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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Tom Urinates on Boston/First Responder (S01E01)

"- Come on, guys, please. This is a lot of pressure."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"both: One, two, three."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Guys, please, I can't pee-- - Four, five."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- With the countdown. - Seven."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can you please? - C'mon!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I can't imagine any urine's about to come out of me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, come here. Help me grab this kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, no, no. - Come here!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You had your chance. - This is socially--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Now get outta here!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tommy. Holy shit. Is that you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, Uncle Bill. Hey."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God. Come here. This kid's my nephew."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Give me a hug, you big goofy-looking son of a bitch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Come here. - Hey. Oh, whoa, whoa."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [growling] - Not in the bathroom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Uncle Bill, it's too much."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Listen, it's a long story,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but I'm actually throwing out the first pitch of the game."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow. - And I needed to pee first."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's an emergency. I gotta find a bathroom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. Okay. Listen, listen."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"As the senior most ball boy here, I got full access."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's amazing. - Yeah, come on."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Come on, I'll show you. - Oh, my god."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Sorry. He's under my watch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, listen, I hate to pull rank here,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but ball boy outranks security guard."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ah, I don't know, Bill."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Does ball boy outrank anything?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- There's no time to argue. We gotta pee. Come on!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We're gonna make a pee-pee ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We're gonna make a pee-pee-pee-pee ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We're gonna make a pee-pee ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All right, Tommy. See that grass out there?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That grass is all yours."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[heavenly music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, thank you so much. This is perfect."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Anywhere you want. [zipper unzips]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, this is a pleasure. Oh, thank you, Uncle Bill."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You're welcome, man. - Bro, what the eff, man?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, oh, I'm good. I'm with Uncle Bill."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, you're not good. What are you doing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm with Uncle Bill, I said."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You're pissing on Babe Ruth's original mitt from 1914."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no. - Look at this kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's pissing on Ruth's mitt."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[crowd booing] - What the hell?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, that's disgusting. - You suck!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No. Honest mistake. I meant no disrespect."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is the ultimate disrespect, you little shit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no, if we blame anyone, I mean, let's blame"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Casey Affleck, right? Right, Uncle Bill?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uncle? No. I never met this kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm the senior Ball Boy. I got stuff to do."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uncle Bill. - Get him, guys!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[all shouting]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[exciting music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Get in here. Get in here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I got a text saying that our very own Tom"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"is going to throw out the first pitch at Fenway!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Are you shitting me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sad day at Fenway"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"as there will be no ceremonial first pitch thrown."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"A child named Tom was scheduled to participate,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but instead, he pulled out his wiener"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and urinated on Babe Ruth's mitt,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"further enflaming tensions..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, that was disappointing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's why I don't like to get excited."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And there he is, the little maniac"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that urinated on Babe Ruth's mitt."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This child right here, in a nutshell,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"is what's wrong with sports."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[upbeat rock music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, take this the right way,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but I'ma put some feelers out for a new lab partner."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why, you're not happy with the volcano?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, it look like a pile of manure!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It don't even erupt. - You know what?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I grabbed some extra stuff from home."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's see if this works."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What you got? What you got?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We got blackberry brandy, windshield washer fluid,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and mountain breeze air freshener."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. - That's gotta burn, right?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We can work with this. - Right?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Put these on. - Nice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'll stand at a safe distance."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You start dumping things until it explodes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why am I doing all the work on this team?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I built the volcano. - Tom, we've been over this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm the scientist. You're the unskilled laborer."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Now start dumping. - Okay, step back."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let me show you how science works."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"A couple fluid ounces of this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Brandy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's weird. It's not erupting."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Here, here. Let's do this the Nelson way."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh. Whoa. - Oh, no! Oh, no, flames!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, no, what's happening? Oh, no!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Everybody run! Run for your lives!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is nobody gonna put out the stupid volcano thing--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[scoffs] Okay. I guess I'll do it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[horn blares] - Hey, hey, kids."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Your principal called me in to talk about fire safety."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Now, I know I'm not supposed to curse in front of you,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but who knows what a pussy is?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Um, a person like Tom? - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Exactly. Come here, buddy. This little guy right here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. - He saw the flames."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no-- - And he ran."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You got it all wrong."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I ran to get the fire extinguisher."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm a hero. - You fled the scene."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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