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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer's Night Out (S01E01)

"Okay, Eugene."
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"One last taste of bachelor freedom."
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"Presenting Princess Kashmir,"
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"queen of the mysterious East."
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"Now this is what I call a party."
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"How do I tell you this, my boy? We're in hell."
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"Look at him squirm."
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"Go for it, Homer!"
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"Shake his buns."
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"I'm sorry. I don't usually laugh like this."
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"Ai, caramba. Wow, man."
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"Oh, this is the most fun I've ever had in my life."
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"The meeting of the Future Photographers of America is now in session."
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"Who's the sexy lady, Bart?"
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"Beats me. But the guy dancing with her is my pop."
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"- Wow! - He brings to mind the later work of Diane Arbus."
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"Bart, I'd really appreciate a print of your masterwork."
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"- Me too. - Yeah, come on."
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"Sorry, guys. No can do."
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"Come on, Bart. You're gonna make me a print, aren't you?"
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"Will you swear not to let another living soul get a copy of this photo?"
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"- Okay. Yep. - Cross your heart and hope to die?"
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"- Stick a needle in your eye? Jam a dagger in your thigh? - Yep. Yep."
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"Eat a horse manure pie?"
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"- Yep. - Well, okay."
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"- Pst. Look what I got. - Whoa. I gotta have a copy of that."
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"- Sorry. - Aw, come on."
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"Well, okay."
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"Son, why are you wasting your time with this sleazy trash?"
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"Sorry, Dad."
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"Wait till I show the guys at work this little doozy."
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"Mike, this is Al."
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"Just wanted to thank you for the "informative memo" you faxed me."
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"from one of the boys in the choir."
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"Why this sheep has strayed from my own flock. His name's--"
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"Homer Simpson, sir, a low-level employee..."
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"- in sector 7-G. - Simpson, huh?"
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"- A family man? - Wife and three kids, sir."
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"You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?"
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"Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone."
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"Oh. Liberty Bell."
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"Another Liberty Bell!"
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"One more and I'm a millionaire."
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"Come on, Liberty Bell, please, please, please."
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"D'oh! That purple fruit thing."
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"- What do you want, pal? - Hey mister."
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"Do, do, do, do, do"
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"Do dee do dee do"
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"Well, a "do dee do dee do" to you too, pint size."
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"Jeez, you get a lot of nutcases in here."
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"Oh, sir, I've seen things you can't imagine."
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"- Hey, hey, hey. - I hear you, buddy."
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"Whew. Full moon."
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"Hmm. Still got it."
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"Meaningless, Marge. Don't even attempt to find meaning in it."
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"There's nothing between me and Princess Kashmir."
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"- Princess who? - Hey, my photo."
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"- Your photo? - Uh-oh."
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"- Why you little-- - Why you big--"
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"- Bart, go to your room. - I'm out of here."
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"- Look, Marge, honey, baby, doll, I-- - Homer,"
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"I don't even want to look at you right now."
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"What are you saying, honey?"
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"- But where will I sleep? - My suggestion..."
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"is for you to sleep in the filth you created."
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"Here. If you have any soul left, you'll need these."
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"I know I will."
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"What's the matter, Homer? Hottest ladies' night in months..."
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"- and you're not even checking out the action. - Oh, Moe."
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"My wife gave me the old heave ho because of some lousy picture."
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"- So, uh, where are you staying tonight, Homer? - Motel, I guess."
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"Oh, no. No pal of mine is gonna stay..."
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"in some dingy flophouse."
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"Ah."
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"If you get hungry in the middle of the night,"
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"there's an open beer in the fridge."
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"Look, Barney. See the row of tiny lights up there?"
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"The middle one is my house."
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"Someone must have left the porch light on."
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"Hey that's rough, pal."
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"Hello, Marge."
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"- You left your damn porch light on. - Barney!"
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"- You left your damn porch light on. - Barney!"
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"Homer's not made of money, you know."
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"- Oh, it's you. - Oh."
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"Homer, you're overwrought."
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"Why don't you unwind a bit?"
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"Party down the hall."
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"You know, this apartment complex caters..."
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"to upscale young singles like me."
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"I wonder when Dad's coming home."
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"Homer Simpson."
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"Homer Simpson. Report at once to Mr. Burns' office."
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"Oh, no."
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"What in blue blazes do you think you're doing, Simpson?"
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"like an oversexed orangutan in heat."
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"This is a family nuclear powerplant, Simpson."
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"is used by women."
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"I will not have you offending my customers with your bawdy shenanigans."
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"- May I get out of your sight now? - Just a second, Simpson."
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"Smithers, would you leave the room for a minute?"
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"Yes, sir."
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"Simpson,"
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"I am by most measures a successful man."
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"I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk."
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"And yet, I've led a solitay life."
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"The fair sex remains a mystery to me."
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"You seem to have a way with women, a certain--"
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"how shall I put it--"
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"Help me, Simpson."
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"Tell me your secret."
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"Uh, Mr. Burns, in spite of what everybody thinks,"
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"I'm no lover boy."
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"Simpson, I'm asking you nicely."
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"- I don't really know, sir. - Simpson!"
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"Well, I wine them, I..."
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"dine them, bring them flowers,"
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"write them love poetry, sir."
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"Of course."
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"It's simplicity itself."
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