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Clips from Family Guy - Brian: Portrait of a Dog (S01E01)

"Please don't threaten Mommy. She's very hot."
Family Guy
"Chris, you're hogging up all the fans!"
Family Guy
"Yeah? You're hogging up all the ugly!"
Family Guy
"The Rhode Island Dog Show Championship is in Quahog this year!"
Family Guy
"- First prize is $500! - Really?"
Family Guy
"Brian. You could win for sure."
Family Guy
"You could do your impression of a barbershop quartet."
Family Guy
""We were sailing along"
Family Guy
""On Moonlight Bay"
Family Guy
""We could hear the voices singing"
Family Guy
""They seemed to say""
Family Guy
"Sorry. I don't do dog shows. It's not my thing."
Family Guy
"And maybe a trick or two. It'll be like taking candy from a baby."
Family Guy
"Please, Brian."
Family Guy
"I don't know. I mean I don't even know where my papers are."
Family Guy
"Can't you get the money another way?"
Family Guy
"I've been trying. That's why I went on that game show."
Family Guy
"For $800, this chemical dye is found in over 95% of all cosmetic products."
Family Guy
"Diarrhea."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Sorry. What is Diarrhea?"
Family Guy
"Come on, Brian. We really need a new air conditioner."
Family Guy
"Okay, let's go over the commands."
Family Guy
"Sit."
Family Guy
"Do you want to win this thing or not?"
Family Guy
"We haven't even talked about how you'll wear your ears."
Family Guy
"I was thinking up."
Family Guy
"I need a cocktail."
Family Guy
"Don't push too hard, Peter."
Family Guy
"You gotta take Brian's feelings into consideration."
Family Guy
"...but you're sucking all the energy out of the room."
Family Guy
"Come."
Family Guy
"I got you a little something for the show."
Family Guy
"It's Italian. Do you like it?"
Family Guy
"It's exquisite."
Family Guy
"Clearly. I'm gonna put it on right now."
Family Guy
"And the whole family appreciates it."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Lois."
Family Guy
"And Brian..."
Family Guy
"...you look very handsome."
Family Guy
"...almost as hot as the weather, which is once again in the triple digits."
Family Guy
"...almost as hot as the weather, which is once again in the triple digits."
Family Guy
"Do I know you?"
Family Guy
"I don't think I can do this."
Family Guy
"- Something to relax you before you go on? - Peter, are you offering Brian drugs?"
Family Guy
"Not drugs. Just a little blue thing celebrities take to help them perform."
Family Guy
"Lois, if Liza is wrong, then I don't want to know what right is."
Family Guy
"Two minutes to curtain, Miss Minnelli!"
Family Guy
"Lady, for God's sake, I'm just a hard-shelled chocolate candy! Get help!"
Family Guy
"You there, child-woman!"
Family Guy
"Let me see if I can find you a juice box."
Family Guy
"We're off to a good start."
Family Guy
"A beautiful performance from "Brain" Griffin!"
Family Guy
"What the hell is this?"
Family Guy
"Brian, you're embarrassing me."
Family Guy
"God, he can't expect Brian to do that."
Family Guy
"It's easier than it looks, Mom."
Family Guy
"Come on, Brian. We had a deal."
Family Guy
"Yeah? The deal's off."
Family Guy
"Me and the little shred of dignity I have left will be waiting in the car!"
Family Guy
"Brian, come! Don't you walk out on me!"
Family Guy
"Keep going. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, flip me off. Good boy."
Family Guy
"I let you down? Because I refused to demean myself..."
Family Guy
"...by perpetuating the stereotype of the good dog?"
Family Guy
"This and not do that thing where you drag your ass across the carpet."
Family Guy
"One time I did that!"
Family Guy
"Peter, Brian, please."
Family Guy
"Let's just have a nice family car ride like we always do."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Except for the time Dad hit that deer."
Family Guy
"Yeah, it looks like it's just a ding."
Family Guy
"There's no reason to involve the insurance companies."
Family Guy
"I should still take down your information."
Family Guy
"Really? You could probably just buff that out."
Family Guy
"Yeah, but I..."
Family Guy
"Brian, maybe I had you pegged wrong."
Family Guy
"Maybe you really don't care about this family."
Family Guy
"If you cared about me, you'd never ask me to do something so degrading."
Family Guy
"The next time I ask you to do something, I expect you to do it. Understand?"
Family Guy
"Is that what you want? Because I'll stop."
Family Guy
"God. Brian, don't do this."
Family Guy
"Is the doggie going bye-bye? I'm so sad."
Family Guy
"Quick! Back up!"
Family Guy
"Can I see your license, boy?"
Family Guy
""Boy"?"
Family Guy
"Oh, God. I left it on my other collar."
Family Guy
"- I was just out for a little walk. That's all. - Without a leash."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna have to ask you to lie down on the sidewalk. Down!"
Family Guy
"I don't believe this."
Family Guy
"Sorry, sir. But leash laws are for his own good."
Family Guy
"Lordy, I'll never roam again!"
Family Guy
"Jackass."
Family Guy
"He's the law outside this house just like I'm the law inside this house."
Family Guy
"- And you better start obeying both of us. - Look at you."
Family Guy
"Big man, can't even afford to buy an air conditioner for your family."
Family Guy
"What a bitch."
Family Guy
"Good morning Quahog. The heat wave has finally broken."
Family Guy
""...the weather in New England, go back where you came from.""
Family Guy
"I don't think that's the expression."
Family Guy
"I guess I had too many bloody marys this morning. But anyway..."
Family Guy
"I don't know how those two manage to be so perky in the morning."
Family Guy
"Something smells good."
Family Guy
"Nothing says "I love you" like something from..."
Family Guy
"Really?"
Family Guy
"I could've sworn his favorite was "treat Peter like crap" buns."
Family Guy
"Good morning, Brian."
Family Guy
"My, your summer coat is really coming in nicely. Isn't it, Peter?"
Family Guy
"I'll be on the veranda since you're already on the cross."
Family Guy
"Eat with us, Brian. I made cinnamon buns."
Family Guy
"May I have one on a plate or is Peter planning to balance it on my nose?"
Family Guy
"Peter, Brian, stop this."
Family Guy
"We can't go back to the way things were after how I was treated."
Family Guy
"- Not after the things I've seen. - What did you see? Was it breasts?"
Family Guy
"Get over it, Brian. I mean, how bad do you really have it here?"
Family Guy
"- When I found you, you were just a stray. - You swore you would never speak of that."
Family Guy
"No. Jeez."
Family Guy
"All set, sir."
Family Guy
"I don't have any change. Sorry."
Family Guy
"That's okay. No charge."
Family Guy
"Wait."
Family Guy
"You hungry?"
Family Guy
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