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Clips from Scrubs - My Turf War (S06E06)

Come on, Elliot. Let me just borrow it for the weekend.

"Come on, Elliot. Let me just borrow it for the weekend."

Scrubs

Whenever he goes away, he always wants to take my tushie.

"Whenever he goes away, he always wants to take my tushie."

Scrubs

Whenever we're apart, I always get so bummed.

"Whenever we're apart, I always get so bummed."

Scrubs

Let's see if he wants to play Macaroni.

"Let's see if he wants to play Macaroni."

Scrubs

But the pain starts here

"But the pain starts here"

Scrubs

I'm gonna head out now, Lloyd.

"I'm gonna head out now, Lloyd."

Scrubs

I call next on Macaroni.

"I call next on Macaroni."

Scrubs

Dr. Kelso, would you mind using your gum

"Dr. Kelso, would you mind using your gum"

Scrubs

You know, you really cheered me up today.

"You know, you really cheered me up today."

Scrubs

Oh, that's too bad.

"Oh, that's too bad."

Scrubs

I saw Elliot's friend first.

"I saw Elliot's friend first."

Scrubs

Elliot?

"Elliot?"

Scrubs

Why?

"Why?"

Scrubs

(BOTH SCREAMING)

"(BOTH SCREAMING)"

Scrubs

Show them the picture of Izzy!

"Show them the picture of Izzy!"

Scrubs

(BOTH SCREAMING)

"(BOTH SCREAMING)"

Scrubs

Hey, what's the deal with Elliot's friend?

"Hey, what's the deal with Elliot's friend?"

Scrubs

Welcome to Turk's Booty Breakdown.

"Welcome to Turk's Booty Breakdown."

Scrubs

J.D., I gotta tell you, I'm a huge fan of this chick.

"J.D., I gotta tell you, I'm a huge fan of this chick."

Scrubs

She seems smart, fun, and she's got a little bit of a wild streak.

"She seems smart, fun, and she's got a little bit of a wild streak."

Scrubs

I'm single.

"I'm single."

Scrubs

Why don't people dance the Bus Driver anymore?

"Why don't people dance the Bus Driver anymore?"

Scrubs

For us honkeys, it's a very important dance.

"For us honkeys, it's a very important dance."

Scrubs

Good-time Sally who gave it away for free?

"Good-time Sally who gave it away for free?"

Scrubs

and then make him take her wherever she wanted to go.

"and then make him take her wherever she wanted to go."

Scrubs

Yes!

"Yes!"

Scrubs

- Go on! - Okay.

"- Go on! - Okay."

Scrubs

(GROANING)

"(GROANING)"

Scrubs

Grill Face's name was just Steve.

"Grill Face's name was just Steve."

Scrubs

Why does this bed sheet have two holes in it?

"Why does this bed sheet have two holes in it?"

Scrubs

(WHISTLES)

"(WHISTLES)"

Scrubs

Yo, Mickhead, incoming.

"Yo, Mickhead, incoming."

Scrubs

That is a double-bypass heart patient with a ruptured spleen on the side.

"That is a double-bypass heart patient with a ruptured spleen on the side."

Scrubs

I could do a bypass like... Done!

"I could do a bypass like... Done!"

Scrubs

Hell, if I screw with Mickhead,

"Hell, if I screw with Mickhead,"

Scrubs

he'll send me every bowel obstruction he gets.

"he'll send me every bowel obstruction he gets."

Scrubs

In fact, I'm going to stop talking right in the middle of whatever I'm...

"In fact, I'm going to stop talking right in the middle of whatever I'm..."

Scrubs

You want a patient?

"You want a patient?"

Scrubs

Hey, weren't we in an air band together?

"Hey, weren't we in an air band together?"

Scrubs

Maybe.

"Maybe."

Scrubs

(DRUMS PLAYING)

"(DRUMS PLAYING)"

Scrubs

Let's hit the town later. I wanna roll with Nancy again.

"Let's hit the town later. I wanna roll with Nancy again."

Scrubs

Who?

"Who?"

Scrubs

Because that would make me so bummed. I mean,

"Because that would make me so bummed. I mean,"

Scrubs

I thought that I'd done so much work with all...

"I thought that I'd done so much work with all..."

Scrubs

Easy, Jenji.

"Easy, Jenji."

Scrubs

J.D.: She didn't do that for you.

"J.D.: She didn't do that for you."

Scrubs

Hey, you can tag along if you want.

"Hey, you can tag along if you want."

Scrubs

"Tag along"?

""Tag along"?"

Scrubs

I'd love to.

"I'd love to."

Scrubs

Okay, there's nothing wrong with you, Lloyd.

"Okay, there's nothing wrong with you, Lloyd."

Scrubs

Your enzymes are negative, you have a normal echo.

"Your enzymes are negative, you have a normal echo."

Scrubs

Well, my uncle was shot in the heart.

"Well, my uncle was shot in the heart."

Scrubs

Okay, that helps.

"Okay, that helps."

Scrubs

But now the Ghost That Hates Spills is going to come.

"But now the Ghost That Hates Spills is going to come."

Scrubs

Just like yours.

"Just like yours."

Scrubs

Okay, this ends now.

"Okay, this ends now."

Scrubs

Do you know how messy kids can be,

"Do you know how messy kids can be,"

Scrubs

and how clean this place has been ever since

"and how clean this place has been ever since"

Scrubs

Yeah, I know it's a little bit trampy, but what the hell, so am I.

"Yeah, I know it's a little bit trampy, but what the hell, so am I."

Scrubs

- You want to think about it? - What?

"- You want to think about it? - What?"

Scrubs

Well, this is fun.

"Well, this is fun."

Scrubs

He was turfed back to you from surgery with endocarditis.

"He was turfed back to you from surgery with endocarditis."

Scrubs

(CARLA CHUCKLES)

"(CARLA CHUCKLES)"

Scrubs

Yeah, dude.

"Yeah, dude."

Scrubs

It's okay, I'll walk myself back.

"It's okay, I'll walk myself back."

Scrubs

Heads up!

"Heads up!"

Scrubs

I've convinced young Lloyd in there

"I've convinced young Lloyd in there"

Scrubs

that the arm pain that he thought was a heart attack

"that the arm pain that he thought was a heart attack"

Scrubs

J.D.: As I kissed Melody, knowing we were headed somewhere amazing...

"J.D.: As I kissed Melody, knowing we were headed somewhere amazing..."

Scrubs

No, no, no. We're just macking, right back in.

"No, no, no. We're just macking, right back in."

Scrubs

that you haven't changed since college.

"that you haven't changed since college."

Scrubs

Now it's really over.

"Now it's really over."

Scrubs

You said it was arm pain, so I operated on his arm.

"You said it was arm pain, so I operated on his arm."

Scrubs

to get back at her.

"to get back at her."

Scrubs

Or you can say nothing.

"Or you can say nothing."

Scrubs

Thanks, I'd like that.

"Thanks, I'd like that."

Scrubs

Boo.

"Boo."

Scrubs

there's things you can do and things you cannot do.

"there's things you can do and things you cannot do."

Scrubs

just to unload an annoying patient.

"just to unload an annoying patient."

Scrubs

I don't know. I didn't check.

"I don't know. I didn't check."

Scrubs

Dr. Turkleberry, can you please explain to me

"Dr. Turkleberry, can you please explain to me"

Scrubs

Better yet, you can tell it to the ethics committee later on today.

"Better yet, you can tell it to the ethics committee later on today."

Scrubs

(JUKEBOX STOPS ABRUPTLY)

"(JUKEBOX STOPS ABRUPTLY)"

Scrubs

I don't even know why you're mad.

"I don't even know why you're mad."

Scrubs

but if you'd like me to be more specific,

"but if you'd like me to be more specific,"

Scrubs

which is actually preventing me from what I was originally trying to do.

"which is actually preventing me from what I was originally trying to do."

Scrubs

I never asked him to operate on that guy.

"I never asked him to operate on that guy."

Scrubs

What horrible thing did Turk do to piss you off in the first place?

"What horrible thing did Turk do to piss you off in the first place?"

Scrubs

Well, if he didn't apologize for that, let me do it for him.

"Well, if he didn't apologize for that, let me do it for him."

Scrubs

You know what? I should probably go. It's late.

"You know what? I should probably go. It's late."

Scrubs

(JUKEBOX STOPS ABRUPTLY)

"(JUKEBOX STOPS ABRUPTLY)"

Scrubs

No? Okay.

"No? Okay."

Scrubs

Wow, you guys can stare an awfully long time

"Wow, you guys can stare an awfully long time"

Scrubs

Thank you, Frank. I will pay cash.

"Thank you, Frank. I will pay cash."

Scrubs

Ben Franklin, here, should take care of things.

"Ben Franklin, here, should take care of things."

Scrubs

A $ 100 bill.

"A $ 100 bill."

Scrubs

No. All right, you know what?

"No. All right, you know what?"

Scrubs

I like you, you're a good barman.

"I like you, you're a good barman."

Scrubs

Good night.

"Good night."

Scrubs

That's like 10 'tinis, with a tip!

"That's like 10 'tinis, with a tip!"

Scrubs

Actually, that's a beard.

"Actually, that's a beard."

Scrubs

that was, frankly, light on the 'tini.

"that was, frankly, light on the 'tini."

Scrubs

All right. Good night.

"All right. Good night."

Scrubs

Okay. Keep that, too.

"Okay. Keep that, too."

Scrubs

What is it, Perry?

"What is it, Perry?"

Scrubs

Bob,

"Bob,"

Scrubs

But I need you to let him off the hook.

"But I need you to let him off the hook."

Scrubs

Because I pushed him into it, okay?

"Because I pushed him into it, okay?"

Scrubs

or better yet, because he's a good surgeon.

"or better yet, because he's a good surgeon."

Scrubs

LLOYD: What's that thing?

"LLOYD: What's that thing?"

Scrubs

You tricked me?

"You tricked me?"

Scrubs

I couldn't have done it without my supporting players.

"I couldn't have done it without my supporting players."

Scrubs

you know him, you love to hate him,

"you know him, you love to hate him,"

Scrubs

Don't mess with me ever again.

"Don't mess with me ever again."

Scrubs

We used to be so close

"We used to be so close"

Scrubs

and it just doesn't feel like we are anymore.

"and it just doesn't feel like we are anymore."

Scrubs

Then we'll both try harder.

"Then we'll both try harder."

Scrubs

Take me over to them.

"Take me over to them."

Scrubs

J.D.: I guess all relationships have to evolve.

"J.D.: I guess all relationships have to evolve."

Scrubs

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