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Clips from Friends - The One with the Girl Who Hits Joey (S05E05)

"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"- I brought you some housewarming gifts. - Oh."
Friends
"- Salt, so your life always has flavor. - Ah."
Friends
"- Bread, so you never go hungry. - Oh."
Friends
"And a scented candle for the bathroom."
Friends
"Well, thanks. Thanks. And thanks, I guess."
Friends
"Hi. Welcome to the building. I'm Steve Cera, President of the tenants' committee."
Friends
"Oh, hi. Ross Geller. And, uh, this is my friend Phoebe."
Friends
"I, uh, came to talk to you about Howard."
Friends
"Howard?"
Friends
"Yeah, he's the handyman. He's gonna be retiring next week..."
Friends
"...and everyone who lives here is kicking in a hundred bucks..."
Friends
"...as a "thank you for all the hard work" type of thing."
Friends
"- Oh, that's nice. - Yeah."
Friends
"So you want to give me a check, or?"
Friends
"Oh, uh..."
Friends
"You don't have to give it to me now. You can slip it under my door."
Friends
"No, no, it's not that. It's just... I just moved in."
Friends
"Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"Okay, I get it."
Friends
"I mean, I don't know Howard."
Friends
"Howard's the handyman."
Friends
"Okay. Fine. Whatever."
Friends
"Welcome to the building."
Friends
"Can you believe that guy?"
Friends
"Yeah. I really like his glasses."
Friends
"So then President Steve told everyone I was a cheapskate..."
Friends
"A little kid spit on my knee."
Friends
"You know what? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right, for everyone in the building."
Friends
"And I'm gonna sit them all down and explain to them that I am not a bad guy."
Friends
"...who stands up for what he believes in."
Friends
"A man with principles."
Friends
"- Sounds like a fun party. - Mm."
Friends
"Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you..."
Friends
"- A party's gonna cost you way more. - That doesn't matter."
Friends
"It's my principles. We're talking about my principles."
Friends
"Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you."
Friends
"Oh, they'll like me once they come to my awesome par-tay."
Friends
"Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags."
Friends
"Very, very funny. But don't say things like that in from of Monica."
Friends
"I don't want you putting any ideas in her head."
Friends
"Um, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas..."
Friends
"...are probably already in Monica's head?"
Friends
"Why?"
Friends
"Well, because she loves you and because you love her."
Friends
"Hey, Chandler, don't freak out. I'm telling you something you already know."
Friends
"Come on. She broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies."
Friends
"And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and, you know, it's Monica."
Friends
"I don't see it that way. Okay? I see two Monicas:"
Friends
"The one that was my friend who lives across the hall and wanted a lot of babies."
Friends
"And the new Monica who I started to date. Now, who is to say what she wants?"
Friends
"I'm right. I'm right. Am I right?"
Friends
"You are absolutely right. I mean, that makes everything different."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"It's not different, is it?"
Friends
"You know, breadstick fangs are always funny."
Friends
"Uh, look, Katie, uh, listen, we need to talk, okay?"
Friends
"Um, look, I like you. I really do. I like you a lot, okay?"
Friends
"But sometimes when you playfully punch me like that..."
Friends
"Oh. Like I could hurt you."
Friends
"- Are you making fun of my size? - No."
Friends
"Don't make fun of me because of my size."
Friends
"- Isn't this great? - Mm."
Friends
"Couldn't you just stay like this forever?"
Friends
"Chandler?"
Friends
"Couldn't you just stay here forever?"
Friends
"- Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm cool."
Friends
"Casual."
Friends
"What are you doing?"
Friends
"Man, I knew it. I knew you were going to do this."
Friends
"Get all freaked out because everybody was joking around about marriage."
Friends
"Well, you do want all that stuff, right?"
Friends
"And you know what I want?"
Friends
"Yes. You want babies. You have baby fever."
Friends
"I do not have baby fever."
Friends
"Oh, please. You are obsessed with babies and marriage..."
Friends
"...and everything that's related to babies and marriage."
Friends
"Have you lost your mind?"
Friends
"Chandler, this isn't about me."
Friends
"This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap."
Friends
"Uh-uh. I know you, okay? I know the thoughts that you have in your head."
Friends
"Well, you don't know everything."
Friends
"Did you know I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm?"
Friends
"And did you know I can't even look at you right now?"
Friends
"Yeah, well, I did not know that."
Friends
"It's gonna be okay, right? I mean, she's not gonna leave me. This is fixable."
Friends
"- Yeah, sure. - Absolutely."
Friends
"- By me? - Oh, no, no, no."
Friends
"Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture."
Friends
"Yeah, big, though."
Friends
"Shh. The missus."
Friends
"To go."
Friends
"I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you."
Friends
"- What? - That's what we do."
Friends
"I mess up, you tell me how to fix it and I do."
Friends
"And then, you know, you think I'm all cute again."
Friends
"I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor."
Friends
"You're gonna have to figure this out for yourself."
Friends
"You know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship..."
Friends
"...then don't be in one."
Friends
"Right about now Funk soul brother"
Friends
"Phoebe. Phoebe."
Friends
"What are you doing here?"
Friends
"See you, Phoebe. Oh, and, hey, thanks for chipping in."
Friends
"Phoebe, I can't believe you gave him money."
Friends
"I thought you agreed it was unreasonable that they asked me for that money."
Friends
"Yeah, but they didn't ask me, you know?"
Friends
"That's always fun to be."
Friends
"Yeah, but you're making me look bad."
Friends
"No, I'm not. No, if anything, I'm making you look better."
Friends
"Oh, hey, Ross."
Friends
"Um, say, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments."
Friends
"Because Phoebe is more our kind of people."
Friends
"Yeah, okay, my bad."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hi."
Friends
"Wow. You look big."
Friends
"Thanks, I've been working out."
Friends
"Hey, listen, is it obvious I'm wearing six sweaters?"
Friends
"Uh, yeah."
Friends
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