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Clips from Due Date

"I'm Ethan, this is Peter."
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"-Are you a cop? -Why? Are you not a licensed pharmacist?"
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"Okay, you just look really official."
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"And you know if I ask you if you're a cop and you are a cop, you have to say yes."
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"That's a myth. That's actually incorrect. But I'm not."
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"-No, he's an architect. -I'm an architect. So...."
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"-Wait, it's a myth? -Yeah."
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"Shit! I did not know that this whole fucking time."
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"-That's good news. -You're fucking scary, is what you are."
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"-Come in. The pharmacy's in the kitchen. -Thank you."
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"Hey, Peter, can you watch my kids just for five minutes, while we han-- You know."
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"-Real quick. -Thanks."
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"Who are you?"
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"I'm Peter."
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"I'm Alex. This is Patrick."
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"Great. Alex. Mommy gave you a boy's name."
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"What's that supposed to mean?"
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"Alex is also a name for a boy."
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"So your mom kind of screwed you."
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"Sorry, my hand slipped."
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"That one I just got in. It's an Afghan blend of Wild Widow and AK-47."
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"You know, I'm not crazy about blends."
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"I find that the high is a bit shapeless."
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"A purist. Well, that's cool."
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"You'd probably love Northern Lights."
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"I mean, this has got great body. It smokes like a fucking dream."
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"Oh, that's just Barry. He's renting a room from me."
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"Hey, Barry. How you doing? I'm Ethan."
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"Listen, did you remember to TiVo Judge Mathis?"
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"HEIDI : Yeah. It's on there, if you just look at the menu."
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"Nice perm, man. Well done. Well done on that perm."
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"Oh, thanks, bro. It's not a perm, it's natural."
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"Nobody gets perms anymore."
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"Wait, wait. Don't tell me. Is that a perm?"
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"Yeah. It's a perm. Yeah."
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"Oh, my God. You didn't have your real hair."
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"-Where do you even get those anymore? -I know! It's like...."
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"I was just kidding about-- This isn't a perm."
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"BARRY : Excuse me? -This isn't a perm. I was joking."
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"-Oh, my God. Thank God. Because I was-- -Ha, ha!"
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"You got us. You got us both, man."
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"You know, only, like, fucking jerk-offs get perms."
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"-That was good. Very good. -That was hilarious."
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"-Where are you from? -Los Angeles."
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"-Is that where you're going? PETER : Mm-hm."
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"Can you take us with you?"
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"No, but there's an organization called Child Protective Services."
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"-What's this? -It's a tie. You've never seen a tie before?"
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"Why do you wear it?"
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"Because I wear it."
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"-lt looks stupid. -Well, it's not."
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"Just take your hands off of me."
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"Please stop doing that."
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"Stop. Please stop doing that now."
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"-Will you please--? -It's Reggie."
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"Is that right? Well, maybe Reggie needs to take a nap."
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"Hey, quit it. I'm not kidding."
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"(PETER GRUNTS AND PATRICK COUGHING)"
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"You okay, bubba?"
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"-What? -Nothing."
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""Nothing" is right."
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"(IMITATING MARLON BRANDO) And now, you come to me and you say:"
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""Don Corleone, give me justice.""
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"But you don't even have the decency to call me the Godfather."
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"And you come to my house..."
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"...on the day that my daughter is to be married..."
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"...and you ask me to kill someone."
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"For money."
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"But that is not justice."
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"That's amazing. I had chills, like, that second paragraph."
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"When the line-- The murder. That is so fucking good, Ethan."
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"(IN NORMAL VOICE) Thank you. I've been working on the hand gestures to get it right."
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"Did you write that yourself?"
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"No. The Mafia wrote it."
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"HEIDI : Oh, that was so-- It was nice meeting you, anyway."
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"Play it cool, or I'll thump you again."
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"Sure, sure. You all set?"
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"Yeah. Good to go."
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"How were they? They behave themselves?"
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"Pretty much. Pretty much."
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"HEIDI : Oh, good. PETER : Yeah."
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"I mean, they're great kids."
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"We good?"
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"-See you. Good luck. ETHAN : Bye-bye. Bye."
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"Good luck with your acting stuff."
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"MAN (OVER HEADPHONES): --is judging the character."
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"When an actor is preparing a scene..."
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"...first thing is read the scene over many times."
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"First, before you do any work on it, let it work on you."
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"Read the material over and over again. The entire script, if at all possible."
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"PETER : Hey, Hollywood."
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"Card's been declined."
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"-What's that? -Your card? It's no good."
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"-Oh, gosh. -It's okay."
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"You know what? I bet I tapped it out when I rented this car."
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"Great. We'll pay cash. How much you got?"
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"Sixty bucks."
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"You have 60 bucks entirely?"
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"-Yes. -How much did you spend on marijuana?"
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"-On your medicine? -I don't know, around 200 bucks."
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"-Two hundred bucks? -Yeah."
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"Sixty bucks for gas, food, lodging, everything?"
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"She's the only dealer in town. She names her price."
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"What were you thinking when you spent almost all of our money on drugs?"
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"-I don't think in those terms. -What terms do you think in?"
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"I'm not an accountant. I'm not even Jewish."
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"-Are you an adult? -Of course I'm an adult. I'm 23 years old."
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"You are the most shot-out 23-year-old I've ever seen."
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"How have you made it? How have you not run yourself over?"
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"I've done that."
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"How have you survived? That's my question."
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"-Mostly luck. -Yeah."
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"That's what I thought. Just dumb fucking luck."
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"(DOG WHIMPERS)"
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"-Fuck me. -Whoa! For heaven's sakes, Peter."
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"-We're screwed, Ethan. -How so?"
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"-You spent all our money on weed! -It's just another speed bump."
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"You know what? I'm gonna call my wife. She's gonna wire me money. That's it."
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"She can't. You don't have an lD."
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