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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer's Night Out (S01E01)

"and he really made an ass of himself..."
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"putting the moves on the new girl in Valve Maintenance."
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"Does this girl like him?"
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"You're not a blimp, Homer."
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"Oh. Don't strain yourself, dear."
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"Eugene Fisk is marrying some girl in Valve Maintenance."
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"I wonder if it really works."
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"- Oh, Bart. - What?"
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"- Ahoy, this place bites. - Bart."
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"With extra tentacles, please."
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"Open the door and lie on the floor said Barnacle Bill the sailor"
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"There you are. For the baby."
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"And one squidplatter, extra tentacles."
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"- You care to dance? - She wants you, Homer."
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"We would like to welcome our new member, Bart Simpson."
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"Whoa. People, people. Don't applaud. Let's get to work."
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"My goodness. Quite exciting."
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"- Extremely sensual. - The subtle gray tones recall the work of Helmut Newton."
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"Aw. Oh."
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"- I thought I was your friend too. - Well, okay."
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"I'd like to see our self-styled Valentino tomorrow morning, Smithers."
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"One glazed and one Scratch-'N-Win, please."
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"- Where were you yesterday? - Hey, hey. Looking good."
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"Would a motel be okay?"
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"- Who is this? - Don't listen to him, Marge. He's--"
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"- What do you mean, sir? - I mean this."
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"A plant employee carrying on..."
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"Our research indicates that over 50 percent of our power..."
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"animal magnetism."
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"I won't forget this, Simpson."
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"Look, I'm not drinking out of the carton."
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"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
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"Yes, I do. Because I'm hungry,"
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"Okay. Your wish is my command, my little--"
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"Oh, that's a good idea."
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"Forget that."
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"I'm teaching my boy a lesson. Is she here or not?"
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"Uh, try Mud City."
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"Bart! I said look at the floor."
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"Get your hands off."
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"A new romance"
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"And every girl a twin"
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"Hey, it's the guy from the picture."
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"- Homer Simpson! - Sorry, partner."
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"Heh. Hey."
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"Wait a minute. Stop the music."
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"and how they are not mere objects with curves that make us crazy."
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"And you know something, folks? As ridiculous as this sounds,"
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"- Homer. - Marge."
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"Come on. Only sick people want to see my folks kiss."
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"So, how was the office birthday party?"
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"Oh, it was delightful."
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"didn't know the fruit punch was spiked..."
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"I have to warn you, Marge,"
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"I think the poor young thing has the hots for yours truly."
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"Homer."
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"Just keeping you on your toes, babe."
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"Two hundred and thirty nine pounds! Oh, I'm a blimp."
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"Why are all the good things so tasty?"
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"You're my big cuddly teddy bear."
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"Aw, baloney. Yeah, right."
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"Oh, give me a break."
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"Wow, cool, man!"
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"Two hundred and thirty nine pounds?"
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"I'm a whale."
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"Why was I cursed with this weakness for snack treats?"
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"Well, from now on, exercise every morning, Homer."
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"Good idea, Marge."
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"By the way, this Friday night..."
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"I'm gonna be attending a little get together with the boys at work."
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"Homer, is this some kind of stag party?"
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"No, no, Marge. It's gonna be very classy."
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"A tea-and-crumpets kind of thing."
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"Eugene Fisk. Isn't he your assistant?"
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"- No! My supervisor. - Didn't he used to be your assistant?"
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"- What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? - Sorry, Homer."
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"- Uh-oh, it's the "fe-mailman.""
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"Female carrier, Bart."
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"- "Where's my spy camera?" - Where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera, lady?"
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"- Evey day for the last six months-- - Where's my spy camera?"
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"Where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera?"
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"Here's your stupid spy camera!"
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"Oh. Thanks, ma'am."
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"Whoa, man. Look at the size of this thing."
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"'Cause I got a lot of spying to do."
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"Bart! What are you doing?"
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"Go take some wildlife pictures or something."
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"Ew, gross."
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"Mom, Bart was taking a picture of his butt."
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"Oh, sure. Like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt."
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"Stop it, you two. And put on some nice clothes."
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"Since it's just the four of us tonight,"
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"- we're having dinner at The Rusty Barnacle. - Yea, fried shrimp!"
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"Only four of us? Who escaped?"
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"Your father. He's having a boys' night out."
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"Just as I was asking myself,"
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""Where did my seven-year-old boy get the money..."
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"for a Father's Day present?""
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"I opened the box."
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"And inside was little Eugene's baseball glove."
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"He had given me the one thing..."
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"Eugene, when I see you-- the one thing that matters most to me in the whole world--"
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"married tomorrow,"
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"I'm going to know just how you felt that day."
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"- I love you, Dad. - I love you, son."
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"Where am I, the planet Cornball?"
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"- Ooh, entertainment. - Yes, sir."
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"Ahoy! I spy the children's menu."
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"So, what's it gonna be, me little bucko?"
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"Hm, let's see."
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"This evening I shall go for the..."
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"The party next door seems to be a little raucous."
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"Could you please ask them to quiet down a little bit, please?"
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"Aye, aye."
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"Hey, try to keep it down, guys."
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"Hmm."
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"Here you go."
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"- Bart, quit fooling around and eat your dinner. - Yeah, eat it, Bart."
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"Ugh. May I please be excused for a minute?"
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"Okay, but don't dawdle. Your food will get cold."
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