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Clips from The Monkees - Monkee vs. Machine (S01E01)

"No son, uh, pardon me."
The Monkees
"Stay right there."
The Monkees
"Uh, hello. Here, that's an educational toy. You can kill, here."
The Monkees
"Here, don't do that."
The Monkees
"Gimmie that yo-yo."
The Monkees
"[Kids yelling]"
The Monkees
"What's going on out there?"
The Monkees
"Out where? Oh!"
The Monkees
"[Kids yelling]"
The Monkees
"Now this afternoon J.B., we're going to demonstrate the durability of our new toys."
The Monkees
"Are they all here Nesmith?"
The Monkees
"Oh yes sir. They're just coming in now."
The Monkees
"All right, let's go."
The Monkees
"Did you, uh, get rid of the one with the yo-yo?"
The Monkees
"Oh yes sir, this is a replacement here."
The Monkees
"This looks like an improvement."
The Monkees
"Not that much of an... Alright, right over here."
The Monkees
"Alright lad, sit right down there."
The Monkees
"Wonderful."
The Monkees
"Alright. Let's start the test here."
The Monkees
"Here we have a dear little four twenty blackbirds baked in a plastic pie toy."
The Monkees
"Wonderful."
The Monkees
"See how nice that works blackbird wise?"
The Monkees
"This toy cannot be bruised, bashed, broken, or scratched in any form. Wonderful."
The Monkees
"Now, let's all play with our pies. Play with the pies."
The Monkees
"Give it a little crank. That's a good lad."
The Monkees
"Is that wonderful?"
The Monkees
"Come on, alright. Let's just stop all this playing around now and play with the pie."
The Monkees
"Perfect. Wonderful."
The Monkees
"Isn't that fun? Funsies, fun time."
The Monkees
"La-la-la-la-la wonderful."
The Monkees
"[Explosion]"
The Monkees
"Don't do that. Oh my heart."
The Monkees
"My mommy won't let me play with toys that burn or bash or scratch or go boom."
The Monkees
"Alright."
The Monkees
"Let's begin the assembly test now."
The Monkees
"Wait a minute, what about this boy here."
The Monkees
"Ouch!"
The Monkees
"Nesmith."
The Monkees
"I think I'll watch from the control room."
The Monkees
"There, well, now we'll, uh, set the timer here and see"
The Monkees
"how long it takes the little rascals to assemble the toy."
The Monkees
"Alright, this is very simple. You gotta put A in slot B"
The Monkees
"and C in slot C and you make a bridge okay?"
The Monkees
"Everybody go to it now, quick."
The Monkees
"[Chatter]"
The Monkees
"Hey, no you can put the slots in, they go in like this and then they twist,"
The Monkees
"and it goes in this way and then you turn around..."
The Monkees
"No!"
The Monkees
"Is it alright if we force it?"
The Monkees
"No forcing it's out."
The Monkees
"Hey, that's mine!"
The Monkees
"No, it doesn't. It doesn't go in..."
The Monkees
"No, they're mine. Come on. Gimmie those!"
The Monkees
"These are computer toys!"
The Monkees
"[Kids yelling]"
The Monkees
"The machines are planned for these, uh, results actually."
The Monkees
"- Planned? - Oh yeah."
The Monkees
"What happens when a toy won't hold a child's interest?"
The Monkees
"Oh, the parents go out and buy 'em a new one?"
The Monkees
"Right."
The Monkees
"And what happens when a toy won't assemble or is destroyed?"
The Monkees
"Well, they, they buy another one."
The Monkees
"Right! It's planned obsolescence Guggins."
The Monkees
"Trying to triple our sales."
The Monkees
"Well, uh, that's pretty good."
The Monkees
"Pretty good? It's marvelous!"
The Monkees
"It's marvelous!"
The Monkees
"Wait a minute. Excuse me."
The Monkees
"Listen Mr. Guggins, I think you've forgotten a very important part of toy building..."
The Monkees
"...and that's the fact that you need to build in some happiness."
The Monkees
"And after all, happiness is a very important product."
The Monkees
"I'm wanna show you a toy."
The Monkees
"Come on."
The Monkees
"You see sir. You twist in any which way and uh..."
The Monkees
"Wait a minute. I think I smell a small, furry rodent."
The Monkees
"Excuse me madam. Pardon me madam. Madam?"
The Monkees
"Oh! I never speak to strangers."
The Monkees
"My husband's insanely jealous. Come on junior. We have to go now."
The Monkees
"I believe I've seen your son somewhere before."
The Monkees
"Oh no, no, impossible. No, he's never permitted to cross the street."
The Monkees
"Well, he looks rather mature for ten."
The Monkees
"No, no, no. Actually, he's just a little infant, yes, I have to help"
The Monkees
"him with his reading every morning before he goes to school."
The Monkees
"I read to him. Come on."
The Monkees
"While I'm shaving."
The Monkees
"What? Huh? Fraud! Conspiracy!"
The Monkees
"Come on sonny. Come on home."
The Monkees
"What is going on here?"
The Monkees
"I'll tell you what's going on here mister, a vast conspiracy!"
The Monkees
"[Screaming]"
The Monkees
"Terribly sorry madam."
The Monkees
"By George, anyone who wants to fire you is gonna have to talk to me first."
The Monkees
"I want him fired."
The Monkees
"I'm glad you talked to me first."
The Monkees
"Alright you're fired. All of you now, out."
The Monkees
"Don't worry. It's just no good. Get rid of it."
The Monkees
"Well now, wait a minute. It's a nice toy."
The Monkees
"Please, please, I don't want to see it again."
The Monkees
"Just get rid of it."
The Monkees
"This thing has really been a drag."
The Monkees
"Hey Davy?"
The Monkees
"Let me see the paper. I want to look at the want ads."
The Monkees
"Hey Pop, how many of these things did you make?"
The Monkees
"Uh, uh, just one."
The Monkees
"Well, where did this one come from? I just threw one out the door."
The Monkees
"Hey, I threw one out too."
The Monkees
"Well, that means that the thing come back by itself."
The Monkees
"A toy you can't throw away."
The Monkees
"It's useless. Totally useless."
The Monkees
"It's useless huh? Well alright, then you get rid of it if it's useless."
The Monkees
"You bet I'll get rid of it."
The Monkees
"And it comes back."
The Monkees
"I think they may have something there."
The Monkees
"And I say they don't."
The Monkees
"And I say they may have something there!"
The Monkees
"Think of it Mr. Guggins. You can sell a million of these things,"
The Monkees
"then you've got a million happy kids."
The Monkees
"Sure, happiness."
The Monkees
"Yes, happiness, but you are not that concerned"
The Monkees
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