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Clips from The Simpsons - Once Upon a Time in Springfield (S21E21)

"please hand back all the hats, toys, and savings bonds"
The Simpsons
"(kids exclaiming sadly)"
The Simpsons
"Great show, Krusty."
The Simpsons
"Terrific! We've got to make changes."
The Simpsons
"Big changes."
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"These are your ratings with young girls."
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"they wouldn't be writers."
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"The subtitle: "We u at all.""
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"Anyway, we're giving you a new female co-star"
The Simpsons
"and she starts Monday. What?!"
The Simpsons
"Then we've got an entire reality show"
The Simpsons
"Hey, hey! I'm non-union!"
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"Okay, okay. Change the show however you want!"
The Simpsons
"Make it exactly like the other crap on your network,"
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"but just let me stay!"
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"Now that's groveling."
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"Time to try out my new deep fryer."
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"Who wants fresh doughnuts?"
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"Some rainbow-- there's no violet."
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"Then don't have any."
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"Hey, don't listen to me!"
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"What do I know about rainbows?"
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"(smacking lips) Mmm."
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"I get free doughnuts at work."
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"In the break room, beside the fridge,"
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"jellies rubbing elbows with cream-filled,"
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"with the feminine curves of the treats themselves."
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"I did, once."
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"(humming happily)"
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"(exclaims)"
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"No pink box?"
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"Wha-what's going on?"
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"I'm afraid your daily doughnuts are no more."
The Simpsons
"Until Mr. Roosevelt's New Deal starts working,"
The Simpsons
"this country's still in a depression."
The Simpsons
"I'm spending a fortune on atoms,"
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"and we have to cut costs."
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"But we have way more expensive"
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"Or all the joke ID badges we order."
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"But seriously, hey, hey, kids."
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"A word about today's show."
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"The network "geniuses""
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"...think your old pal Krusty should share his limelight"
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"Let's give a respectful welcome"
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"to Princess Penelope."
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"(sparse applause)"
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"* It's not in the smiles of my handmaids three *"
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"* Who hold up the train *"
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"* The girl whom everyone flatters *"
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"(groans)"
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"* 'Cause in her heart *"
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"* A princess knows *"
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"I can't keep watching this dreck."
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"(relieved sigh)"
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"First, girls ruined Sex and the City."
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"Now this."
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"I agree it's cliché,"
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"(gasps) Unicorn!"
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"That is so fake."
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"Easy there, Habitrail."
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"They took away our doughnuts at work."
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"there's nothing we can do about it."
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"there's nothing we can do about it.""
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"Bartender, buy these men a round on me."
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"You want to "buy a round?""
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"I heard about that in bartending school,"
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"Very good indeed."
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"You nuclear workers have no idea how valuable you are."
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"now that all the protesters who marched in front"
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"or passports to a better future?"
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"your studio audience is packed."
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"And we didn't need any cardboard kids."
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"Yeah, but they're all girls."
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"Dutch Masters is gonna drop us like a hot potato."
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"I see we reached a soft timber agreement with Canada."
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"(girls clamoring): Yes! Yes!"
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"(sneezing)"
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"Breathin' all this stuff can't be good."
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"Poor Krusty."
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"He's become the lowest form of life: a sidekick."
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"You said it, Bart."
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"Take it easy, little buddy."
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"Watch your language. Now, why the hell not?"
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"The Krusty Show sucks now."
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"It's all pink and princessy."
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"Why are great things always ruined by women?"
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"would be with just Simon and Randy."
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"(chuckles)"
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"Oh, Bart, you say that now."
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"Now you stay here and I'll get your sister."
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"(gasps)"
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"What the...?!"
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"Where's all your Krusty stuff?"
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"Right through that magical door."
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"You're Krusty the Clown."
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"of 1958."
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"My day is over, kid."
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"D'oh!"
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"That's it. I've hit rock-bottom."
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"I mean, now. Ow!"
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"Let me start by getting out of the Dumpster."
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"tape Gary Larson cartoons on their workstations."
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"Gary Larson."
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"until I got the call from Capital City Nuclear,"
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"Gary, why don't you whip up an instant classic"
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"(New York accent): Where are you? Where?"
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"You're not even in Nassau County anymore. You're in Suffolk."
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"Look, look, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
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"You're going the wrong way."
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"(knocking) Hold on."
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"Now see here, Little Miss Scene Stealer,"
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"(New York accent): Krusty, there's something I have to tell you."
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"No, no! Let me finish:"
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"I work like I drink: alone."
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"That way, if I pass out, he turns me on my side so..."
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"You what?!"
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"I have loved you since I was a 12-year-old girl,"
The Simpsons
"in Mineola, Long Island, watching your show."
The Simpsons
"WDQT?"
The Simpsons
"They had this fat, pathetic station manager."
The Simpsons
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