, and I was fine."
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"all together?"
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"Two slots for the parent toothbrushes"
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"So the parent toothbrushes"
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"I don't know if what I'm going to say"
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"That's just the deal."
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"Well, yeah. It is."
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"dopeness, freshness,"
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"but eight was highest."
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"The scale went up and then back down"
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"and he was constantly torturing us"
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"I've never seen you dance, but I bet you're good."
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"But really..."
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"I am grateful you pulled me out of my funk."
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"Should we wait for Tahani and Jason?"
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"That was awesome!"
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"It was."
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"Surprisingly so."
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"But we should still discuss..."
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"You've got to admit"
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"things are going pretty well since I took over."
The Good Place
"And based on my surveillance,"
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"our four humans don't suspect anything."
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"Yeah, because we're killing it."
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"Here are the torture ideas"
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"you asked me to write up for next week."
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"From now on, make all your memos"
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"one page max with pictures."
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"already came up with a sick idea"
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"for how to torture Tahani."
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"Tell him, babe."
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"We're going to have Tahani throw a party"
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"because we'll also be throwing a party,"
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"Oh, that one just came to me."
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"It really tucks my nuggets."
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"I worked so hard on my torture ideas,"
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"These millennials, they have no work ethic."
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"Oh, sorry, a millennial is someone"
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"A millennial."
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"Is that what we should call you? "Demon"?"
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"Well, I mean, it's not really accurate,"
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"But it's fine."
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"Tahani and Jason will have to make it up"
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"and how do I put this delicately?"
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"It's all, ah,"
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"So how about Socrates?"
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"Let me just get into the mind-set of a human."
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""Oh, I'm a human,"
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""and my breathing tube is next to my eating tube."
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""Oh, and look,"
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"Okay."
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"Good."
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"This is so depressing."
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"It's what you're best at."
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"Just like I'm the best at getting empty water bottles"
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"to stay on the roof of a Pizza Hut."
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"You know what?"
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"Vicky may be some demonic torturer"
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"and avant-garde Belgian floral design?"
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"Yes! She does."
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"What if I throw a party that is so amazing"
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"they'll be sad. I won't be sad."
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"- Janet! - Hi there."
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"Janet, when I turned 18,"
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"I knelt in front of Princess Grace's"
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""shall do my level best"
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""to make every event..."
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"Model tonight's décor after my 2008 fundraiser"
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"for the Red Cross in Zurich."
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"Man."
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"Michael is not into your class."
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"I'm going to be the..."
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"velociraptor."
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"You've been teaching him ethics for half an hour,"
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"the beginning of time."
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"Maybe the reason Michael can't latch"
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"onto the ideas is because he's immortal."
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"Look, look. If you live forever,"
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"there's no consequences for your actions."
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"You tell a lie, who cares?"
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"Wait a few trillion years, the guilt will fade."
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"Before I can teach Michael to be good,"
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"I have to force him to think about"
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"that life has an end,"
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"and therefore our actions have meaning."
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"That's what you used to think about?"
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"I used to think about how it's weird"
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"they don't make pants that are just one big pant leg"
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"for both your legs."
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"You're not getting it. And my thing is different,"
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"It's rare, but"
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"Well, it's fairly straightforward."
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"My essence would be scooped out of my body"
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"with a flaming ladle,"
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"would be placed on the surface of a different sun."
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"Sure."
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"Yeah."
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"and if it did there would be"
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"no more..."
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"But you? Poof."
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"Gone. Nothingness."
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"Okay."
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"Huh."
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"So..."
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"No..."
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"Me?"
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"Okay!"
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"It's a sort of anguish people go through"
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"when they contemplate the silent indifference"
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"Look, the good news is,"
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"if he can work through this,"
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"And what if he can't?"
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"Then, he'll be a lifeless shell of misery"
The Good Place
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