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Clips from Bad Santa 2

"Who gives a shit? As long as she doesn't get in the way."
Bad Santa 2
"- Can you crack the safe? - Of course I can crack the fucking safe."
Bad Santa 2
"Probably take me about three minutes. Three and a half tops."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, you shave a minute off that, you may be good for something."
Bad Santa 2
"- What about the alarm system? - It's a Centaur 2100."
Bad Santa 2
"We power it down, we have ten minutes before it reboots."
Bad Santa 2
"But I'm gonna need a key to the electrical room to access it."
Bad Santa 2
"- It's the only way in. - Ah, shit, how are we gonna get that?"
Bad Santa 2
"Don't even think about it, Willie."
Bad Santa 2
"That big bitch is mine."
Bad Santa 2
"He should show you some respect."
Bad Santa 2
"- You're the talent, not him. - Hey, Randall!"
Bad Santa 2
"Mind giving me a hand over here?"
Bad Santa 2
"I've gotta get this stuff to the auditorium."
Bad Santa 2
"He'd love to, darling. Strong, strapping man like him."
Bad Santa 2
"Clitoris, son. Do it for Mama."
Bad Santa 2
"Thanks, Sunny."
Bad Santa 2
"She's so sweet. I wish I had a hundred volunteers like her."
Bad Santa 2
"Oh, yeah, she's something. I'm sure they only made one of her."
Bad Santa 2
"How you doing, beautiful?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Gina, was it? - That's right."
Bad Santa 2
"- Ronald. We haven't officially met. - Well, hello, Ronald. Officially."
Bad Santa 2
"I bet you got no idea how beautiful you really are."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't know. I think I've got some idea."
Bad Santa 2
"- Oh, you do, do you? - Maybe a little."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't mean to be indiscreet, but I do pretty well."
Bad Santa 2
"So if you can't bring your A game, don't even try."
Bad Santa 2
"Sweetheart, I'm not sure you could handle my A game."
Bad Santa 2
"You get one hit of me and you'll be addicted."
Bad Santa 2
"- I like your confidence. - I'd light you up like the Fourth of July."
Bad Santa 2
"Look, Ronald, I'm just gonna cut to the chase here."
Bad Santa 2
"I am strictly first-class."
Bad Santa 2
"I'm talking Chrysler 300, factory-direct, fully loaded."
Bad Santa 2
"And after that... lobster."
Bad Santa 2
"Now if you think you can handle that,"
Bad Santa 2
"then maybe, just maybe, I'll pencil you in."
Bad Santa 2
"Bye."
Bad Santa 2
"♪ Joy to the world, the Lord is come ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"Aren't they great?"
Bad Santa 2
"Regent likes to focus on the business, but I'm like you."
Bad Santa 2
"I am all about those kids and the Christmas concert."
Bad Santa 2
"We all participate."
Bad Santa 2
"Volunteers, staff. If you're interested, you could join us."
Bad Santa 2
"You outta your goddamn mind?"
Bad Santa 2
"I ain't dancing around with a bunch of candy canes and shit."
Bad Santa 2
"Because I'm all about the birth of Christmas."
Bad Santa 2
"You know, the wise guys"
Bad Santa 2
"kicked him out of the hotel and the ejaculate conception"
Bad Santa 2
"and the drummer that didn't have shit to give him but some perfume..."
Bad Santa 2
"And the King Midas or one of them threatened to cut the kid in half,"
Bad Santa 2
"turn him into gold and but, see, I..."
Bad Santa 2
"It's a heavy deal for me. Pretty damn heavy."
Bad Santa 2
"Are you talking about the true meaning of Christmas?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Exactly. - Right."
Bad Santa 2
"Don't forget about the meeting tomorrow night at 7:30."
Bad Santa 2
"- Oh, yeah. - Hey, it's only scary the first time."
Bad Santa 2
"- Does this bus go to Chicago? - No."
Bad Santa 2
"Son, this bus goes to the Arrowhead Premium Outlets."
Bad Santa 2
"- Is that close to Chicago? - No."
Bad Santa 2
"Okay."
Bad Santa 2
"How do I look?"
Bad Santa 2
"You look like one of those trolls that gang-fucked Willy Wonka."
Bad Santa 2
"Good one, shitstick."
Bad Santa 2
"Hey, Shaft, you ready to stick it to this chick tonight?"
Bad Santa 2
"Bitch, let me tell you something."
Bad Santa 2
"When I was at the pen, everyone called me tripod."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, if your legs are six inches long,"
Bad Santa 2
"that's not that big of a fucking deal, see."
Bad Santa 2
"Now, if you're six foot five and they called you tripod,"
Bad Santa 2
"then you're talking about something."
Bad Santa 2
"- Miserable fucks, both of you. - Mm."
Bad Santa 2
"- Goddamn, did you eat your own shit? - No, I've been eating caramels."
Bad Santa 2
"You know how caramels make Mama belch. Remember?"
Bad Santa 2
"No. No, I don't."
Bad Santa 2
"No, come on. You remember."
Bad Santa 2
"Look, when you were a baby,"
Bad Santa 2
"I used to chew and feed you caramels, just like a mama bird does."
Bad Santa 2
"I'd chew and chew and chew till they were all milky."
Bad Santa 2
"Goddamn."
Bad Santa 2
"And then I'd... spit them right in your little mouth."
Bad Santa 2
"And you'd just, you'd just squint your little..."
Bad Santa 2
"Can't you see I'm trying to eat a fucking pizza here?"
Bad Santa 2
"I swear to God, a fucking electric oven."
Bad Santa 2
"Anyway, it took this new set of teeth to finally see the light."
Bad Santa 2
"Jesus, I already need a fucking drink."
Bad Santa 2
"People ask me if I miss my old teeth."
Bad Santa 2
"But sometimes, you have to lose something to gain something."
Bad Santa 2
"Now, I'm dating again, and I'm ready to find The One."
Bad Santa 2
"Thank you for that, Jason."
Bad Santa 2
"- With no teeth, he ought to try dudes. - Terrible."
Bad Santa 2
"Would anyone else care to share?"
Bad Santa 2
"Anyone?"
Bad Santa 2
"The stage is yours."
Bad Santa 2
"- Hi, I'm Diane and I'm an alcoholic. - Hi, Diane."
Bad Santa 2
"Maybe next time, you'll feel comfortable speaking."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't know about that."
Bad Santa 2
"Okay. Fine."
Bad Santa 2
"Maybe you can just talk to me if that's easier."
Bad Santa 2
"Do you ever feel like you hit rock bottom?"
Bad Santa 2
"You gotta be shitting me."
Bad Santa 2
"I sure did. In my late 20's."
Bad Santa 2
"You know, some people can have one drink and they're fine."
Bad Santa 2
"I am not that kind of person. I get wild."
Bad Santa 2
"- I'm all ears. How wild? - What?"
Bad Santa 2
"You mean like sex stuff? That kind of thing?"
Bad Santa 2
"Yes."
Bad Santa 2
"Alcohol led me to make some not-so-good choices."
Bad Santa 2
"But I've cleaned up my life."
Bad Santa 2
"- I met Regent... - Wait a minute, hang on."
Bad Santa 2
"You picked that douche bag up when you were sober?"
Bad Santa 2
"He was different when he was in the Peace Corps."
Bad Santa 2
"He helped me find focus."
Bad Santa 2
"You don't understand, it was bad. Three-ways, five-ways..."
Bad Santa 2
"Five-ways? How many holes do you have?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Anyway, the drinking had to stop. - Yeah, I guess so."
Bad Santa 2
"It was probably making you forget all the fun you had."
Bad Santa 2
"I'm talking about addiction, Mr. Cook."
Bad Santa 2
"Like sex? Or booze?"
Bad Santa 2
"Listen, I'll tell you what,"
Bad Santa 2
"I'd like to get you in that back seat there."
Bad Santa 2
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