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Clips from Seinfeld - The Non-Fat Yogurt (S05E05)

"If you continue cursing, you'll never become..."
Seinfeld
"...a comedian like me when you grow up."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me one second."
Seinfeld
"You know, Lloyd advises Dinkins on everything he does."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, yeah. Big adviser. - He tells him what soap to use."
Seinfeld
"What the f**k are you doing, you little piece of s**t?!"
Seinfeld
"We don't want to disturb the security guard."
Seinfeld
"Where's the lights?"
Seinfeld
"- How about this? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"A Bunsen burner."
Seinfeld
"You want a taste? It's cappuccino."
Seinfeld
"It's delicious."
Seinfeld
"- I hear you. - Nonfat?"
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...you tell me."
Seinfeld
"Is the verdict in yet?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...this is in case there's a tie."
Seinfeld
"As far as I know, he bumped his arm into a door..."
Seinfeld
"...and it's kind of got..."
Seinfeld
"...this involuntary movement. It's some sort of a spasm."
Seinfeld
"So, anyway, you're a big adviser to Dinkins, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah. It's coming right down the wire."
Seinfeld
"Know what I would do if I was running for mayor?"
Seinfeld
"One of my campaign themes would be..."
Seinfeld
"...that everybody should wear nametags to make the city friendlier."
Seinfeld
"- Nametags, huh? - Everybody would know everybody."
Seinfeld
"It would be like a small town."
Seinfeld
"- Maybe I'll mention that to him. - Really?"
Seinfeld
"- You sure you don't want any yogurt? - No, I'm watching my weight."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, it's nonfat. - Yeah, so they say."
Seinfeld
"- Well, shall we go? - Yeah, okay."
Seinfeld
"Three days he hasn't called me, and you know why?"
Seinfeld
"Because he thinks I'm too fat."
Seinfeld
"- He said that? - No."
Seinfeld
"But I saw the look on his face when he put his arm around me."
Seinfeld
"Then we went to his apartment, and I sat on one of his chairs..."
Seinfeld
"...and it broke."
Seinfeld
"And he says, "Boy, you're a lot of woman.""
Seinfeld
"Hey, so hear anything on the yogurt?"
Seinfeld
"- No, but I expect to hear any time. - Well, I wouldn't get your hopes up."
Seinfeld
"- Why do you say that? - No reason."
Seinfeld
"Did you hear about that Dinkins?"
Seinfeld
"- What about him? - You didn't hear?"
Seinfeld
"He's proposing a plan where everyone in the city should wear nametags."
Seinfeld
"- Nametags? - So people can go around..."
Seinfeld
"...saying hello to one another."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I see. So you go, "Hey, you know who I saw wilding today? Herb!""
Seinfeld
"He's becoming a laughingstock!"
Seinfeld
"The Times has already stated it could cost him the election. Nametags!"
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"Yeah-"
Seinfeld
"Oh, really?"
Seinfeld
"Okay. Thank you very much."
Seinfeld
"Bye-bye. Well..."
Seinfeld
"...the yogurt verdict is in."
Seinfeld
"Fat!"
Seinfeld
"The next morning, I woke up..."
Seinfeld
"...and it was going like this."
Seinfeld
"I can control it if I really concentrate..."
Seinfeld
"...but otherwise-"
Seinfeld
"Yes, well, I'm going to have to be perfectly honest with you."
Seinfeld
"- Please, doctor. - I've examined you..."
Seinfeld
"...I've looked at your x-rays..."
Seinfeld
"...and I find that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"- Nothing? - Nothing..."
Seinfeld
"...that would indicate involuntary spasms."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's kind of a mystery, isn't it?"
Seinfeld
"- No, not really. - How so?"
Seinfeld
"May I suggest the possibility that you're faking."
Seinfeld
"Faking?"
Seinfeld
"What makes you think that I have time..."
Seinfeld
"...to see doctors take x-rays, make appointments..."
Seinfeld
"...when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me?"
Seinfeld
"What kind of a person would do a thing like that?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know what kind of person would do something like that."
Seinfeld
"Obviously a very sick person."
Seinfeld
"A very immature person."
Seinfeld
"A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time."
Seinfeld
"- Goodbye. - Now see here, doctor-"
Seinfeld
"I said, goodbye."
Seinfeld
"Fine."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, come on, look. Let's go to that yogurt store."
Seinfeld
"I've been thinking about this. This has gotta be a massive conspiracy."
Seinfeld
"Who knows how deep it goes?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, look, wait a second. Kramer, turn that up."
Seinfeld
"Rudy Giuliani, who underwent a physical last week..."
Seinfeld
"...received some startling news today..."
Seinfeld
"...when his cholesterol count turned out to be a whopping 375."
Seinfeld
"What effect this will have on the minds of the voters..."
Seinfeld
"...remains to be seen."
Seinfeld
"In another development, Mayor Dinkins has fired..."
Seinfeld
"...his top adviser, Lloyd Braun, who was believed responsible..."
Seinfeld
"...for the nametag fiasco."
Seinfeld
"We now take you to Giuliani headquarters..."
Seinfeld
"...where Rudy Giuliani is about to make a statement."
Seinfeld
"It's hard to understand because I've done everything I normally do."
Seinfeld
"I've been watching my diet very carefully, I exercise regularly."
Seinfeld
"My only indulgence, I guess, would be that I eat a lot of frozen yogurt..."
Seinfeld
"...but it's nonfat."
Seinfeld
"Nonfat yogurt? Oh, my God. They got Giuliani, and he doesn't know it!"
Seinfeld
"- Now look what you've done. - We've gotta do something."
Seinfeld
"I'm calling Giuliani's headquarters."
Seinfeld
"Nametags! Nametags!"
Seinfeld
"What kind of an idiot thinks anybody would be interested in that idea?"
Seinfeld
"I don't think it's so bad. People should wear nametags."
Seinfeld
"Everyone would be a lot friendlier."
Seinfeld
""Hello, Sam." "How you doing, Joe?""
Seinfeld
"Hey, your arm. It moved again."
Seinfeld
"I thought you said it went away."
Seinfeld
"I banged it on the desk in the doctor's office."
Seinfeld
"Quiet!"
Seinfeld
"They're starting the press conference."
Seinfeld
"My campaign staff received some very disturbing information..."
Seinfeld
"...regarding the fat content in yogurt that's being sold throughout the city."
Seinfeld
"I pledge to you now that if I'm elected mayor, as my first order of business..."
Seinfeld
"...I'll appoint a special task force to investigate this matter."
Seinfeld
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