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Clips from Due Date

"She'll wire it to you. See? That's an adult solving a problem."
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"-Let's go. -I told you I was lucky."
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"Get in the car."
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"Hold on one second. I'm gonna go get a brochure for my scrapbook, okay?"
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"-How do you spell the last name? ETHAN : T-R-E-M-B-L-A-Y."
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"Here we go. Five hundred dollars. Ethan Tremblay."
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"I just need to see an ID."
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"There you go."
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"Yeah, this doesn't say Tremblay."
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"It says Ethan Chase."
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"Oh, jeepers creepers. He's right, he's right."
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"What do you mean, "he's right"?"
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"Ethan Tremblay is my stage name. I'm an actor."
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"-Your stage name. What is your real name? -Ethan Chase."
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"-lt doesn't sound like an actor's name. -Ethan Chase does."
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"Ethan Tremblay doesn't make any goddamn sense."
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"It sounds like it was made up."
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"Yeah, I made it up."
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"Ethan, I know you made it up. It's your fucking stage name."
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"Why did you have my wife wire money to your stage name?"
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"-I wasn't thinking. -Right."
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"Just trying to commit to the new name."
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"Do you guys wanna discuss this, perhaps out in the parking lot?"
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"One sec. Do you have anything else with your name on it?"
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"-Yes. Of course. Yes, yes. PETER : Good."
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"What was I thinking?"
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"PETER : He has two names. -That's fantastic."
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"But one sec."
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"-What the fuck is this? -It's an ID."
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"It's a photo lD."
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"-No, I can't accept this either. -Why?"
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"Because it's a picture of yourself. Anyone could take a picture..."
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"...in a beautiful turtleneck, put whatever name they want."
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"But why go to all that trouble just for 500 bucks?"
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"I don't know why you would, but you could."
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"So I get to call my pregnant wife and have her drive all the way to Western Union."
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"Start this whole process all over again, send it to the correct name..."
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"...and we'll be good."
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"-Absolutely. PETER : Great."
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"We'll have to do that tomorrow. We close in five minutes."
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"It's 6:35, sir."
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"What are you, my boss? You make the hours?"
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"I say when we close. I got reservations at Chili's. I'm meeting my boys."
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"-You have a reservation at Chili's? LONNIE : Mm-hm."
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"That's actually smart. I mean, it gets busy on a Wednesday night."
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"Are you gonna stare at me?"
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"Do your fucking job until your shift is over, hillbilly."
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"-Keep dreaming, faggot. No way in hell. -Oh, really?"
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"Excuse me, Peter. Sir."
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"I'm sorry about my friend. We really just need the money to get to Los Angeles..."
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"...so he can be there for the birth of his first child."
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"That's such a sweet story. You know where I was when my daughter was born?"
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"ETHAN : Chili's? -lraq."
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"How about I call my sergeant in Fallujah and tell him your story, see what he thinks?"
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"Aren't you closing? Is it gonna take a long time?"
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"He's being sarcastic, Ethan, and also letting us know..."
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"...that he's a "battle-hardened" veteran..."
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"...who did some half-assed tour and talks about it all the time."
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"How dare you."
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"-Smooth move, that. -You're sick."
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"You fucked up. Bigtime."
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"-I fucked up? -Yeah."
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"I fucked up bigtime?"
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"You spit on your own window."
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"-Let's get out of here. -Hey, sport?"
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"What were you saying about my half-assed tour of duty?"
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"-I'm sorry. I had no idea. LONNIE : No idea what?"
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"-I'm handicapable? PETER : Handicapable."
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"-How could you know? -I couldn't know, and I'm sorry."
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"Can I tell you something? Honestly, it's my fault. I'm just having a bad day."
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"LONNIE : You had a bad day? -Yeah."
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"It's about to get a whole lot worse."
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"-Okay, now put that away before you-- ETHAN : Help!"
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"Oh, I know that shit hurt, huh?"
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"-Ah. Fucking hick. ETHAN : Oh, God."
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"LONNIE : The kid's got moves."
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"You wanna fuck up my dinner plans, I'll fuck you up."
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"(PETER YELLS)"
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"I call that little move "the wheelbarrow.""
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"ETHAN : Peter, get up, get up. -Come on. Come on."
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"-Courtesy of Western Union, huh? -Hold on one second."
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"-Oh, where you going, huh? PETER : Call the cops."
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"LONNIE : Fuck the cops."
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"Here comes the train. Choo-choo!"
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"(SINGING) It's closing time"
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"Time to roll to Chili's"
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"And chow down with my fuckin' boys"
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"You okay, buddy?"
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"Don't call me that. Buddies have each other's backs when an assault takes place."
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"Peter, that man was handicapped."
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"You can call me Peter. Or Mr. Highman."
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"I'll call you Mr. Chase. Unless that was a fake lD too."
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"Why you have a stage name is beyond me. You're not really an actor."
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"What does that mean, "really an actor"? What is a real actor?"
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"A real actor is someone who can really act."
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"Well, go ahead, give me an action to do. Give me a scene."
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"-No. I don't want to. -You should."
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"Okay. I'm Julia Roberts."
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"You have terminal cancer."
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"We're engaged."
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"Break the news to me."
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"Julia Roberts..."
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"...as you know, we're engaged."
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"I have terminal cancer."
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"Awful."
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"-What? -Sorry, that's my feedback."
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"-I thought that was really good. -Nope."
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"I'll give you one more shot. It's Super Bowl Sunday."
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"You're a coach with a spotty career."
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"You're down 31 points."
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"Bust into the locker room and fire the guys up."
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"All or nothing. Action."
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"-Stupid. That would never be in a movie. -It's in a movie every two years."
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"Every two years."
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"Okay, guys, we need to get out there."
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"Really need to get going. Pollard, what are you doing?"
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"You're acting like a girl out there. What are you, a girl or something?"
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"Jackson, come on, man, you gotta get yourself together."
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"-What are you, a girl or something? -Let's up the stakes. Your wife calls."
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"She wants a divorce."
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