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Clips from South Park - The Succubus (S03E03)

"Mom, please, can we just leave?"
South Park
"But I hate the eye doctor! He always makes fun of me for being fat."
South Park
"Eric Cartman?"
South Park
"- Don't break it, now. - Goddamn it!"
South Park
"- Yes. - All right, read them out for me."
South Park
"That does it! Mom!"
South Park
"I do not know how that happened."
South Park
""I am a little piggy." Wow, what are the odds of that?"
South Park
"All right, let's get down to business, shall we?"
South Park
"- One. - One or two. One or two."
South Park
"- Two! - No! The answer is one, piggy! One!"
South Park
"Whoa, what happened to your eyes, Cartman?"
South Park
"Because my eyes suck, but that doctor likes to torture me,"
South Park
"and I have to go back tomorrow, and I don't know what I'm gonna do!"
South Park
"Chef looks like a skinny little white guy."
South Park
"It's time for luncheroo!"
South Park
"- Where's Chef? - Chef quit."
South Park
"When I'm in the kitchen, you never know what nutty things"
South Park
"Derp!"
South Park
"I don't feel so good."
South Park
"Derp!"
South Park
"Could you just hand us some food, please?"
South Park
"Can I have a yellow with a side of white?"
South Park
"I don't know, you guys, that hammer thing was pretty funny."
South Park
"Shut up, Cartman!"
South Park
"Yeah, but we didn't believe them."
South Park
"Well, it's true."
South Park
"So you made sweet love to her down by the fire?"
South Park
"No, no. We just sat there all night long and talked."
South Park
"That's nice. Look, Chef, Cartman's got this eye doctor, see..."
South Park
"Girlfriend?"
South Park
"- Moving in? - I'm in love."
South Park
"What the hell is going on?"
South Park
"Sorry, boys, looks like I'm stealing Chef away from you."
South Park
"There's got to be a morning after"
South Park
"Let's keep on looking for the light"
South Park
"This is insane."
South Park
"He didn't even seem like Chef. He seemed like a empty shell of a man."
South Park
"so we can tell him what a bitch she is."
South Park
"Yeah, so?"
South Park
"- Yeah, screw that bitch. - Bitch. I hate that bitch!"
South Park
"He won't listen to reason with that hooker around."
South Park
"Let's find out where he's working and go see him tomorrow."
South Park
"Good idea."
South Park
"Stop calling me piggy!"
South Park
"- So what does that mean? - It means, piggy, that your eyesight"
South Park
"is never going to get better."
South Park
"Alright. Right now, I'm going to be totally seriously, okay?"
South Park
"and rip your goddamn nuts off with my bare hands."
South Park
"Well, don't worry, I've got something"
South Park
"Dude, super weak! I'm not wearing these. The guys will totally rip on me."
South Park
"I'm just gonna take them off as soon as I leave."
South Park
"They said Chef works in one of these buildings."
South Park
""Look at Cartman in his stupid glasses.""
South Park
"I can't. They're stapled to my head."
South Park
"- He's a big guy, with a beard. - And a chef's hat."
South Park
"Hey, aren't you that cute little kid from Jerry Maguire?"
South Park
"Yeah, sure, sure."
South Park
"- Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef."
South Park
"and get some leather holders for our pagers. You wanna come?"
South Park
"Children, Veronica has shown me that I'd been living a very empty life."
South Park
"No way, dude!"
South Park
"Please, Chef. I don't know what to do about my stupid glasses."
South Park
"Hey, laser corrective surgery. Thanks, Chef!"
South Park
"You see? Everything's gonna be fine."
South Park
"Chef should be here any minute."
South Park
"Come on. We're going to his house!"
South Park
"Oh, hello there, children."
South Park
"All right, mister! You better have a good explanation"
South Park
"Veronica surprised me at the office and took me out to dinner."
South Park
"Well, we've got something to tell you about Veronica, Chef."
South Park
"Veronica and I are getting married!"
South Park
"My whole family's coming in for the wedding,"
South Park
"This is so wonderful! Let's sing!"
South Park
"So let's review. Tootie left in the fourth season,"
South Park
"but Blair and Jo stayed on and got husbands,"
South Park
"Okay, children, that's lunch. See you in 30 minutes."
South Park
"Normally we go to Chef with our problems, but we can't this time."
South Park
"is just as valuable as Chef's, if not more so."
South Park
"and then stopped being your friend, and it pissed you off?"
South Park
"- The old succubus syndrome. - What's a succubus?"
South Park
"A succubus is a woman sent from Hell to suck the life out of a man."
South Park
"- That's it! - Yeah!"
South Park
"This is totally what's happening!"
South Park
"Yeah. He's gonna be so thankful we told him."
South Park
"Oh, no!"
South Park
"But, Mom, I have to tell Chef that he's marrying a succubus."
South Park
"I'm Chef's father! We just flew in for the wedding!"
South Park
"Chef, we have to talk to you."
South Park
"- You're Chef's parents? - Yes, all his life."
South Park
"We have to talk to him."
South Park
"about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?"
South Park
"No, that's okay."
South Park
"Must have been about seven, eight years ago."
South Park
"We was so scared. Lord, have mercy. I jumped up in the boat and I said,"
South Park
""Thomas, what on Earth is that creature?""
South Park
"And the monster bent down and said, "I need about $3.50.""
South Park
"She gives him a dollar!"
South Park
"Hey, you son of a bitch. I'm gonna kick you square in the..."
South Park
"And that was the third time we saw the Loch Ness monster."
South Park
"She was so adorable with the little pigtails and all."
South Park
"And she says to me, "How would you like to buy some cookies?""
South Park
"She had Thin Mints, Graham Crunchy Thins..."
South Park
"Raisin Oatmeal..."
South Park
"Raisin Oatmeal... And I said, "We'll take a Graham Crunch."
South Park
""How much will that be?" And she looks at me and says,"
South Park
"Well, it was about that time that I noticed this girl scout"
South Park
"The Loch Ness monster."
South Park
"- Lord, he was angry. - Damn right, I was angry."
South Park
"Shut your mouth, woman."
South Park
"Damn, your eyes must really suck, Cartman."
South Park
"Thanks for the newsflash, Tom Brokaw."
South Park
"Well, we couldn't even talk to him."
South Park
"She's so evil, she has him totally kept away from us."
South Park
"We know what you are, lady."
South Park
"A what?"
South Park
"A demon from Hell sent to suck the life out of men."
South Park
"I'm going to marry Chef tomorrow"
South Park
"and there's not a goddamned thing you can do about it!"
South Park
"Could I have your attention please?"
South Park
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