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Clips from Bad Santa 2

"Well, I'm proud to say that my pussy is color-blind, so you never know."
Bad Santa 2
"Oh!"
Bad Santa 2
"Whoa! You go, little sperm. Get up in there."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, you don't see something like that every day."
Bad Santa 2
"Ow! Bottles! Recycle that shit!"
Bad Santa 2
"Oh! What the fuck is tha... Oh, shit! No!"
Bad Santa 2
"Hey."
Bad Santa 2
"I always wanted to fuck me a Santa."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, I always wanted to shit on a tattooed dick"
Bad Santa 2
"so we're perfect for each other."
Bad Santa 2
"- Cook, let's go. - See you in my dreams, chief."
Bad Santa 2
"Thank you."
Bad Santa 2
"You're not the first volunteer to go off the rails."
Bad Santa 2
"Lucky for you, Giving City has a high standing in the community,"
Bad Santa 2
"so you won't get charged."
Bad Santa 2
"You can turn in your suit when you clean yourself up."
Bad Santa 2
"Now, hang on a second. You're firing me?"
Bad Santa 2
"I rooted out a pervert."
Bad Santa 2
"You should be throwing me a fucking parade."
Bad Santa 2
"And we're very grateful. But you reek of whiskey."
Bad Santa 2
"You know the rules and you're flouting them."
Bad Santa 2
"Flouting?"
Bad Santa 2
"I never sucked jizz out of nobody's ass. I mean, with a straw."
Bad Santa 2
"I believe that's felching."
Bad Santa 2
"Not that I would know."
Bad Santa 2
"Uh, happy holidays, Mr. Cook. Consider your freedom a gift from me."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, hang on a second. Hang on! I only had one drink."
Bad Santa 2
"And that was just to keep warm out there. I'm freezing my nuts off."
Bad Santa 2
"And if we're being honest here, you, you guys should be supplying us"
Bad Santa 2
"with some kind of electric underwear or some shit."
Bad Santa 2
"Oh, well, if we're being honest, I don't like being lied to."
Bad Santa 2
"- Please. I need this. - Why do you care so much?"
Bad Santa 2
"Why do I care? Why do I care."
Bad Santa 2
"I'll tell you why I care. Because the world's a fucking shit hole."
Bad Santa 2
"But when I put this suit on, I feel like..."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, I feel like General MacArthur must have felt when he put his uniform on"
Bad Santa 2
"and went and killed all them Filipinos."
Bad Santa 2
"Look, I, I put up with a lot of shit from kids..."
Bad Santa 2
"For the kids. I won't piss on the suit. I really won't."
Bad Santa 2
"I mean, give a broke-dick motherfucker a chance, will you?"
Bad Santa 2
"Fine. I'll give you a second chance. If you give me a chance to help you."
Bad Santa 2
"All right."
Bad Santa 2
"How we looking, Alice?"
Bad Santa 2
"Well, according to this report,"
Bad Santa 2
"Giving City's gonna lose a record amount of money this year."
Bad Santa 2
"Ugh, every time you say that, my dick gets so hard."
Bad Santa 2
"- Okay. - Hey, why don't we just do it right now."
Bad Santa 2
"- Come on. - No."
Bad Santa 2
"I'll up your commission to five percent."
Bad Santa 2
"Make it ten, and I'll let you do that thing with my shoe."
Bad Santa 2
"Both shoes. And you have to watch."
Bad Santa 2
"Deal."
Bad Santa 2
"- You can't smoke here, sir. - So call the fucking law."
Bad Santa 2
"And while they're rolling their fat asses down here,"
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"I'll be smoking like an old Buick, all right?"
Bad Santa 2
"Arrested? Christ! William."
Bad Santa 2
"- Not arrested. I was detained. - Yeah. Shot of gin."
Bad Santa 2
"What were you thinking? You could have fucked this whole thing up."
Bad Santa 2
"- I handled it. - Mmm."
Bad Santa 2
"Told her I'd go to an AA meeting with her."
Bad Santa 2
"Don't buy their shit, William. No such thing as an alcoholic."
Bad Santa 2
"Just a sign of a weak liver."
Bad Santa 2
"I said I fucking handled it. What are you, deaf?"
Bad Santa 2
"Well, you talk like you have a cock in your mouth, shitstick."
Bad Santa 2
"Hey, you know why we call him "shitstick"?"
Bad Santa 2
"Because even when he was a baby, he tried to butt-fuck everything."
Bad Santa 2
"- Goddamn it. - Stuffed monkey, neighbor's dog."
Bad Santa 2
"I'm telling you, if it had a butt, he'd try to fuck it."
Bad Santa 2
"He's with his little nub, going."
Bad Santa 2
"Anyway, I think you ought to be working the sexual angle with her,"
Bad Santa 2
"because I know for a fact that that husband isn't getting it done."
Bad Santa 2
"That guy never rocked a clit in his life."
Bad Santa 2
"And that is one piece of motherly advice I hope you took to heart."
Bad Santa 2
"You motorboat that O-button till she's speaking in tongues."
Bad Santa 2
"- You know what "son" means, right? - When did you turn into such a pussy?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Don't worry, I'm fine. - I'm not worried."
Bad Santa 2
"I just don't want you hacking up your lung in my drink, okay?"
Bad Santa 2
"Not a chance. Nah, this chassis' built to last."
Bad Santa 2
"You know, I smoked two packs of menthols a day,"
Bad Santa 2
"washed it down with a liter of this gin..."
Bad Santa 2
"And I could still fill that shot glass with this man's jizz."
Bad Santa 2
"- I said I don't give a shit, okay? - Fine. I get it. You're mad at me."
Bad Santa 2
"You think I was really ready to be a mom at 13?"
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"Huh? We were gonna wait at least another year."
Bad Santa 2
"I mean, the one time your son of a bitch father"
Bad Santa 2
"didn't put it in my ass, I had to go and get pregnant."
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"- Shit happens. - That's fucking beautiful."
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"Look, I'm not gonna pretend I was a perfect mother."
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah, no shit."
Bad Santa 2
"You made me take the fall for you when I was 11."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, there's no sense in us both going down."
Bad Santa 2
"Besides, it made a man of you. You are who you are because of me."
Bad Santa 2
"No, I'm not anything like you."
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah? Well, you keep telling yourself that."
Bad Santa 2
"Now where's your fucking midget? It's getting late."
Bad Santa 2
"♪ Pop that pussy Hey, pop that pussy, baby ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"What... What is that?"
Bad Santa 2
"Shit!"
Bad Santa 2
"What, do you have a speaker up there?"
Bad Santa 2
"Dorfman, get up here."
Bad Santa 2
"You sure it was a phone ring? Might have just been the fan turning over."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, Dorfman, last time I checked, fans don't "Pop That Pussy.""
Bad Santa 2
"No, I suppose they don't."
Bad Santa 2
"No, I think Diane hired someone to spy on me."
Bad Santa 2
"- Diane? That doesn't sound like her. - I want you to watch her."
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"Anything unusual, I wanna know about it. And cover the whole building."
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"I'm talking microphones, cameras, everything."
Bad Santa 2
"Copy. Ladies' room is already taken care of."
Bad Santa 2
"He's fucking Alice."
Bad Santa 2
"- Go figure. - Why the fuck would you call me?"
Bad Santa 2
"Well, you're the genius who left your ringer on."
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"Because you the only two people I know. Why would you call?"
Bad Santa 2
"What's she doing with that shoe? Oh, God!"
Bad Santa 2
"He heard a noise in the fucking vent. What's the big deal?"
Bad Santa 2
"He heard "Pop That Pussy" in the vent, and that is a big fucking deal."
Bad Santa 2
"Think she knows?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Who? - You know, the redheaded gal, Diane."
Bad Santa 2
"That her husband's fooling around with the help?"
Bad Santa 2
"I'm saying, do you think she knows that her fucking husband"
Bad Santa 2
"is ripping off the goddamn charity?"
Bad Santa 2
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