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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Santa Simulation (S06E06)

"if she's willing to bring another eight to the hot tub."
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"Bottom line: you'll take"
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"any woman who'll have you, right?"
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"In a New Delhi minute."
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"Oh, uh, yeah."
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"I got 'em on Amazon."
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"Why support a friend"
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"when you can support a multinational conglomerate"
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"I know, but when I shop online, I can do it on the toilet."
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"Have you seen my store?"
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"The whole place is a toilet."
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"C-Can we please move this along?"
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"Yeah, sorry."
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"Uh, you come to the end of the tunnel"
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"What do you do?"
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"(mimicking): "I feel up the large chest.""
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"Great. What do you do?"
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"bury my face in it and go (motorboat noises)."
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"I open the chest."
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"and now the walls of the room start closing in."
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"That's not good."
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"My character and I both have claustrophobia."
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"Glowing letters appear on the chest that read,"
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""If squashed to death you wish not to be,"
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"Oh, boy, happy place, happy place."
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"You're ten seconds away from getting crushed!"
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"Nine, eight..."
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"What are we supposed to do?"
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"...seven, six... Wait, wait."
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"Svaty Vaclav is better known as Good King Wenceslas"
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"Never heard of it."
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"Must be the one Christmas song not written by a Jewish guy."
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"♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪"
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"♪ On the feast of Stephen"
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"♪ When the snow lay 'round about ♪"
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"The walls are getting slower."
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"♪ Brightly shone the moon that night ♪"
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"♪ When a poor man came in sight ♪"
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"♪ Gath'ring winter fu-el"
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"The walls stop! You're safe!"
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"That was amazing, Sheldon."
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"about Bohemia with the memory of my grandparents,"
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"Mee-Maw and Pop-Pop, singing Christmas carols"
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"while I sat in front of the fire and tried to build"
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"a high-energy particle accelerator out of Legos."
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"Okay, continuing our quest."
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"W-W-Wait."
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"There's still four more verses."
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"You don't sing a song and not finish it."
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"♪ Hither, page, and stand by me ♪"
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"♪ If thou know'st it, telling ♪"
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"♪ Where and what his dwelling?"
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"Looks like he's doing pretty good."
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"Look, that girl just got dumped by her boyfriend."
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"She's angry, she's drunk,"
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"and her favorite movie is Slumdog Millionaire."
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"I mean..."
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"So, how'd it go? Great."
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"and she gave me her e-mail address."
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""Jennifer@not-even-if-you-were- the-last-guy-on-earth.loser"""
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"I'm sorry, Raj."
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"I'm smart, I've got a cool job,"
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"Oh, honey, it's not you, it's them."
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"Why would you say that? It's true."
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"I'm always attracted to women I can't have."
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"I don't understand."
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"Well, uh, there was a time when I had a thing for Penny,"
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"But apparently I misread those signals."
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"And you liked Bernadette also?"
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"That was before Penny."
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"one of my friends' girlfriends at a time."
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"So at, uh, some point,"
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"you probably had a thing for me, too."
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"Not that I can think of."
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"Think harder."
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"I mean, at all."
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"What?"
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"♪ Ye who now will bless the poor ♪"
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"♪ Shall yourselves find blessing ♪"
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"♪ Ba-da-bum."
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"Done?"
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"I think the word you're looking for is "bravo.""
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"Okay, you leave the room and find yourself"
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"standing before a pool of melted snowmen."
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"Melted snowmen?"
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"Are there carrots and lumps of coal in the water?"
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"standing before a pool of melted snowmen."
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"There are carrots and lumps of coal in the water."
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"(stutters) What happened to the top hats and the corncob pipes?"
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"You see those, too."
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"Oh, it's like I'm really there."
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"I gotta tell you, this-this is the most holiday fun I've had"
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"since my therapist changed my anxiety medication"
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"and I stopped caring about the blood in my stool."
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"What are you drinking there?"
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"What, is there a problem?"
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"No, it's nice to see you enjoying a holiday beverage."
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"Pretty Christmasy."
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"Eggs are available all year 'round."
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"I've been known to enjoy this poolside."
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"You know all the Christmas stories, and the carols,"
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"you've got an eggnog mustache going on there."
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"Just admit it."
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"You're getting a little Yuletide spirit."
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"Christmas is a bunch of baloney created by the tinsel industry."
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"Honestly, because I had enough crappy Christmases as a kid"
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"What was so bad about them?"
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"I grew up in a house full of crazy academics."
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"Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies,"
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"And in the morning, you could tell he'd been there"
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"because the paper would be graded."
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"I got a C-minus four years in a row."
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"Amy, I'm really sorry."
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"I didn't mean to upset you."
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"and the guy only did it so I'd give him back his insulin."
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"Sometimes the pancreas wants what the pancreas wants."
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"Forget it."
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"I don't expect you guys to understand."
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"and it landed on Alina Shankar."
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"She said if I came near her,"
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