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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Charlie Has Cancer (S01E01)

"Mac and I were about to go play in the park. I think you-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- What? - Yeah, I found out I might have cancer."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Sighs]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Jesus, dude. I don't know what to say."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We can talk, right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Uh, did you want to talk, like, right now?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. - Do me a favor though. Uh, don't tell anybody."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I don't want it gettin' around. - Oh, no, no. I won't say anything."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"It's just we're supposed to meet, like, a bunch of people..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Yeah. He probably is."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"That is so sad. He is gonna look so bad without that hair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So when we see him we're supposed to act like we don't know anything?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Don't be a pain in the ass. - I am not be-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What we'll do is we'll find a girl for Charlie tonight in the bar."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yes. - [Dee] No, you won't."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Dennis, our bar is in South Philly in a scary alley."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"it's always the biggest asshole that winds up accosting her."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Yeah. One would think actually."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Right there. - [Dennis] Over by the pool table?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. Nice. - That's great, Mac."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Tranny. - Implants?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. - I'll be right back."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Thanks. Is that a penis in your pants? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- You lied to me. - No, I didn't."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Um, but I don't know."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Maybe I'll give you a call sometime."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. - Cool. That's very cool."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Uh- - Did you want something from me, or-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What time are- are you getting off of work?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Really cool. - All right. All right."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"because the whole thing is gonna sound so much better coming from a girl."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Why? - The Christmas party."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"when Santa came out at halftime and we threw batteries?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"That sucks because if Sweet Dee's out, we need to find another girl quickly."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You're sayin'-Are you talking about letting Sweet Dee punch me in my face?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Scoffs] Who am I?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"just to find out..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"is to shake it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I lost my job at the Wawa."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What am I gonna do?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Cell Phone Rings]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Hello? - Hey, Dennis. It's Dee."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Uh, Rick Astley. What's up? - ## [Continues]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Sweet Dee, we talked about this. - No, no. Just listen."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, yeah. - Do it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Hi. - Carmen."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Just watchin' a basketball game."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"No, it's okay. I've got a hair appointment in, like, 20 minutes."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- All right. Let's roll. - W-Wait. Well-Well, what's the plan?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Really?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Why? - Well, Dennis was thinking that that might help..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"convince you to sleep with our friend Charlie."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- 250. - Deal."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"## [Continues]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Okay. - I'm here for the audition."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"That's what I do."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What's goin' on? Gotta pee."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Door Closes]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- What's goin' on, man? You seem really happy. - Uh, I feel pretty happy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- She really likes me. So thank you, man. - You're welcome, man!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah, you seem flush. You seem like a- - I feel like a-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I feel like an ice cream sundae, you know? - [Laughs]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Then you're gonna tell her. She's gonna feel sorry for me."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Sighs]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I don't understand how you could possibly be so-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"It was unbelievable. I ran all the way here. Go."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Hey. - Hey."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Well, it's funny. It's a, uh- It's a funny, funny thing. - It's funny."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"If you could toss that back our way, that'd be great."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Lock Clicks]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"She's probably gettin' the money though, right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Mac] Dennis!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- [Knocking] - Yo, Charlie! It's Dennis!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Hey. - Hey, dude."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What's up, buddy?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, your face looks, uh, like, poofy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Uh- Uh, yeah, I've been cryin' a little bit."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Huh? I'm sorry."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, do you have that basketball?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Uh, yeah. I might. Come on in. - Yeah? Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Exhales]"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh. [Chuckles] Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What's wrong? You look, uh, hungover or something."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"No. Yeah, it's- I found out I might have cancer, so ooh."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"That's why I haven't been down to the bar recently. And, uh-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"They go over cancer, cancer-related issues."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah? - I've been sittin' in here boohooin' a little bit."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So, uh- I mean, I'm glad we can talk."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. Of course. Yeah, talk. We can always talk. - Awesome, dude."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"All right, so it starts out I'm not feeling good. I'm havin' headaches and-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, you know, I was thinking we could talk right now."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, it's not really a good time."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"It's just that Mac and Sweet Dee are down in the car waitin' for me."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I told them I'd just, you know, zip in and zip out."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, yeah. All right. - I could ask 'em to wait."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"[Sighs] Don't do that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I really shouldn't. - Then don't."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hey, uh, look, man."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Thanks. All right."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Uh- Uh-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Could I get the- the basketball though?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Yeah, but Charlie's got such great hair. Is he gonna lose all of his hair?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Well, so what kind of cancer is it? - I don't know, man."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Well, when does he go in for treatment? - He didn't say."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You know, we just stood there for a long time and didn't say much, you know?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And we cried together, and I held him for a while..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"and that was it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- We gotta do somethin' nice for him. We should go back. - No, no, no."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We can't go back. He made me promise not to tell anybody."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. - No, no. That's not right at all."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"He needs people around him. He shouldn't be alone."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I learned a lot in my theater and psych classes about the human nature-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dee, you know what? Nobody cares about your psych or theater training."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"No, no, no. Dee's right. Let's think about this."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What's the one thing that Charlie never gets?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Laid. - Right! So let's find a girl for Charlie."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- No, not at all what I was saying actually. - No, no. Let's find-"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Let's find a girl for Charlie- someone to be there for him..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- spend time with him, you know, nurture him. - Bang him."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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