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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Master Debater (S01E01)

"Criminals are hungry, stupid people."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-That is a hurtful stereotype. -I'm hungry, and stupid,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and I'm not a criminal. -So..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"tomorrow, when they show up with their bogus coupons,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"we arrest them."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And then once we get a good-sized group,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"we'll load 'em up in here"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and off we go to the county jail."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wait, is that tomorrow?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I started this out with, "So tomorrow." Yes, Sterling."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Dang it! I thought it was Sunday. I have my forensics tournament tomorrow."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Your forgetfulness is disappointing but not surprising."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"So here's who the three of us will be apprehending."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"This guy is missing four teeth."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Also, he's only worth 100 dollars."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, you don't need teeth for yogurt."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And yes, only a hundred,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but an easy day worth of these folks is a pretty penny."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Speak for yourself. A hundred for y'all if you bring him in,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"if you don't, that's negative one-thousand for me."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[inhales through teeth] -Wow, your business cycle"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"really relies on Bowser being good at his job."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That's why my black book of bounty hunters is very thick."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I rely on Bowser, Terrance, Chuck, Perry D,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Michael, Rojelio, Jorge..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, all right."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Enough naming your boyfriends. I'm your favorite."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Not after this stupid plan."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Stupid? [chuckles] -Mm-hm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Instead of wasting whole days chasing fifty buck skips,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"they all come to us in one big bunch."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That's genius if you ask me."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, Einstein."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Mm-hm. You're just mad 'cause you gotta get your hands dirty."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[chuckles] -Please."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"The old Yolanda used to love that."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Oh, gross. -Ooh, like how?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wrangling drunks in the club. Mm-hm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[both chuckle]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I was a cop, and she was a bouncer."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Yeah. -That's before she got soft."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[gasps] You should talk, Krispy Kreme."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[Bowser mumbles] -Although, I do endorse this shirt."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, you got love for Tommy Bahama, huh?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, any place that sells a burger and a blouse is okay with me."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Yolanda and Bowser chuckle]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What the actual heck?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"She's basically undressing Bowser with her eyes."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I think she was just complimenting his shirt."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But it's hideous."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"She obviously wants to get with him, sex style."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Sex. She wants to have sex with him"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and we need to clear the way."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But wait, he married her sister,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"so if he sleeps with Yolanda,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"it's like he's sleeping with his sister."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But in reality, Yolanda was already his former wife's sister"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"when they did the dirty the first time,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"so, technically, they've been doing an incestuous ménage à trois"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"this entire time."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wow, your brain works really quickly when it comes to intercourse."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, it does."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey Bow-Wow, I can't attend coupon day either"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"because I have to go support Sterling and be her good luck charm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[gasps] Aw!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I always lose in the first round."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, that's because I'm never there."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"So, I guess you guys are doing this thing together."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[chuckles] Oh, my gosh. You guys are so cute."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[cell phone clicks] -[Blair] Ohhh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'll send it to you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[gasps]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh. [chuckles]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Can I borrow this?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Depends. You gonna bring it back?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"If the way I borrow Sterling's bras is any indication,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"probably in two to three years,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and may be stretched out a little bit."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Fine. -Thank you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Thanks for coming with me tomorrow."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I really wouldn't mind kicking butt for a change."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Don't be weird."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I just said that to give Yolanda and Bowser time to get busy."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Really, I'm going to hang out with Miles,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"make sweet love, and talk about adult things like the Federal Reserve"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-or doing laundry. -Thrilling."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey! Hit me as hard as you can."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's designed to stop bullets, not hands."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Just pretend that you're an immature teenage bank robber"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and I'm a sexy adult FBI agent trying to stop you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, fine!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But I'm a grown-ass bank robber"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"with an opioid addiction and a really tragic backstory."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wait! Opioid addiction isn't funny."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, fine. No addiction, just still a really tragic backstory, okay?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[both grunting]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I can take you. Oh, my God!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[giggling]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[car approaches]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Was that Mom? -I think so!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did she just see us standing in front of an RV with bail bonds"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and me in a bulletproof vest? -Looks like it."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Holy shit."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, we're so busted!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Mom knows we're bounty hunters! -Mom thinks we're slacking off at work..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We're bounty hunters!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That's what I was gonna say."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Hey. -Oh, hey, Mom. Hope you had a great day."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We totally did. We worked so hard."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, which you already know since you saw us outside the yogurt shop today."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, you should have stopped and said hi."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We would have introduced you"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"to this wonderful, incredible woman that Bowser knows."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Her name is Yolanda and she's a nun,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and she drives around delivering yogurt to underserved youth."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"She's bailing out hunger."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Sterling] Yeah, while also creating a bond."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You might have also noticed that new vest that I was sporting."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's from H&M, their new Desert Storm collection."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What a deal."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
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