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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Codpiece Topology (S02E02)

"Now, her costume was obviously Germanic..."
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"The flagons would not have been made of polypropylene."
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"They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's..."
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"- We should probably go. - Yeah."
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"Penny with a new guy. Très awkward."
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"Relatively modern."
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"What are you wearing?"
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"Borrowed?"
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"You know, I'm happy that Penny's moving on."
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"Are you saying that you've been holding back?"
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"Of course. Out of respect."
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"Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary:"
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"- Dude, you have totally not moved on. - Yes, I have."
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"- I think she's smoking hot. - I'd hit that."
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"And he told me his name was Kimberly."
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"- Yeah, sure. - Well, if you'll excuse me..."
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"- Where'd you hear that? - Actually, I read it. Wolowitz texted me."
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"Yeah, I thought it was a pretty good one. I gave him an "LOL.""
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"...when she gets tired of waking up on a futon..."
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"So how do you suggest we proceed?"
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"Your place. We'll order Chinese. You'll rent a movie, artsy but accessible."
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"Oh."
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"Why? What's so unusual about me having a date?"
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"...and an IQ which can't be measured by normal tests."
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"You know what I mean. Could you just give us a little privacy?"
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"But why are you doing it on the stairs?"
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"Of all the overrated physicists in all the labs in all the world..."
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"Well, they have a lot in common. I mean, they're both scientists."
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"Okay, well, I have a date too, so I'll see you."
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"Everybody has a date."
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"A little."
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"There are so many things to talk about before reproduction."
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"I sure hope so."
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"Sweet lady. It always tickles when she hugs me."
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"I'm sorry about all of Sheldon's interruptions."
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"I believe protocol dictates that you wait a minimum of 18 hours..."
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"...before you call so I'm not repulsed by your cloying eagerness."
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"From the Charlie Brown cartoons?"
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"Okay, okay, that's enough."
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"You can go dressed as a Star Trek science officer..."
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"...exploring a planet similar to Earth in the 1500s."
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"You mean like Spock?"
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"- Hey, fellow scientists. Sheldon. - Mm."
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"...I suggest One Potato, Two Potato..."
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"- Don't make this hard for me. - It's not hard. It's simple."
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"Oh."
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"...and during the meal I have to use the restroom."
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"How do I know someone's not touching my food?"
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"Penny, hold on."
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"Okay, where is this coming from?"
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"Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy."
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"But, um, I think for now Leonard and I are just gonna stay friends."
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"- You are a smart guy. You must know-- - I'm smart?"
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"Okay, let me put it this way. If you're Leonard's friend..."
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"...you will support him no matter who he wants to be with."
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"Oh, now you're just making stuff up."
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"You kids have fun."
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"...or ever get a good view of a parade."
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"Look on the bright side."
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"Worst Renaissance fair ever."
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"It was rife with historical inaccuracies."
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"For example, the tavern girl serving flagons of mead."
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"...severely limited the availability of mead."
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"At best, they would've had some spiced wine."
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"Well, here's another nit for you."
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"...and lacing them up in corsets so tight..."
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"...their bosom jumps out and says, "Howdy.""
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"Bosoms would not have said, "Howdy," in the 15th century."
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"If anything, they would've said, "Huzzah.""
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"I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon."
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"I just wanna be part of the conversation."
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"Hi, guys."
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"Looks like you've been to the Renaissance fair."
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"Renaissance fair?"
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"More of a medieval-slash- Age of Enlightenment..."
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"...slash- any-excuse-to-wear-a-codpiece fair."
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"- Hello. - Hey."
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"So, yeah, good to see you."
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"Yeah. Yeah, it's good to see you too."
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"Thanks, my mom made it."
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"It wasn't awkward."
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"It wasn't fun. Besides, what's the big deal?"
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"We dated, we stopped dating, and now we're both moving on."
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"By "moving on," you mean she's going out with other men..."
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"...and you spend the afternoon making 15th-century soap with Wolowitz?"
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"That was not 15th-century soap."
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"My god, those people need to learn you can't just put "ye olde" ..."
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"...in front of anything you want and expect to get away with it."
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"Can we please just go in? My chain mail's stuck in my underwear."
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"You're wearing modern underwear?"
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"I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen."
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"You went and bought linen?"
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"Don't be silly. I borrowed one of your pillowcases."
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"It gives me freedom to move on myself."
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"What? I've dated plenty of women."
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"The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two.""
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"What happens in costume at Comic-Con stays at Comic-Con."
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"How did we get on me? We were mocking Leonard."
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"It's just a matter of actually making a date with someone."
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"- Like who? - Well, there's Joyce Kim."
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"But she defected back to North Korea..."
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"...so it's a little geographically undesirable."
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"- What about Leslie Winkle? - Oh, no."
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"- Why? - Her research methodology is sloppy..."
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"...she's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity..."
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"...and to make matters worse, she's often mean to me."
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"You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension."
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"Mud."
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"Look, I like Leslie, but she's not interested in dating..."
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"...as much as using men as tools for stress release."
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"Yeah? So? Be a tool."
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"Go get yourself a little rebound stress release."
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"It would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy."
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"You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?"
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"I bought him dinner and we kissed once. That was it."
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"If we were, the food would be better."
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"- Hey, Leslie. - Hey, dummy."
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"Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person."
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"Ooh, rush me to the Burn Unit."
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"Do you have a second? I need to ask you something."
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