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Clips from Straight Up

"I wanna fuck some pussy."
Straight Up
"I'm straight."
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"I'm straight."
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"I'm straight, I like bean burritos"
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"and motorcycles and"
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"motorcycles and pussy."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Do you come here a lot?"
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"- What? - I said do"
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"you come here a lot?"
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"Oh I thought you said do I come a lot."
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"That's not what I said."
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"Yes on both accounts."
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"My boyfriend is a god."
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"Well as long as he doesn't support religious genocide."
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"You're so cute!"
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"My friend Tracy would love you."
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"- Tracy! - Somebody rang?"
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"Is anybody sitting here?"
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"No I'm completely alone."
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"Are you all right?"
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"No I'm not."
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"- Okay. - My best friend from home"
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"was supposed to fly into L.A. for my birthday,"
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"but then some pigeon ran into the engine..."
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"Oh my God. Avian ingestion?"
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"That's literally my third worst nightmare."
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"What was the death count?"
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"What?"
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"No it just got delayed but then"
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"now I have no one to buy me drinks."
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"I can buy you a drink."
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"Really?"
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"Do you wanna be my birthday buddy?"
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"- Okay. - Yay, let's do shots."
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"My momma wanted me to go to Ohio State"
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"but I was like, "I'm turning 18!""
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"That's 40 in pop star years."
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"Wait how old are you now?"
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"18 but don't worry,"
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"my momma installed me with Southern values."
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"I do not hook up."
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"Like that Kelly Clarkson song,"
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""I Do Not Hook Up"."
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"- Instilled. - What?"
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"And I think Ohio's in the Midwest."
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"What are you tryna say?"
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"So you shouldn't have southern values."
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"Oh yeah you're right."
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"I'm in L.A. now."
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"You've like done this before right?"
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"Oh yeah, yeah lots of times."
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"Oh good. Me too. So many times."
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"- Oh God what is that? - What's wrong?"
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"Oh my God!"
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"Get it off ooh!"
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"It was like that scene in "Alien""
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"after they eat dinner with the,"
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"you know that scene?"
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"Well I don't pay you to laugh at me."
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"Your parents pay me."
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"Yeah well."
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"Frankly Todd, I'm surprised by your behavior."
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"You're willfully barking up the wrong tree,"
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"but I'm unclear as to what you're even chasing."
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"Is it sex?"
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"Is it love?"
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"What do you want?"
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"I don't know what I want."
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"I know what I don't want."
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"I don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life."
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"Excuse me do you work here?"
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"Tell me you don't love me."
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"Tell me you don't love me and I'll let you get on"
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"that Korean Air flight and never look back."
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"My whole life I've been waiting"
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"for you to appear in my life and make me whole."
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"That was good Rory."
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"I think she should be crying the this scene though,"
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"so take a minute and then we'll try again."
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"- Okay. - And I see on your"
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"special skills you can do a Zooey Deschanel impression."
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"I'd love to hear it."
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"It's so soft, I can't believe it's not cotton."
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"I'm probably gonna take that off."
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"Do you have any other questions"
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"before we give this another whirl?"
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"No, no I mean yes,"
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"are you really asking or is that just an obligatory gesture?"
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"I'm really asking."
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"This isn't a comedy right?"
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"- No. - So Jenna has a genius IQ,"
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"it say she's runway gorgeous and she studies Jujutsu."
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"I am having some trouble understanding"
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"why she'd be attracted to Jonah"
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"who doesn't work out, he's unemployed"
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"and they have absolutely nothing in common."
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"Remember Jenna has a troubled past."
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"Right yes, dead dad."
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"Which I get 'cause I have that, so"
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"I can understand if it was like a whole solace,"
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"I just wanna fuck the pain away kind of thing,"
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"although you'd think with all her CIA training"
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"she'd develop some equanimity."
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"But she chooses to stay with him in Wisconsin"
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"over potentially thwarting a North Korean"
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"nuclear missile crisis I mean that's,"
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"that's a lot."
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"People do crazy things when they're in love."
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"Okay now you're just quoting "Hercules"."
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"Right, you done cleaning up?"
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"Hi yes yeah I am."
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"Again I'm so sorry I was late,"
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"my audition went really long and the 405 was backed up."
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"- Just... - No don't even"
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"worry about it yeah I'm firing you."
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"- What? - I would have fired you"
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"when you got in but Jamie called in sick,"
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"- and we were short-handed. - Why didn't you fire Jamie?"
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"I like Jamie,"
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