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Clips from Mike Tyson Mysteries - The Pigeon Has Come Home to Roost (S03E03)

"I was selling them online for 150 bucks a unit."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Until I got a cease and desist in the mail."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-From who? -From GUESS."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Okay... -What?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Tommy Hilfiger?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No, GUESS, the clothing line."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I am dumbass."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Armani? -GUESS."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, this is fun. Diane Von Furstenberg."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Mike. -Calvin Klein."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-GUESS. -Versace."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-GUESS. -Mossimo for Target."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-GUESS. -I am, mother (BLEEP)."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Sergio Valente. -GUESS, God dammit."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The brand is GUESS."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The brand is Levi's mother (BLEEP)."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh my God. What..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, oh, oh. Michael Kors."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(CRASH AND SCREAM) -(TIRES SQUEALING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(PANTING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(GASPS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(PANTING AND GASPING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh no. Poor Pigeon."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What are you talking about?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"This is Pigeon. He just don't look like Pigeon right now."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And he also... He's dead."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Damn."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So, I guess that means I'm definitely on the team, huh?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Can I live in his room?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-I currently embroiled in a dispute with my landlord. -(SCOFFS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And uh, also rest in peace, Pigeon?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I always loved you and I didn't get a chance to say so."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Okay, I'm gonna go get my (BLEEP) out the car."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And bring it inside, since that's where I've been living."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know, because of that dispute."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MIKE: When I was younger, I remember grandmother taking me to the knitting store."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We would spend hours together picking out the perfect yarn"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"from all the beautiful colors."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And then we would sit in her parlor"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"together, knitting all afternoon."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Sometimes she would braid my hair."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And there would always be time for cookies."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I will always miss those times with Gram."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But I will always forever cherish the memories."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Amen."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Michael, what was that?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's a eulogy I got off the internet"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"when I did a search for typical eulogy speech."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I didn't have the time or the inclination to write my own."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And this one seemed perfect."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Dad, don't you think it's weird that we had him buried at a pet cemetery?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, I bought the plot years ago when he was still a bird."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I got plots for all of us."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Mine is in Arlington National Cemetery."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Right next to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Marquess, you're gonna be buried in California right next to Marilyn Monroe."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Because I know how much you love her."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh my god. Thank you, Michael."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And Yung, your final resting place will be in your homeland of Korea."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I can't remember if it's North or South Korea."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I didn't make the arrangements."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Deezy did."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I thought you said, North or South Carolina."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We got hers in South Carolina."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"About 30 minutes from Charleston,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"if I'm not mistaken."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, that's interesting."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Real interesting."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"30 minutes away from Charleston."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Marquess, go ahead."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Okay, ahem."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We pour this one out for our homie, Pigeon."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(MARQUESS GASPS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(YUNG SHRIEKS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh my... Oh, my god."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He's not even in anything."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's a pet cemetery. They only had little coffins."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Come on, let's get outta here."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Pigeon would've wanted us to get on with our lives."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(CROW CAWING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Damn, where the hell is the light switch?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, well, well, well."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Pigeon? I thought you were dead."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Shut the door and keep your voice down."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What are you doing in here?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"In my room?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Shouldn't I ask you that?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"How you still alive?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And who's that man we buried?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Listen close."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Because I'm only gonna say this once."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"In 1979 I stole $400 million from the Albanian mafia."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I got away with it clean."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Until 1989, I bragged about it to a Lithuanian whore."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Who, you guessed it, was actually an Albanian whore."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I blame the cocaine."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, I'll tell ya."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The one mafia you don't wanna run afoul of is the Albanian mafia."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know they made a guy eat himself"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"in his own home."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"In front of his wife and kids."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hacked off pieces of him, sewed him back up, served him the pieces."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Took six months, they say."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That was in Malta, they say."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But I know it was Riga."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Latvia, beautiful place, right there on the water."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"They made the wife eat the guy and it was done in a week."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And that was a fact."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So, I knew I had to disappear."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Forever."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And there was this division of the Pakistani royal guard."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Headed by a guy, Dr. Khan,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"who supposedly was attempting to surgically turn people into animals."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"They're obsessed by the scheme of having a rabbit blow up the Israeli Knesset."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Anyhoo, for a $100 million he turned me into a pigeon."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And I've lived that way ever since."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Till about a month ago."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We were in Newport beach,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"we'd just solved one of these dumb mysteries."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And I did a bunch of cocaine,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
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