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Clips from Master of None - Ladies and Gentlemen (S01E01)

"on the biggest grills."
Master of None
"It's summertime."
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"Let's get cooking."
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"Save up to 40% on our top grill brands"
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"all summer long."
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"Get them..."
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"while they're hot."
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"That looks fantastic."
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"Great work, guys."
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"Great fucking energy out there."
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"You're looking good, ladies."
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"All right, we'll do one more take."
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"Let's shoot the fuck out of this Garden Depot ad."
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"Yeah!"
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"How was your weekend? Do anything fun?"
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"Uh, well, my friend had this birthday party"
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"at 169 Bar Saturday night."
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"Oh, whoa. I was at that bar too."
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"No way, that's crazy. How was your night?"
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"Not great."
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"So it took forever to order a drink there,"
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"and on my way home... stepped in dog poo."
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"Ruined my favorite sneakies."
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"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."
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"Yeah. So annoying."
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"I tried to wash them out, but, um, I just can't get rid of the smell."
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"And then I tried to order them online... Out of stock."
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"So now I got to go to a real store this weekend"
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"and buy them in person?"
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"I don't have that kind of time."
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"Hmm."
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"How was your night?"
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"Um..."
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"[indie rock music]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"And then she had to call the police."
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"It's crazy."
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"I can't believe the guy, like, followed her all the way home."
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"Well, I've been followed before."
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"Really?"
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"Yeah, a few times."
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"A couple months ago, I was in a grocery store,"
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"and this guy started following me around, so I left."
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"I went into Smoothie Palace."
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"He followed me into there."
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"Finally, I had to go to that pet store, Le Petit Puppy,"
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"and pretend I was shopping for a puppy for 30 minutes"
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"until he finally went away."
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"Ooh, is that the pet store where they got the pup cam"
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"where you can watch the pups play online?"
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"There's, like, a live feed of the pup pen?"
Master of None
"Sorry, not an appropriate response to that story."
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"Denise, you ever been followed?"
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"Hell, yeah."
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"One time, I went to the movies by myself, right?"
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"Theater full of empty seats."
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"This dude comes and sits down right next to me,"
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"being a creeper the whole time."
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"Then after the movie, he followed my ass home."
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"Had to pretend my cell phone was a Taser just to scare him away."
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"Damn. What movie was it?"
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"Failure to Launch."
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"The Matthew McConaughey rom-com? Why'd you see that?"
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"Okay, after that story, you're criticizing me"
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"for my movie choice?"
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"Kind of."
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"You saw it in the theaters?"
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"What, you see the trailer and you thought"
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"it looked interesting?"
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"Okay, first off, Sarah Jessica Parker is bae."
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"And you know I got diverse cultural tastes."
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"Uh, interesting that you'd go see Failure to Launch,"
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"but when I invited you to see You, Me and Dupree,"
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"you said, "Nah.""
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"Uh, 'cause my girl"
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"Sarah Jessica Parker isn't in that one."
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"True. She did kill it in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past."
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"That's Jennifer Garner."
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"She killed it too."
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"Look, none of that matters."
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"If you're born with a vagina, everybody knows"
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"creepy dudes are just a part of the deal."
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"Yeah, there are a million things that guys"
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"have no clue about that are so annoying."
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"I don't tell anybody about half of it."
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"Like what?"
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"Uh, okay, so you remember when we went to brunch"
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"and we both Instagrammed the picture of that frittata?"
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"Ooh, that frittata was fluffy as hell."
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"Okay, pull it up."
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"What are your comments?"
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"Um, I got one from Arnold."
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""Yum town. Population: Dev.""
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"All right."
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"Check mine out."
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""I want to fuck your face"?"
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"Who said that?"
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"Some random person"
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"with a dick who wanted to use it to fuck my face."
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"It's not even a picture of my face."
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"It's eggs."
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"That's why I had to make my account private."
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"Oh, man, that's the worst."
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"Listen, tell us something."
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"What can two gentlemen like us do to help?"
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"I don't know."
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"Don't do that stuff?"
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"So don't follow women around,"
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"and don't write, "I want to fuck your face,""
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"on Instagram?"
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"I'll do it."
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"Although, just so you guys know, even before all of this,"
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"I consider myself a feminist."
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"Really, Arnold?"
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"A feminist is a person that thinks men and women"
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"should be treated equally."
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"And I fully support that."
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"So, my good sir, I'm a feminist."
Master of None
"Wow, I'm really impressed you knew that."
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"Dude, I know tons of fun facts."
Master of None
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