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Clips from Bad Santa 2

"- What associate? - I'm not at liberty to disclose just yet."
Bad Santa 2
"But they know your work."
Bad Santa 2
"And they want to bring us in and put us up in some fine-ass metropolitan digs"
Bad Santa 2
"and finance the whole operation."
Bad Santa 2
"You're outta your fucking skull."
Bad Santa 2
"What are you gonna do? Try and kill yourself again?"
Bad Santa 2
"That's none of your goddamn business what I do."
Bad Santa 2
"Don't let the door hit you in the ass."
Bad Santa 2
"Or I won't let it hit me in the ass. Whatever the fuck it is."
Bad Santa 2
"Did you even score once while I was away?"
Bad Santa 2
"I'm talking two mil here."
Bad Santa 2
"That's a lot of fat-ass bitches and whiskey."
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck you."
Bad Santa 2
"Why do you have to go so soon? We just got back together."
Bad Santa 2
"Cut that shit out. We're not back together."
Bad Santa 2
"Guess you don't know what today is."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't even know what fucking year it is, kid."
Bad Santa 2
"It's my birthday."
Bad Santa 2
"- Today is your fucking birthday? - Uh-huh."
Bad Santa 2
"I'm 21 . Officially a man."
Bad Santa 2
"Goddamn. You're 21 already. That's creepy."
Bad Santa 2
"- Are you still gonna pop my cherry? - Am I gonna what?"
Bad Santa 2
"No! Fuck no!"
Bad Santa 2
"But you said that when I was 21 that you'd pop my cherry."
Bad Santa 2
"I said I'd get it done by somebody else."
Bad Santa 2
"Besides that, I'm a fucking guy. You didn't turn funny, did you?"
Bad Santa 2
"Am I funny?"
Bad Santa 2
"So you haven't done it with anybody yet."
Bad Santa 2
"Not a man or a woman or an animal or anything."
Bad Santa 2
"No, I waited for you."
Bad Santa 2
"- But surely, you jerked off or... - You mean masturbate, don't you?"
Bad Santa 2
"Well, if you wanna be scientific, yeah, I guess so."
Bad Santa 2
"My friend Ronnie says,"
Bad Santa 2
"it's when you play with your wiener and think about your mother."
Bad Santa 2
"I did it once, but it felt weird."
Bad Santa 2
"She's in heaven with God, you know. Watching me."
Bad Santa 2
"Okay, so here's how it's gonna go down. He's already asked me where his cherry is."
Bad Santa 2
"So you could tell him to put his dick in your purse"
Bad Santa 2
"and he wouldn't know any fucking difference."
Bad Santa 2
"It's gonna be the easiest 20 bucks you ever made."
Bad Santa 2
"Twenty bucks?"
Bad Santa 2
"You must be high on some strong shit, Willie."
Bad Santa 2
"A hundred. Or I'm gonna carry my ass outta this old piece of a room right now."
Bad Santa 2
"All right. Fifty, or I'll just go get your mother."
Bad Santa 2
"Sixty."
Bad Santa 2
"All right."
Bad Santa 2
"And nothing up my ass. You done took all that, Willie."
Bad Santa 2
"Okay."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, let's get to it. I gotta pick up my grandson from ballet."
Bad Santa 2
"- Can I fix you a sandwich? - No."
Bad Santa 2
"- I got your sandwich, baby. - Willie, I made you a sandwich."
Bad Santa 2
"I ain't sticking around. Just give it to Opal after."
Bad Santa 2
"Now, listen, here's how it works."
Bad Santa 2
"She's gonna pull her rig off. And she's gonna get on all fours."
Bad Santa 2
"Now, you stand behind her and drop your rig."
Bad Santa 2
"Then, you're gonna see something that looks like some kind of Japanese food."
Bad Santa 2
"It ain't, so don't eat it. That's the bulls-eye."
Bad Santa 2
"Then you just start tugging on your little soldier."
Bad Santa 2
"Wait till he gets to attention, then poke him in there."
Bad Santa 2
"Keep poking it in there till he spits up."
Bad Santa 2
"You're gonna need a raincoat."
Bad Santa 2
"She'll have one, so don't worry about that."
Bad Santa 2
"As soon as you're done, run to the bathroom, wash your crotch."
Bad Santa 2
"That way, you don't wake up wondering why you got oatmeal in your carpet."
Bad Santa 2
"Breathe through your mouth so that you don't puke."
Bad Santa 2
"Shouldn't be a problem for you. You got it?"
Bad Santa 2
"- You got 60 bucks? - No."
Bad Santa 2
"- What you got? - I have $20."
Bad Santa 2
"Keep it down."
Bad Santa 2
"- I have 20. - Give it to her after."
Bad Santa 2
"- Later, Opal. - Mm-hmm."
Bad Santa 2
"Come on, baby. Come on."
Bad Santa 2
"Get a bite of this pumpernickel bread."
Bad Santa 2
"Damn it, Willie. Hurry up! We're gonna miss our train."
Bad Santa 2
"You see me walking backwards, asshole? I'm coming."
Bad Santa 2
"Kid, get over here and take your pants off."
Bad Santa 2
"No!"
Bad Santa 2
"Ah, fuck."
Bad Santa 2
"♪ Sleigh bells ring Are you listening? ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"♪ In the lane snow is glistening ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"♪ A beautiful sight We're happy tonight ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"♪ Walking in a winter wonderland ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"♪ Gone away is the bluebird In his place is a new bird ♪"
Bad Santa 2
"Here's your ID."
Bad Santa 2
"- "Randall Cook"? - What the fuck wrong with that?"
Bad Santa 2
"Randall sounds Irish. I want something whiter."
Bad Santa 2
"I'm Davis, you're Cook. End of fucking story."
Bad Santa 2
"You got one job this time. Open a safe."
Bad Santa 2
"Till then, just keep your drunken deviant fucking mouth shut."
Bad Santa 2
"You know what you need? You need some pussy."
Bad Santa 2
"I'll see if I can find you a cat somewhere."
Bad Santa 2
"Put that shit away."
Bad Santa 2
""Giving City Foundation."
Bad Santa 2
"Bringing food and shelter to those in need.""
Bad Santa 2
"Hold the fucking phone."
Bad Santa 2
"I traveled all the way across the country to rob a goddamn charity?"
Bad Santa 2
"Why? You got a problem with that?"
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah, you damn right I got a problem with it."
Bad Santa 2
"No way these assholes have 2 million bucks."
Bad Santa 2
"Will you keep it down, man. Moron."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't know."
Bad Santa 2
"- I see they made you some chairs already. - Fuck you."
Bad Santa 2
"He's Cook. I'm Davis. We're here for the orientation."
Bad Santa 2
"Empty your pockets. Place any metal items in the tray."
Bad Santa 2
"What's that?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Cough medicine. - Let me see that."
Bad Santa 2
"That's a level three contraband. I'm gonna have to compensate that."
Bad Santa 2
"The fuck you are."
Bad Santa 2
"All right, big shot. You can stay out here with your GD flask."
Bad Santa 2
"- We'll get it on the way out. - Gina!"
Bad Santa 2
"Show these boys to the line-up. They're late."
Bad Santa 2
"Meeting started ten minutes ago."
Bad Santa 2
"But I think I can sneak you guys in. Come on."
Bad Santa 2
"- Hey, Diane! I got two more. - Come on in, fellas."
Bad Santa 2
"- Goddamn. - That's Diane Hastings."
Bad Santa 2
"She and her husband run the joint."
Bad Santa 2
"So like I was saying, finish filling out these forms"
Bad Santa 2
"and you can drop them off at the front desk, please."
Bad Santa 2
"And then, you can go to the common room and pick up your uniforms."
Bad Santa 2
"I bet that pussy got lips like an orangutan."
Bad Santa 2
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