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Clips from Silicon Valley - Two Days of the Condor (S02E02)

"Okay, well, he just tweeted a link to our livestream,"
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"and he has almost two million followers."
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"Oh, fuck."
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"Oh, fuck. We got to scale up if we're going to handle that kind of traffic."
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"Dinesh: I'm gonna compress the manifests."
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"I'll kill the highest bitrate to give us more headroom."
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"I've always wanted to be part of a suicide pact."
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"What? That's not what we're doing."
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"Richard: Hey, Gilfoyle, we're up to 50,000 views."
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"Whoa, it is, like, 500 degrees in here."
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"Yeah. Anton is really starting to sweat."
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"Yeah, I still can't believe you gave the servers a man's name."
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"Sorry, I couldn't remember your mother's name."
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"Hey, why don't I just open up the garage door? Let some fresh air in here."
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"Yeah, sure, if you want the cooling system to shut down"
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"and everything in here to turn to magma."
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"Actually, with all the new servers I have running,"
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"we're about to max out the amperage and blow the main breaker anyway."
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"Sooner or later, Gilfoyle's servers are gonna fail, and then it's all done."
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"My servers can handle 10 times the traffic"
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"if they weren't busy apologizing for your shit codebase."
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"Oh, yeah? Well, my codebase could handle this traffic,"
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"fuck your mother, make a video of it,"
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"upload it, and even that video would not even buffer."
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"Hey, Pete."
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"Hey, I just heard from the judge."
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"He's gonna call us in an hour early."
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"Early? What does that mean?"
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"Well, it's either a very good or a very bad sign."
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"Well, actually, it's almost always bad."
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"I take it back. It's a bad thing."
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"Why don't you head over,"
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"I'll see you when you get there, okay?"
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"Hey, guys, I gotta go."
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"It's time."
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"Try to keep it online as long as you can, okay?"
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"(crying) Why?"
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"- The picture quality is remarkable. - Mm-hmm."
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"And this is all hosted at a data center"
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"they built themselves in their garage."
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"- Man: Please help me. - That's right."
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"- Very impressive. - Man: Please someone help me!"
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"It's already becoming a meme in the Philippines. Look."
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"- (guitar playing) - Why won't anyone come help me?"
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"Can anyone hear me?"
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"(laughs)"
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"Man: Hello?"
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"And Filipinos find this amusing?"
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"- Man: Can anyone hear me? - Apparently."
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"Please help me."
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"I've lost all feeling below the waist."
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"- Why? - They are a fascinating people."
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"How are the numbers?"
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"Unless people start getting bored and tuning out, we're gonna hit our capacity."
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"Fuck."
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"Man: I'm so dehydrated."
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"I'm gonna have to urinate into my water bottle."
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"This guy's gonna drink his own piss?"
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"That's too good. We're gonna fail by succeeding."
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"Jared, I need you to plug those servers in now."
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"Aye-aye, captain."
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"What a shit-circus. Good riddance."
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"You're never gonna sell."
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"- What? - Look what's happening here."
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"It's magical."
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"The only thing magical is how much"
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"this house has appreciated in the last three years, Jared."
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"I'm selling."
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"That's just money. It has no real value."
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"It literally defines value."
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"Look at this check. All right?"
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"You can't actually cash it, but think about what it represents."
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"It's priceless."
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"Jared, I saw your entire HR file."
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"It was in the Hooli disclosure."
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"You had a fat salary and stock options."
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"By now, you would be a senior VP."
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"But instead, you walked away to wrangle extension cords"
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"for a company that will be defunct in maybe 30 hours."
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"If you're not kicking yourself even just a little bit, you are objectively insane."
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"I can always find another job, but look at us... doing this."
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"It's intoxicating. Don't act like it's not magical."
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"It is."
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"(banging)"
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"What the fuck is that?"
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"Jesus Christ!"
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"What the fucking fuck?"
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"Hey, guys."
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"On the day that I'm showing the place? Are you serious?"
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"I had to shorten up the cable run, so..."
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"This is the shortest distance to the garage. Had to do it."
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"It's magical."
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"Huh."
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"So, start with the wide end."
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"Oh, Richard."
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"Here, let me help you with that."
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"May I?"
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"- Relax. - Okay."
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"Just gonna tie your tie."
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"All right."
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"I feel terrible it's come to this, Richard."
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"But who knows?"
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"Sometimes things like this are for the best."
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"I know this one is for me."
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"If you hadn't blackmailed me into this arbitration,"
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"I was gonna have to go in front of the Hooli Board of Directors"
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"and ask for $250 million to buy you out."
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"Wow. $250 million?"
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"Believe it or not,"
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"your algorithm is the only way to make Nucleus work."
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"I was ready to pay whatever it took."
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"Let me ask you this. If I offered you 10 million for Pied Piper"
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"right now, before we even go in there, would you take it?"
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"Really? You'd do that?"
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"No, of course not."
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"I'm about to get it for free. I'm just fucking with you."
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"I'm sure you'll come up with plenty more"
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"once-in-a-lifetime ideas, Richard."
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"Or not."
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"♪ ♪"
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