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Clips from Uncoupled - Chapter 6 (S01E01)

Oh no! They booted you.

"Oh no! They booted you."

Uncoupled

-Honestly, it's no big deal.

"-Honestly, it's no big deal."

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-It's just a couple of days.

"-It's just a couple of days."

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Although I might keep it on longer on account of how sexy it is.

"Although I might keep it on longer on account of how sexy it is."

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You're joking, but… I'm not not turned on.

"You're joking, but… I'm not not turned on."

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Just tell me you're not a professional soccer player.

"Just tell me you're not a professional soccer player."

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Yeah. I'm in the pro, over-40 geezer league

"Yeah. I'm in the pro, over-40 geezer league"

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-that's caught fire with all the kids.

"-that's caught fire with all the kids."

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I sell residential real estate. What about you?

"I sell residential real estate. What about you?"

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Oh, nothing that glamorous. I am a third grade teacher.

"Oh, nothing that glamorous. I am a third grade teacher."

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First, I love that you think

"First, I love that you think"

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showing grumpy, perpetually dissatisfied people apartments is glamorous.

"showing grumpy, perpetually dissatisfied people apartments is glamorous."

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-At least you're contributing to society.

"-At least you're contributing to society."

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-Shaping young minds. -Oh, easy!

"-Shaping young minds. -Oh, easy!"

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It's-- it's Dalton, not Stand and Deliver.

"It's-- it's Dalton, not Stand and Deliver."

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But it's little kids,

"But it's little kids,"

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so I do have the strongest immune system in the world.

"so I do have the strongest immune system in the world."

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-I've been sneezed on more than Kleenex.

"-I've been sneezed on more than Kleenex."

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My ex and I talked about having kids, but we never got around to it.

"My ex and I talked about having kids, but we never got around to it."

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We're bad gays.

"We're bad gays."

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We didn't get married. We didn't become dads.

"We didn't get married. We didn't become dads."

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We turned on Madonna.

"We turned on Madonna."

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-Wow, the trifecta! -Yeah.

"-Wow, the trifecta! -Yeah."

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My ex wanted kids,

"My ex wanted kids,"

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but as much as I love teaching, I didn't wanna come home to more of that energy.

"but as much as I love teaching, I didn't wanna come home to more of that energy."

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It's one of the things that broke us up. That and his wandering penis.

"It's one of the things that broke us up. That and his wandering penis."

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So… if you don't mind my asking,

"So… if you don't mind my asking,"

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what went wrong with you and…

"what went wrong with you and…"

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Colin.

"Colin."

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He never really told me. He just left.

"He never really told me. He just left."

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Have you got his name off the credit cards yet?

"Have you got his name off the credit cards yet?"

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That took me forever.

"That took me forever."

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He got my name off in a day.

"He got my name off in a day."

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There was definitely some advanced planning involved.

"There was definitely some advanced planning involved."

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-AmEx knew about our breakup

"-AmEx knew about our breakup"

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way before I did.

"way before I did."

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-Are you sure? -Yes.

"-Are you sure? -Yes."

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Mm! Damn, that is good. You know, Colin wouldn't share food.

"Mm! Damn, that is good. You know, Colin wouldn't share food."

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Don would share, but he was on a raw food diet

"Don would share, but he was on a raw food diet"

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and would only eat food warmed by the sun, so pass.

"and would only eat food warmed by the sun, so pass."

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-Let's not talk about our exes anymore.

"-Let's not talk about our exes anymore."

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Colin and Don are hereby disinvited to the party.

"Colin and Don are hereby disinvited to the party."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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What do we do instead?

"What do we do instead?"

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Hey, what do you think about taking this inside somewhere? Say, my place?

"Hey, what do you think about taking this inside somewhere? Say, my place?"

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If you could see what's going on in my pants, you wouldn't have to ask.

"If you could see what's going on in my pants, you wouldn't have to ask."

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Yeah?

"Yeah?"

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I wanna make sure we're not moving too fast.

"I wanna make sure we're not moving too fast."

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Less pressure for you than it is for me.

"Less pressure for you than it is for me."

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Uh… You're probably right.

"Uh… You're probably right."

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-Oh, damn it. I didn't wanna be right! -Oh!

"-Oh, damn it. I didn't wanna be right! -Oh!"

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Mm. Uh, I…

"Mm. Uh, I…"

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Mm!

"Mm!"

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Mm-- Aah!

"Mm-- Aah!"

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I get in my head, but I don't wanna overthink this, 'cause it feels so right.

"I get in my head, but I don't wanna overthink this, 'cause it feels so right."

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-Should we go for it? -You don't have to ask me twice.

"-Should we go for it? -You don't have to ask me twice."

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-I just did. -Oh, shut up and get in the cab.

"-I just did. -Oh, shut up and get in the cab."

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-You first. -Oh!

"-You first. -Oh!"

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Mm. Last night was amazing.

"Mm. Last night was amazing."

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Mm!

"Mm!"

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You're the first person to sleep in this bed since…

"You're the first person to sleep in this bed since…"

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You okay? You wanna talk about it?

"You okay? You wanna talk about it?"

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A guy who wants to talk about my feelings?

"A guy who wants to talk about my feelings?"

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You really are the exact opposite

"You really are the exact opposite"

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of the last person to occupy that side of the bed.

"of the last person to occupy that side of the bed."

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We're seeing each other five nights in a row. It's effortless.

"We're seeing each other five nights in a row. It's effortless."

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Oh! Michael, that makes me so happy.

"Oh! Michael, that makes me so happy."

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-Thanks. -And guess what?

"-Thanks. -And guess what?"

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I'm not gonna be able to make poker tomorrow night because,

"I'm not gonna be able to make poker tomorrow night because,"

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and here come four words I haven't said in a year,

"and here come four words I haven't said in a year,"

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I have a date.

"I have a date."

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Stanley! That's so great. Who with?

"Stanley! That's so great. Who with?"

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That guy Billy pawned me off on at the skating party.

"That guy Billy pawned me off on at the skating party."

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Cue card guy?

"Cue card guy?"

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It's teleprompter.

"It's teleprompter."

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And it's more interesting than it sounds.

"And it's more interesting than it sounds."

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Not a ton more, but enough.

"Not a ton more, but enough."

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And he's so into art!

"And he's so into art!"

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So there's that.

"So there's that."

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Plus, he has perfect teeth. You know how I am about teeth.

"Plus, he has perfect teeth. You know how I am about teeth."

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Fuck the eyes. I think teeth are the windows to the soul.

"Fuck the eyes. I think teeth are the windows to the soul."

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Can you believe we both met great guys at the same time? Maybe it's an omen.

"Can you believe we both met great guys at the same time? Maybe it's an omen."

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Oh! I hope so. This almost makes me wanna lift a weight.

"Oh! I hope so. This almost makes me wanna lift a weight."

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Well, that sounds great.

"Well, that sounds great."

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Okay, bye.

"Okay, bye."

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Hey, so we have an appointment

"Hey, so we have an appointment"

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to show the place in your building to a client tomorrow.

"to show the place in your building to a client tomorrow."

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Oh, it is like the world has aligned,

"Oh, it is like the world has aligned,"

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and everything is Michael, Michael, Michael.

"and everything is Michael, Michael, Michael."

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The client is Claire.

"The client is Claire."

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So much for the fucking universe. How did she hear about it?

"So much for the fucking universe. How did she hear about it?"

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She saw our video on the website.

"She saw our video on the website."

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-And what is wrong with Claire?

"-And what is wrong with Claire?"

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She loves you.

"She loves you."

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Yeah. Yeah. A little too much.

"Yeah. Yeah. A little too much."

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Listen to these texts that she sent just this week.

"Listen to these texts that she sent just this week."

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-Monday, "Do you wanna go for a walk?" -Sounds nice.

"-Monday, "Do you wanna go for a walk?" -Sounds nice."

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Tuesday, "Do you wanna be my plus-one?"

"Tuesday, "Do you wanna be my plus-one?""

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A party with free alcohol? Oh, she is terrible.

"A party with free alcohol? Oh, she is terrible."

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Wednesday, "Can you tell what I did to my chin?"

"Wednesday, "Can you tell what I did to my chin?""

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"No? Well, good. I didn't do anything. Or did I?"

""No? Well, good. I didn't do anything. Or did I?""

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If she lives in the same building as me, these texts will be drop-bys.

"If she lives in the same building as me, these texts will be drop-bys."

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Well, and don't take this the wrong way,

"Well, and don't take this the wrong way,"

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your building is probably way too down-market for Claire Lewis.

"your building is probably way too down-market for Claire Lewis."

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I love it! The light here is fabulous!

"I love it! The light here is fabulous!"

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-And these high ceilings-- -They're what makes it feel so spacious.

"-And these high ceilings-- -They're what makes it feel so spacious."

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You need to be aware there are no amenities in this building. No gym--

"You need to be aware there are no amenities in this building. No gym--"

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-You'll get a Peloton. -No doorman.

"-You'll get a Peloton. -No doorman."

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-No one to judge your walk of shame. -Only two bedrooms.

"-No one to judge your walk of shame. -Only two bedrooms."

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-Fewer house guests. -Stop. That's impossible.

"-Fewer house guests. -Stop. That's impossible."

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I need at least three bedrooms. Is there anything bigger in this building?

"I need at least three bedrooms. Is there anything bigger in this building?"

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No, nothing. Sorry.

"No, nothing. Sorry."

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Oh, damn it!

"Oh, damn it!"

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I wanted to move where I knew someone.

"I wanted to move where I knew someone."

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When I found out you lived here, I thought,

"When I found out you lived here, I thought,"

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"Yes! I'll have a friend right there."

""Yes! I'll have a friend right there.""

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"Maybe it won't be so hard."

""Maybe it won't be so hard.""

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Living alone after 25 years… can take some getting used to.

"Living alone after 25 years… can take some getting used to."

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Let me check in some buildings close by.

"Let me check in some buildings close by."

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I'm sure there's something in the neighborhood.

"I'm sure there's something in the neighborhood."

Uncoupled

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