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Clips from The Office - The Carpet (S02E02)

"What is it?"
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"Michael, I gotta get out of here. I can't hold my breath that long."
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"It smelled terrible."
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"Oh, no..."
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"Hey, guys. Somebody making soup?"
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"Total permeation."
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"I am a big Fear Factor fan."
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"I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually."
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"I can't stand it. I can't stay in here another second."
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"Hey. Welcome back. Thanks!"
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"So, how was the resort? Did you ski a lot? A little."
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"What? I did not do that."
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"It wasn't me."
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"Wow."
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"Oh, it's..."
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"There's definitely a desk open in the back. Yeah."
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"Which I guess I'll be taking."
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"Are you moving back here?"
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"Just for the day, while Michael's at my desk."
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"Because Toby used to sit there,"
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"The old bullpen. Don't ape me."
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"Okay."
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"And who had your office?"
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"Ed Truck."
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"Start pretending to do work."
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"You know what? I swore to myself"
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"that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager,"
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"people would laugh when they saw me coming"
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"and would applaud as I walked away."
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"I'm serious. My closet doors will not shut."
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"'Cause aren't all hangers, like, that big?"
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"So I don't understand why the closet engineer didn't think of that."
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"So now I'm doing this new thing"
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"You know who used to sit at that desk?"
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"That guy Miles, who quit to form his own company?"
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"Todd Packer. No."
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"He was, but"
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"that desk was empty. He'd come in and sit there sometimes."
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"When I was in training, many years ago, not so long ago,"
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"And together we rocked the office."
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"Excuse me one second, please?"
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"What is it that you need right now that can't wait"
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"until I'm off the phone with a customer?"
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"Okay."
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"Another time, Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like, a minute."
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"The guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired."
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"What did you hit me for? Charley horse!"
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"What? Charley horse!"
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"You shouldn't have hit me, Michael. Okay."
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"Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person,"
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"Snow cones... Hey, Jim,"
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"Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair."
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"It's the lever on the side. That's what I told him. Thanks."
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"Oh, my God, he is so cute."
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"Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me?"
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"No, I don't think I can... Oh, please, Jim. Please, please, Jim."
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"And I would do it, but I'm too shy. Please, Jim. Please, please, please."
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"Please, Jim. Please, please, please."
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"What? Old-fashioned raid. Sales on Accounting."
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"Hey, Michael. What's up?"
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"Hey, Dwight."
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"Come on, come on, come on, come on!"
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"Sales rules! Yes!"
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"Should we help them pick up their stuff?"
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"No, no, no, no. We don't do that. We don't do that."
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"You're gonna throw my things on the ground?"
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"Maybe."
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"I don't know."
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"It could be done out of hate. It could be done out of love."
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"It could be completely neutral."
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"Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady."
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"And, well, she doesn't do a very good job, obviously,"
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"because my office still reeks like you would not believe."
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"I hate her."
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"You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet"
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"was an act of terrorism against the office."
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"The only thing that makes any sense."
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"Jethro Tull... Stop it."
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"Stop it."
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"Don't."
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"We can go back in, like, a couple of weeks maybe."
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"'cause I try to go to bed at, like, 9:30. Are you kidding?"
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"No. Hi, guys."
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"We haven't finished getting things in order from your last visit."
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"I'm just walking around."
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"Were you? Well, yeah."
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"It's just that we're really swamped over here, Michael."
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"You guys just are working for the weekend, aren't you?"
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"I'm gonna up the ante a little bit, literally."
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"Right here I'm gonna put a crisp $100 bill."
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"The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash."
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"Sound good? Yeah!"
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"Seventy, eighty, one, two, three."
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"$83. Still a lot of money and I'm going to..."
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"because he is not here, and out of sight. Out of the contest."
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"It is so on! God, this is gonna be fun."
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"Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us."
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"So, you have 40 boxes going out"
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"and I will deliver those personally in a Sebring."
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"Yes!"
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"Oh! Yeah."
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"Read it and weep. Oh! Oh, look at that!"
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"What's that? What are you doing? Nothing."
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"That was definitely not dancing."
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"It was official business, so just..."
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"Is this done? Nope."
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"Extreme Home Makeover puts together a house in an hour."
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"If you were on that crew, you'd be fired like that."
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"Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet."
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"Who do you think did it? Are you kidding? I thought it was you."
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"Really? I thought you."
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"A person who works in this office. Maybe all of them."
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"You know what?"
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"Today is not a good day for a sales contest."
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"We're not doing this today."
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"I think that picking today was sort of taking advantage."
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"But you're the one who picked today. I am a victim of a hate crime."
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"That's not what a hate crime is."
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"Well, I hated it a lot, okay. I... You know what?"
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"we'd be done."
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