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Clips from Master of None - Ladies and Gentlemen (S01E01)

"Are we ever gonna get to order a drink?"
Master of None
"This clown's been muddling cucumbers for 20 minutes."
Master of None
"Bro, here's the move."
Master of None
"You make eye contact, then you flash the cash."
Master of None
"Check this out."
Master of None
"Hmm?"
Master of None
"Hey, it's working. He's looking over here."
Master of None
"Yeah, yeah."
Master of None
"Huh?"
Master of None
"Aw, man. Game over."
Master of None
"Look at that."
Master of None
"[Dev] Big surprise."
Master of None
"So he's gonna serve the hot girl"
Master of None
"instead of tending to the lovely, large Caucasian man"
Master of None
"and his charming Indian friend."
Master of None
"If that bozo thinks he's getting a tip"
Master of None
"after this bullshit,"
Master of None
"he's right."
Master of None
"I'm actually too afraid of the awkwardness"
Master of None
"of not tipping."
Master of None
"You could always give him a dollar"
Master of None
"and then give him a mean mug afterwards."
Master of None
"Just like... [grunts]"
Master of None
"- [grunts] - That's good."
Master of None
"- Real mean. - Thank you."
Master of None
"- Hey, hi. I'm Derek. - Hi, Derek."
Master of None
"And I just got us both a shot of tequila."
Master of None
"Oh, nah, I don't really want a shot."
Master of None
"Great, so I just paid for these"
Master of None
"and now I have to throw them out?"
Master of None
"Um, sorry?"
Master of None
"Whatever."
Master of None
"So, uh, we should hang out sometime."
Master of None
"- Can I get your number? - Oh, that's so nice."
Master of None
"I, uh... I got to... I'm gonna catch up with my friends."
Master of None
"What?"
Master of None
"But we got something..."
Master of None
"[both laughing and speaking indistinctly]"
Master of None
"Uh, so what's up with you and purple shirt over there?"
Master of None
"Oh, my God, so hot, right?"
Master of None
"We've been vibing all night,"
Master of None
"doing some drinks, doing some dancing."
Master of None
"It's a great girl."
Master of None
"Why'd you come back to talk to me? Go talk to her."
Master of None
"Dude, you got to let them breathe a little bit, play a little hard to get."
Master of None
"You know these girls want what they can't have."
Master of None
"It's true."
Master of None
"Fuck!"
Master of None
"- Uh-oh. Sorry, bud. - [sighing]"
Master of None
"Well, on a side note, uh, I realize I hate bars."
Master of None
"I don't want to be here in this sweaty mess."
Master of None
"I'd much rather be at home watching TV,"
Master of None
"cuddling with Rachel."
Master of None
"Dude, I'm so jealous of your setup, man."
Master of None
"I'm out here chasing random women,"
Master of None
"and you're at home with this beautiful,"
Master of None
"intelligent girlfriend you actually"
Master of None
"like spending time with?"
Master of None
"You're nurturing this fulfilling and rich..."
Master of None
"Oh, my God, she stopped making out with that dude."
Master of None
"I got to make my move."
Master of None
"I think she really liked me."
Master of None
"But she did go home with that guy"
Master of None
"that she was making out with."
Master of None
"Girls are so annoying."
Master of None
"[Dev] Sorry, buddy."
Master of None
"Is anybody going this way?"
Master of None
"- I'm getting a cab. - Okay."
Master of None
"Yeah, we're just gonna grab the subway."
Master of None
"All right. I'll see you guys."
Master of None
"- See you. - Bye."
Master of None
"[somber piano music]"
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"Man, it's colder than they said it was gonna be."
Master of None
"It's supposed to be nice tomorrow."
Master of None
"You want to keep talking about the weather?"
Master of None
"I could go either way."
Master of None
"Let's keep going."
Master of None
"Here's a thing."
Master of None
"If it's cold outside, I think they should"
Master of None
"make it cold inside also."
Master of None
"'Cause, let's say I'm dressed for the cold"
Master of None
"and it's not cold inside,"
Master of None
"now I'm sweating wherever I go."
Master of None
"They should make every place one temperature."
Master of None
"Who's the "they" in that scenario?"
Master of None
"Business owners, man!"
Master of None
"[haunting music]"
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"Hey, it's faster if we cut through the park."
Master of None
"Oh, cool, man."
Master of None
"[upbeat music]"
Master of None
"[Derek] Hey!"
Master of None
"It's me from the bar!"
Master of None
"Remember?"
Master of None
"Well, can't we just talk for a second?"
Master of None
"Watch out! Watch out!"
Master of None
"What, what, what?"
Master of None
"You stepped in dog poop."
Master of None
"Aw, fuck! My favorite sneakies!"
Master of None
"Now I got to wipe out the poo."
Master of None
"Ah, just go."
Master of None
"[haunting music]"
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"[knock at door]"
Master of None
"Let's go get some tacos!"
Master of None
"Dude, please leave."
Master of None
"[Derek] Come on."
Master of None
"Give a nice guy a shot."
Master of None
"Let a nice guy win for once."
Master of None
"Oh, man, I'm starting to feel like"
Master of None
"this relationship's not working out."
Master of None
"Hello?"
Master of None
"Tell me where I went wrong. Just lay it out for me."
Master of None
"- Yeah, I, uh, need assistance. - Give it to me straight. Be honest."
Master of None
"[upbeat music]"
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"Oh, man."
Master of None
"The sun is out, and that means barbecues."
Master of None
"At Garden Depot, they have the best deals"
Master of None
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