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Clips from South Park - The Succubus (S03E03)

"Thomas, you're gonna get me going!"
South Park
"$3.50!"
South Park
"Well, it was about that time I got suspicious."
South Park
"I said, "Damn it, monster, you stop bugging my children, now!"
South Park
"Excuse me."
South Park
"We're sorry to interrupt, but we've got bad news."
South Park
"This is not a woman. It is a succubus."
South Park
"She's evil and wants to suck Chef's life out of him!"
South Park
"Children, that hurts my feelings."
South Park
"You can pretend all you want. You're not fooling anybody!"
South Park
"Now, you can either accept that, or get out of my life."
South Park
"Oh, man. There's tons of stuff on succubuses,"
South Park
"You guys, it's 6:00 in the morning. I have to get some sleep."
South Park
"Dude, Chef's wedding is in three hours."
South Park
"You know what? Screw Chef. There, I said it."
South Park
"Here! Here! Look at this. It says,"
South Park
"- What the hell does that mean? - I don't know."
South Park
"Right."
South Park
"Yeah."
South Park
"Hey, yeah! What's that song she always sings?"
South Park
"If we can hold on to the night"
South Park
"We've got to find our way together"
South Park
"In three hours."
South Park
"We can't fall asleep. We've gotta nail that song."
South Park
"I wasn't sleeping. I was just thinking really hard."
South Park
"And then these aliens had me up on their ship, right?"
South Park
"We had taco salad that night."
South Park
"Now, this alien had a big head, and big black eyes, and it was all bent over me."
South Park
"He tricked me."
South Park
"Well, no wonder the damn monster keeps coming back to our house!"
South Park
"- Bitch, bitch, bitch. - Dirty bitch."
South Park
"Do you, Chef, take this woman as your lawful wedded wife?"
South Park
"- To have and to... - I do!"
South Park
"I'll take care of them!"
South Park
"Oh, no! The tape jammed!"
South Park
"What the..."
South Park
"She's a goddamned succubus!"
South Park
"We're sorry, Chef. We had to do it."
South Park
"No, I'm glad you did, children."
South Park
"Now that she's gone, I can't really figure out what I ever saw in her."
South Park
"Poontang's poontang."
South Park
"What? What happened, you guys? Is Kenny okay?"
South Park
"- Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef."
South Park
"How would like some fish sticks and Tater Tots?"
South Park
"But then love goes away"
South Park
"And then you're left with nothing 'cause you're thinking with your dong"
South Park
"And never let poontang come between you and your friends."
South Park
"- Was he an organ donor? - Sure."
South Park
"Say, you don't have $3.50 on you, do you?"
South Park
"You have to see the eye doctor, Eric."
South Park
"You're not fat. You're big-boned."
South Park
"That's what I told him, but he doesn't listen to reason!"
South Park
"- Weak. - Hello, Eric."
South Park
"- Hi, Dr Lout. - How's my little piggy today?"
South Park
"Hey! Don't call me a little piggy!"
South Park
"Hop up on the chair."
South Park
"Just kidding. Let's see how your eyes are doing."
South Park
"All you have to do is read the letters. Can you see the letters?"
South Park
"No, no. That was just a weird coincidence."
South Park
"Gee, that's a good idea. My mom isn't paying you to be a comedian."
South Park
"Let's see. Which is better? One or two? One or two?"
South Park
"They look exactly the same."
South Park
"- Just pick one or two. - I don't know. Two!"
South Park
"Okay, one or two. One or two."
South Park
"- I hate you! - Yes, there is obviously a problem"
South Park
"with your eyes. I'm going to have to dilate them and run some tests."
South Park
"I wonder how come Cartman's not in school today."
South Park
"Yeah. Oh, here he comes."
South Park
"Why? I'll tell you why. Because he's a goddamned asshole,"
South Park
"and that's about it."
South Park
"Why do you have to see an eye doctor?"
South Park
"Dude, just ask Chef for help. He always knows what to do."
South Park
"Hey, yeah."
South Park
"- Hey, Chef. - Hello there, children."
South Park
"Dude, my eyes are seriously screwed up."
South Park
"- What? - Chef is gone,"
South Park
"so let me introduce myself. I'm your new cook, Mr. Derp."
South Park
"Mr. Derp?"
South Park
"are gonna happen. If you liked Chef, you're gonna love Mr. Derp!"
South Park
"Derp! Wasn't that silly, kids?"
South Park
"Why did Chef quit?"
South Park
"Aren't I a great character? My antics go right to the funny bone."
South Park
"Sure, gang. I have yellow stuff or white stuff. Derp!"
South Park
"Dude, I hate Mr. Derp."
South Park
"- Oh, hello there, children. - Chef, what the hell are you doing?"
South Park
"We almost starved to death at lunch today."
South Park
"But why? Why would you quit?"
South Park
"Children, three nights ago I was at the library checking out some books"
South Park
"on Kama Sutra, when I met the most amazing woman ever."
South Park
"and viewing them as sexual objects."
South Park
"And I realized that I had done that myself."
South Park
"- What darling little children! - Here she is now!"
South Park
"Children, meet my new girlfriend, Veronica."
South Park
"Children, Veronica's moving in with me."
South Park
"- Love? - Oh, you nut."
South Park
"Veronica spent the whole day sharing her favourite poems with me."
South Park
"But Chef always helps us with our problems."
South Park
"Well, I can still do that, children."
South Park
"In fact, Veronica can help me. She's a great singer, too!"
South Park
"What's the problem?"
South Park
"My eyes are going bad,"
South Park
"but the only eye doctor in South Park is really, really mean."
South Park
"Oh, I know just the song for you."
South Park
"If we can hold on to the night"
South Park
"- That bitch! - She's stealing Chef from us!"
South Park
"Maybe it's just a phase. We just have to get him alone,"
South Park
"Maybe, is it possible that we're just jealous"
South Park
"because Chef is our friend, and now he's paying attention to somebody new?"
South Park
"Look, we've just got to get Chef alone."
South Park
"You've got a small astigmatism that's causing all the problems."
South Park
"If you call me piggy one more time, I'm going to leap out of this chair,"
South Park
"that's going to make your eyes as good as new."
South Park
"I know. The hardest thing to do is get kids to wear their glasses."
South Park
"That's why we have the little stapler."
South Park
"I hate you guys."
South Park
"Hello, and welcome to Steinburg and Burgstein. Can I help you?"
South Park
"- We wanna talk to Chef. - Chef?"
South Park
"Oh, the black guy!"
South Park
"Third cubicle on the left."
South Park
"Eric, you got glasses!"
South Park
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