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Clips from The Monkees - Monkee vs. Machine (S01E01)

"about happiness, are you Mr. Daggard?"
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"You tell 'em Pop."
The Monkees
"Daggard, you're through."
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"Through? You think you can stand before the march of the machine?"
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"You? An indecisive jellyfish?"
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"You'll change your mind."
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"No, I won't."
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"Bah, humbug."
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"Harper?"
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"Yes sir?"
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"I'm going to appoint you the General Manager of the company."
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"Yes sir!"
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"Now, we've got to get to work on this, uh, this wonkle,"
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"this vicky, this, uh, gotta think of a name of it."
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"Nesmith."
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"I don't know."
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"It's chilly in here."
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"I guess we could call it a monkeerang."
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"I mean it always comes back."
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"Catch it Pete."
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"Micky: So where did you get the machine?"
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"Mike: Well, uh, Mr. Guggins gave it to me to help me straighten out our careers."
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"Peter: What's to straighten out. We're musicians."
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"Mike: Oh well, I mean, that's cool."
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"Except, uh, I figured we ought to get a little extra"
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"money to pay the rent, and so I got the machine here."
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"DJ 69 believe the Monkees should seek employment as..."
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"Take the last train to Clarksville And I'll meet you at the station"
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"You can be here by four thirty 'Cause I made your reservation"
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"Don't be slow, oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, no, no!"
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"'Cause I'm leavin' in the morning And I must see you again"
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"We'll have one more night together 'Til the morning brings my train"
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"And I must go, oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, no, no!"
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"And I don't know if I'm ever coming home"
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"Take the last train to Clarksville I'll be waiting at the station"
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"We'll have time for coffee flavored kisses And a bit of conversation"
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"Oh... Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, no, no!"
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"[Music]"
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"Take the last train to Clarksville Now I must hang up the phone"
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"I can't hear you in this noisy Railroad station all alone"
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"I'm feelin' low, oh, no, no, no!"
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"Oh, no, no, no!"
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"And I don't know if I'm ever coming home"
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"[Music]"
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"Take the last train to Clarksville And I'll meet you at the station"
The Monkees
"You can be here by four thirty 'Cause I made your reservation"
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"And don't be slow, oh, no, no, no!"
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"Oh, no, no, no!"
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"And I don't know if I'm ever coming home"
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"Take the last train to Clarksville"
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"Hello?"
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"Oh, oh yes sir, the rent. Well we...hello?"
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"The landlord."
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"Plaster's falling down. Plumbing don't work."
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"We're two days late on the rent and he calls up and growls at us."
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"Hey man, there's loads of jobs here. We can get work. Listen to this."
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"Wanted, Keeper at city zoo, at prime meal time at the lion's cage."
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"If the lion likes you, the job's yours."
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"Hey, here's one. Says must have your own bicycle."
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"Um, boy to deliver pianos."
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"Deliver pianos?"
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"A toy factory. Needs unskilled help, a non essential"
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"job requiring no training and no experience."
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"Hey Peter, you don't have any training and you sure don't have any experience."
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"You're the only one qualified."
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"Probably the only one in the city with those qualifications."
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"At least anyone that can read the ad."
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"Just think of it. They put an ad in the paper to reach me."
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"That's right."
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"Why didn't they phone?"
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"Never mind. What difference does it make? Listen, you gotta go and get that job."
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"For the old team boy. Up we go."
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"All you gotta do is stay very cool and remember these three little words."
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"Don't argue."
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"That's two words."
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"You're starting already."
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"I have an appointment with the personnel director."
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"Of course. Right this way."
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"Where is he?"
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"You're looking at him."
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"Take a seat please."
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"Here we come, walkin' Down the street"
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"We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing To put anybody down"
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"We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play"
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"We're the young generation And we've got something to say"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees You never know where we'll be found"
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"So you better get ready"
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"We may be comin' to your town"
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"Take a seat please"
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"To preclude the variable factor inherent in the human equation,"
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"...we have instituted this new electronic personnel"
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"procedure requiring your name please."
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"What?"
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"Thank you. Last name, What. And your first name Mr. What?"
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"It's not What."
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"Not What. Mr. Notwhat What?"
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"Wait a minute. That's not my name at all. My name is..."
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"Occupation?"
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"Peter. You dig? Pete."
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"You dig Pete. Occupation, Pete digger."
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"And your mother's maiden name?"
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"Thompson."
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"Mother's name, Thompson. Sex please."
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"Female, of course."
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"Alright. Mrs. Not What."
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"No, my mother is female."
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"What do you do in your spare time, Mrs. Not What?"
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"Listen, I'm a man!"
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"in your spare time, you are a man."
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"No, no, that's not it at all. First of all, you've got my name wrong."
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"Correction. Name misspelled. Please give correct letter."
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"Well, I..."
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"Correct letter is I. Name is not Not What, but Nit Whit."
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"Oh brother."
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"Brother is also a nitwit."
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"Now, just a minute."
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"That will do nitwit. Test complete. Interview ended."
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"Application rejected [Bell tone]"
The Monkees
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