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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Master Debater (S01E01)

"I will pin you down and Visine you myself."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[exhales deeply]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Girls, try to remember that you're on the same team."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You used to be so close."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm sure you can find that again."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Just try."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Coach, I was thinking about bringing muffins to the other teams."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I was thinking, would you want to go in halfsies or--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Ellen continues talking indistinctly]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We used to be on the same page, like, all the time."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did we?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Maybe I blocked it out."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Come on."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Remember in fifth grade when we convinced Mrs. Willis"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"that we should have a lesson"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"on the cultural significance of the "Bad Blood" music video?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Till that rat-faced Marcy Browning reminded her of our quiz."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"She was the worst."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Total narc."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"At least I still got 100 on that quiz."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I got 95 because I spelled Quakers with a "C"."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
""Quackers"."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It drove me crazy for, like, a month."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[both laugh]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We need to be on each other's sides to win,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but after tomorrow, it's back to normal."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I.e., me knowing that you're fake"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and being the only person in school who can see it."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[door opens]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[door closes]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did you know that the French call the moment of orgasm"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
""The Little Death"?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Do you think cumming is like dying?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"If it is, then I'm like a cat with nine lives,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and I just used a big one."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[chuckles] But I'm gonna need, like, 9,000 lives"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"if I die a little bit every time I have a sex orgasm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Ah, here it is."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay. I think we've reached a point in our relationship"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"where I would like stronger boundaries."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"The next time Miles and I have sex I'm going to be, like..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[grunting]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And then I'm gonna flip him over"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and I'm gonna be like bam! Bam! Bam!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And then he's gonna be, like... [moans]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And then I'm going to do this thing with my hips that I read about,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and he's gonna be, like, [squeals]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, I don't wanna hear anymore."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wait, I'm just getting to the best part."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Then I'm gonna grab his neck and I'm gonna pull--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Stop it!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Dude, what's up?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I lied, I've never had an orgasm with Luke! I--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, shit."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[sighs] I'm so sorry."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I thought he would have hit the spot, like, at least once."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You know what they say,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
""Even a blind squirrel trips over a nut every once in a while.""
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We only had sex six times."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Um... [sighs]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, sex orgasms are really hard for a girl."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I mean, did you ever get close when he was going down on you?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We only did that one time and, uh, it didn't feel very good."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"One of the guys on his golf team said that he should say,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
""Peanut butter lumberjack,""
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and he almost suffocated."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Um, why didn't you tell him what to do?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What? You can't talk during sexual activities."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What? How else is he supposed to know?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"The only reason I came with Miles"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"is because I told him precisely how it works when I'm alone."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I literally wrote it down on my iPad"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and showed him the notes in between takes, I mean..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[gasps] -Hold on."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did you ever use that vibrator that I got you?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Or read any of those articles on self-pleasure?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"They were great stocking stuffers, truly..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You've never masturbated."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Or had an orgasm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"At all."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"No, and don't make fun of me. Or Luke."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We tried."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey, it's okay."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"No judgment."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's just... it's a great use of after-school time"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and then also, you get to tell somebody exactly what it is you like."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I would highly recommend doing it yourself"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"before you go out on the open road."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Who says I'm going to do that?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Why wouldn't you? The world is your jizz oyster."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Ew. -Look around you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You can have any guy you want."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I guess I am kind of curious"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"to see what it's like to kiss someone else, like..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"maybe Darren Boggs?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yes!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Ooh, or Brett McNease."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You could even touch his butt."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"If you could get your hands around that thing."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's a monster."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I would never hook up with someone from school, though,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"so I can get called a slut again."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Mm. -I mean, me and God are cool."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But the Judgment of the Willingham student body"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"is a different story."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[exhales deeply]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey, who says he has to be from this school?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You can scroll through Geekster."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey, he's cute in, like, a Space Camp kind of way."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[Blair] Hm. -Always go for the nerds."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"They're the ones who end up being the most successful."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Excuse me! We plan on making our own money."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Sure, mija, but I don't live in a zero-sum world."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Money, plus more money, equals fuck you money."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[Bowser] All right. -Yes, it does."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Sent out mailers for free yogurt"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"to our list of low-rent Dekalb skips."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"How do you know they're going to come?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Trust me, I've done this a bunch of times in Florida."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
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