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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Larry vs. Michael J. Fox (S08E08)

"Thank God he didn't hand you his dick."
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"He could've been shaking and shook that dick up,"
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"handed you the dick, and the dick shot sperm in your face."
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"Yeah, but why would he hand me a dick?"
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"- I mean as an example. - What kind of example is that?"
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"I'm just comparing it to other things you can shake up, right?"
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"- With Parkinson's, right? - You just live in a total dick world, don't you?"
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"- It's a good example. - Right?"
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"What's that?"
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"Is that Parkinson's, hmm?"
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"- You think that's Parkinson's? - Shit. Wow."
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"- He's pissed. - He's pissed."
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"Hi. Oh, look at-- Hey, Greg!"
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"Larry brought you something for your birthday."
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"- Greg! - He's gonna be so excited."
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"Happy Birthday!"
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"Hmm."
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"Oh my God. Let me check. What is it?"
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"- What is it? - What is it?"
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"It's a sewing machine. It's a sewing machine."
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"It's a sewing machine!"
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"Oh my God, I'm gonna make the gone with the wind costume."
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"Meet me in St. Louis, the wizard of oz."
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"- You're gonna make the wizard of oz costume? - Yes!"
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"- Which one? - Dorothy."
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"I love it, I love it, I love it!"
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"Thank you, lord."
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"Thank you, lord? Thank you, Larry."
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"- Thank you, Larry. - You're welcome, Greg."
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"Nana, Nana!"
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"- A sewing machine? - Yeah. He loved it."
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"What, are you trying to turn him gay?"
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"He is a happy, healthy, normal seven-year-old boy."
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"What is the matter with you?"
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"I think he might be gay."
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"Leon! You up?"
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"Yeah, I'm up."
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"This dude is out of fucking control right now."
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"What is going on with him?"
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"All this fuckin' clomping around all fuckin' night?"
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"- I can't fuckin' sleep like this, man. - I know. God!"
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"You'd better hound this dude, man."
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"You'd better go up there and handle this fuckin' guy."
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"This shit don't go down in a black neighborhood. You know what I mean?"
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"All right, I'm gonna go up there."
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"Unless you want to."
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"If I go up there, I will kill this motherfucker."
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"Michael J. Fox about to be Michael J. Fucked-up in a minute."
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"But if you go up there, you and him--"
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"That's a fair fight and shit."
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"- You know what I'm saying? - How is that a fair fight?"
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"Shaking motherfuckers like that, you know,"
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"little kids and shit, old people,"
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"motherfuckers who can't defend themselves, and you--"
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"That's perfect."
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"You two face off-- That's just even Steven."
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"- That's not even Steven. - That's even fuckin' Steven, Larry."
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"You don't think I can get the better of him in a fight?"
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"That shaking shit might come in handy. I don't fuckin' know."
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"Right? You don't know this motherfucker's skills."
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"- All right. - Right?"
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"All right, you watch me, okay?"
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"- I wanna see this shit. - You watch me."
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"This shit don't happen in a black neighborhood. I'm telling you."
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"- Hey, Larry. - Hey."
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"Um..."
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"What's going on up here?"
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"Why? What do you mean what's going on?"
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"There's a lot of clomping on the floor."
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"- It's keeping me up. - Oh oh, it's the boots, the boots."
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"Yeah yeah. My feet cramp."
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"It's called dystonia and I have to wear stiff shoes"
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"to keep them from cramping."
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"It's in my book. It's chapter one. You should read it."
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"At the very least it'll help you get to sleep."
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"Your feet are cramping? Is this a new thing?"
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"No. This has been going on for about 20 years now, Lar."
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"Oh really? How come I haven't heard the clomping before?"
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"You haven't lived here. You've lived in California."
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"I've been living here for over a month. I haven't heard any clomping."
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"- What am I, bullshitting you? - I don't know."
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"I'll tell you what I think. You wanna know what I think, Fox?"
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"- I'm hanging on it. - Are you?"
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"I think you're upset about the shushing."
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"I think you were pissed off about the Hitler mustache on your father-in-law."
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"I think you shook up that can of soda on purpose."
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"And I think you're clomping now"
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"and you've made up some bullshit excuse about your feet,"
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"and it's all under the guise of Parkinson's."
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"That's what I think. Huh?"
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"I thought I was the sickest guy on this block, but you're the new champ."
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"I have a sickness in my brain."
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"You have a sickness in your mind."
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"- Your mind, it's gone over. - Oh, has it?"
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"It's fascinating if it wasn't so fucking tragic."
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"Huh. So you deny the whole thing?"
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"It's all Parkinson's, Larry. It's all Parkinson's."
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"- The head shake at the bar? - Parkinson's."
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"- The soda? - Parkinson's."
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"- The clomping? - Parkinson's."
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"Are you sure?"
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"Yeah, Larry, I'm dead certain."
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"Okay."
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"- All right, there you go. - Hello?"
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"- Hey. - Hey, Lar,"
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"- what the hell were you thinking? - What?"
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"You give a seven-year-old kid--"
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"A boy-- a Sewing machine as a gift?"
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"- Yeah. So what? - Totally inappropriate."
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"No, not inappropriate. He loved the gift."
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"He went in that room, figured out in two minutes"
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"how to work that sewing machine."
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"And he was working on a frilly thing immediately."
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"I don't like the implication, all right?"
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"- It's not an implication. - He's seven."
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"Being gay means that you're attracted to the person of the same sex."
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"He's too young to be attracted to anybody."
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"He will be gay. He's just-- He's pre-gay."
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"I don't know that you can make that assumption."
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"I think it was an insult"
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