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Clips from Night Court - The Former Harry Stone (S01E01)

"...and destroyed the pulpit with his bare hands."
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"I went out of my mind."
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"I think I'll probably insist on it."
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"My client was provoked, Your Honor, pure and simple."
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"You see, some jokers in the pews were circulating naked photographs of the bride..."
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"...when his bride came down the aisle to the sounds of stomping and whistling..."
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"...and shouts of "Hey, mama. Hey, mama. You make me feel so good, mama.""
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""Groom Tortured by Bride in the Buff." How's that for a headline?"
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"Great. How's that for a cold sore?"
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"In the line of duty, Miss Williams, do you have those pictures?"
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"Not in my possession, Your Honor, but I believe you'll find the prosecution..."
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"...thumbing the evidence over there."
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"- Mr. Fielding. - What?"
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"Yes. Your Honor..."
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"I have no objection to the entrance into evidence..."
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"...the April, 1980 issue of Stud magazine..."
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"...and 54a."
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"- Your Honor, I object. - Oh, I don't mind."
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"Lana. The guy from records retrieval is here."
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"Wait a minute. This is sealed. Why would his personnel record be sealed?"
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"- Oh, you wanted his personnel record? - Yes. What's this?"
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"Criminal record?"
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"As far as anyone else is concerned, I don't know anything about this."
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"Wait."
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"Why don't you tell Dan. But be discreet."
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"I'm 6'8", 240, and I got no hair."
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"- Do your best. - Yeah."
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"See what I mean, Your Honor? Isn't it sickening?"
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"- I had no job. I was hungry. - Looks like you were cold too."
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"Oh, no kidding?"
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"Something you'd like to share, Mr. Fielding?"
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"No, no."
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"Your Honor, the caseload may get backed up if we don't..."
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"Get off the pot? Got it."
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"Just that you can hardly blame me, Your Honor."
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"What kind of guy wants his entire bowling team..."
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"...to know what his wife's goodies look like?"
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""Goodies"?"
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"It's a collective slang term representing five separate portions of the female anatomy."
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"Five? One, two..."
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"Mr. McKenzie, I do understand how you feel..."
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"...but the fact remains that the lady is not the one who's on trial here."
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"Whether or not she should have posed in the nude is not the point."
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"Yeah? Well, the point is..."
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"...that I wanted you all to myself, Vickie."
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"To me, your body is sacred."
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"Look, maybe I'm not too proud of those photos, okay?"
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"Maybe I was stupid to do it, but it doesn't mean..."
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"...that I'm a bad person, does it?"
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"No, of course not."
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"Hey, stuff it, rock face!"
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"- Mr. McKenzie...! - Oh, now you shut up too for a minute!"
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"Ronald, stop it! You can't go around telling people to shut up."
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"- They won't like you. - Everybody, shut up."
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"I've been standing here looking at nude pictures of my fiancée!"
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"How about all you folks go out, take a break..."
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"...and breathe into a paper bag, huh? Ten minute recess."
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"Okay, let's open this baby up, huh?"
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"- I don't know what you're talking about. - Sweetheart, I tipped the courier..."
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"...compost. You know that? - Hey."
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"I mean, garbage, slime, swill. I have been called it all."
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"...even if I have to resort to legal means."
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"Come on, sweetheart. Open up the file."
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"There is no way you're getting your slime-soaked hooks..."
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"...on the judge's record. - "Slime-soaked hooks"?"
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"It can only be opened by an officer of the court."
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"- I'm not your sweetheart. - You're dying to know..."
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"...what Judge Stone is hiding just as much as the rest of us."
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"- Who says he's hiding anything? - Hey..."
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"- Would you just get out of here?! - No. Not until I have that file. Here. Give..."
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"You are not getting it now."
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"I've been in worse places."
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"Yes."
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"So, what do you think?"
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"Yeah. The groom seemed a bit surprised by it too."
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"- What? - What I can't stop thinking is..."
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"...what kind of sick mind would dredge up somebody's past like that?"
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"I mean, bringing those photos to the wedding..."
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"Harry, if you have anything else to tell us..."
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"...I want you to know I'll understand."
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"No. I'm finished, but thanks for being there."
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"I believe what the lady is referring to is a certain..."
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"...skeleton in your closet."
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"Craven, I see your lips moving, but I don't hear anything."
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"How's this for a headline: "The Hoodlum Judge.""
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"Gonna make a great story."
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"What's he talking about?"
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"Well, Your Honor, he seems to have gotten this silly notion that you have a..."
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"...criminal record."
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"- How did you find out about that? - Oh, I'll never tell."
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"Right, sweetheart?"
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"I had no idea I'd come across this file when I was trying to track down... I mean..."
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"- Some other... - Where's the file now?"
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"- Well, what else you got in there? - Nothing!"
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"I mean, nothing I'd wanna go public with."
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"Okay, what was it, judge? What did they put you away for?"
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"Nothing I wanna go public with."
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"Harry, I had no idea how damaging..."
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"- I feel awful. - Lana, forget it."
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"This is terrible!"
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"You know, I could just kill myself. I really could."
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"I could just rip out my tongue with my own hands."
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"I could just slit my own throat. I could just..."
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"Lana, can we have an end to the bloodshed, please?"
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"Look, so Craven prints it."
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"Now, what's the worst that can happen?"
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"Well, I'd be publicly disgraced..."
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"Right, but..."
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"...you've still got your health."
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"I'm sorry. I've never tried to cheer up anybody before."
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"- All rise. - Don't bother getting up."
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"We're not starting yet."
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"As some of you already know..."
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"...I was once in jail. - Harry, don't do this."
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"It's a fact that can't be changed."
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"- What did you do? - I'm getting to that."
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"Just a second, judge. I wanna take a few notes."
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"Okay, Craven. Get your pen out."
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"You ready?"
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"I knocked over a liquor store."
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