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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Codpiece Topology (S02E02)

"...l'm going to go do work that promises significant results..."
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"...as opposed to what you do, which does not."
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"Yeah, you heard me."
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"Wow."
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"So I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground..."
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"...like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory."
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""Like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory," yep."
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"Anyway, it got me thinking."
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"Are you suggesting another bout of stress release?"
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"No, I'm all done with casual sex."
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"I'm fully committed to the traditional relationship paradigm."
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"Really? What changed?"
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"...with a bunch of people she doesn't know."
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"Anyway, I just figure it's time to slow things down..."
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"...and who better to slow things down with than you?"
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"I'm flattered."
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"- Sounds fun. - I'll leave the details up to you."
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"I think it's better if you assume the male role."
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"Thank you, that's very thoughtful."
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"Call me."
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"Hey, great news. My mom sent me my old Nintendo 64."
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"- Terrific. - You know what this means, don't you?"
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"Break out the Red Bull. It's time to rock "Mario" old school."
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"- I kind of have other plans tonight. - But it's Friday."
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"Friday's always vintage-game night. Look, Mom included the memory card."
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"We can pick up right where I left off in 1999 when I had pernicious anemia."
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"The thing is, someone's coming over."
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"Well, no problem. I have three controllers. The more the merrier."
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"Sheldon, it's a date. I have a date coming over."
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"Oh."
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"Well, you can't blame me for not jumping to that conclusion."
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"- Well, statistically speaking-- - All right, all right."
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"Nevertheless, I have one now..."
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"...and I'd appreciate it if you would, you know, make yourself scarce."
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"I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates..."
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"- You want me to leave the apartment? - Yes."
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"You mean just go someplace else and be..."
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"...someplace else?"
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"- Yes. - But why should I leave?"
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"- This is my apartment too. - I know it is."
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"If science ever discovers a second member of your species..."
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"...and you two would like some privacy, I'd be happy to get out of your way."
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"Sheldon? What are you doing?"
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"Playing "Super Mario" on a poorly coded Nintendo 64 emulator."
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"I am a modern-day Napoleon exiled to the Elba of the staircase..."
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"...because Leonard, get this, has a date."
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"Oh. Oh, well, good for him."
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"Alone?"
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"- Yeah, why not? - What if I choke on my popcorn?"
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"Who will administer the Heimlich maneuver?"
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"- Then don't order popcorn. - No popcorn at the mov--?"
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"- Why don't you go to a coffee shop? - I don't drink coffee."
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"- What do they have? - I don't know. You know, cookies, pastries--"
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"- Pastries such as bear claws? - Yeah, sure."
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"Hey, Penny. Dumb-ass."
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"Leslie Winkle."
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"...why does it have to be Leslie Winkle?"
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"Please. The only way she could make a contribution to science..."
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"...would be if they resumed sending chimps into space."
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"Even you, Mario, going after Princess Peach."
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"And what am I doing? I'm just enabling you."
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"- This is pretty good orange chicken. - Yeah, it's from Chang's."
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"- What happened to Chow's? - It changed."
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"So how many children do you think we should have?"
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"I'm sorry, that was a little abrupt."
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"Besides shortness, what genetic weaknesses run in your family?"
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"I'm sorry to interrupt. Battery's dying. Continue."
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"Uh, genetic weaknesses, right. Um, there's the lactose intolerance."
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"Okay, yeah, my uncles are bald..."
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"...but my Aunt Edna is one of the hairiest women you'll ever meet, so, you know...."
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"He can be a bit of an eccentric."
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"If by "eccentric" ..."
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"...you mean "passive-aggressive East Texas blowhole," I agree."
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"Me too. You're sure you're okay postponing intercourse..."
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"...until our relationship is past the initial viability test?"
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"No problem. I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse."
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"I guess I'll call you and we'll arrange another evening."
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"No, it wasn't my cat."
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"It was an experiment designed by this guy named Schrödinger."
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"No, he was some kind of scientist. Let me start again."
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"- Oh, hey, Leonard. - Hello."
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"Okay, well, good night."
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"That ain't gonna make your point."
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"Call me."
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"Well, okay, good night."
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"- What? - Had a great time. Ciao."
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"I'm sorry, I am not going back to the Renaissance fair."
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"Come on, Sheldon."
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"I don't care. There are far too many historical anomalies for my comfort."
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"Oh, okay, how about this?"
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"Sure."
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"Fascinating."
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"Why don't we move there so Leslie can join us?"
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"Yeah, let's do it."
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"If you're having trouble deciding where to sit..."
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"...or as I call it, the Leslie Winkle Experimental Methodology."
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"...or you can sit with an overrated scientist you might have sex with."
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"You're right, it is simple."
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"- Hey, Sheldon. - Penny."
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"Third floor tonight. Mixing it up?"
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"All right, let's say I go to dinner alone..."
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"Good night, Sheldon."
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"You sure things can't work out with you and Leonard?"
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"Excuse me?"
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"I'm just wondering if you really gave it the old college try."
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"- Your archenemy? - Yes, the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic."
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"The Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man."
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"It's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees."
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"Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out."
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"Sheldon, come back. You're losing me."
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"She called me "dumb-ass.""
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"I know, I heard."
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"Given the situation..."
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"...to your ill-considered relationship with Leonard."
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"Oh, gee, well, thank you for that."
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"No. That response is unacceptable to me."
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"Wait a minute. Why am I doing all the giving here?"
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"...why doesn't he have to support me in my hatred of Leslie Winkle?"
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"Because love trumps hate."
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"...to your desire to have a relationship with Leslie."
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