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Clips from Arrested Development - The One Where They Build a House (S02E02)

"What? What?"
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"Hey, why don't you volunteer Oscar? That would solve both of your problems."
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"He'd never cut his hair."
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"[Inhales] That hair."
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"Listen, Oscar's your problem. I'm taking care of everything else in this family..."
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"including starting construction on a second model home."
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"We're having a ribbon-cutting ceremony."
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"We can't have a ribbon-cutting without your father, and he's God knows where."
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"[Narrator] George Sr. Was in Mexico..."
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"with his escape accomplice and ex-secretary, Kitty."
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"I keep eating so many eggs. It must be my unconscious desire to have a baby."
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"Oh, my God. Can you even imagine how cute the combination of the two of us would be?"
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"I mean, we're all out of prophylacticos anyway."
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"Somebody used the last two on his feet to walk across the bathroom floor."
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"[Narrator] But he was growing tired of their confined intimacy."
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"- I've made a huge mistake. - Hey, it's me."
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"- Dad? - Yeah. Listen, I gotta make this quick."
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"You're the only one who can save the family, but you gotta keep the company strong..."
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"because I'm gonna need some of that money later."
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"I will, Dad. It's funny, after all these years of..."
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"- you making fun of me for the magic shows and- - Gob!"
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"Oh, for God's- I called to talk to Michael, you horse's-"
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"- [Mexican] - [Female Operator Speaking Spanish]"
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"- [Narrator] Gob was hurt. - Bye, Pop."
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"Hey, whoa, whoa, was that Dad?"
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"Yeah, I had to, uh, jump off."
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"You just had Dad on the phone? Where was he?"
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"No way to tell, really. Portugal."
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"- Down South America way. - Well, did he wanna talk to me?"
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"No, he wanted to talk to the president."
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"- I have no problem with that. - [Narrator] Michael was also hurt."
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"And George Sr. Was brutally hurt..."
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"when he was mistaken for his twin brother Oscar."
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"- [In Spanish] - Marijuana? No, no."
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"That's my brother. Brothero. Brothero."
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"[Narrator] That night, Lindsay headed to the club..."
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"to try again to meet someone."
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"Soon, having struck out again, she spotted a man who looked interesting."
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"He had the lean look, effortless hair..."
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"and dressed-down manner of a movie star."
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"- Buy me a drink? - I think the bar's closing."
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"I know a place."
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"[Narrator] It was at that point that Lindsay had a startling revelation."
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"[Man] Uh, uh, uh, you get out. Get out. Get out. Out, out, out!"
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"- No homeless in here! - Homeless? You're homeless?"
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"You're gross. Oh, God."
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"[SlowJazz]"
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"They're taking me in the army. They didn't think there was enough wrong with me."
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"- [Stops] - Well, did they check everything?"
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"Yes. They even touched my Charlie Browns. You lied to me."
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"- You said I wasn't fit to serve. - Okay, hold on."
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"Let's calm down, people."
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"Um, I think I know a little bit about avoiding combat duty."
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"Now which pinkie do you use less?"
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"Are you nuts? Do you know what I went through to have this boy?"
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"Oh, I know where the boy came from."
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"Wait. Why were you in the pantry?"
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"And Lucille realized it was time to end..."
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"whatever it was she had with Oscar."
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"So, I believe it's a good plan."
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"The next day, Michael was ready to wow the board with his new business model."
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"As I told my brother, the president..."
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"if we start construction on a second model home..."
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"we can be cutting this ribbon within two months."
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"I said, That's why you're no longer president."
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"Two weeks. Let's do it in two weeks. Hey!"
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"[Stagy]"
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"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can we stop the music?"
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"- [Stops] - I'm not as optimistic that we can get that done."
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"Gob, I think we both agree that we would do things your way..."
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"if you had a business model."
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"Do you have a business model, Gob?"
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"I am so happy that you asked me that, Michael..."
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"because I just happen to have a business model right here."
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"[Resumes] Solid as a rock"
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"Meet Starla, the new Bluth Company business model..."
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"for our phase two campaign."
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"Bluth Homes: Solid as a rock."
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"We'll see you at the ribbon-cutting in two weeks..."
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"if my brother doesn't screw it up first."
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"- Hey!"
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"[Narrator] Gob had committed Michael to building a model home in two weeks."
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"We can't build a house in two weeks. Also, I'm not sure how Solid as a Rock..."
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"helps people forget the fact that we built houses in Iraq."
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"- I love that. - But you probably know best because you're president."
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"We don't have to build a real house, Michael."
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"Like you said, it's all for appearances anyway. We throw up a couple of walls."
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"- We build a fake one. - What are you talking about?"
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"Nothing on the inside."
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"I'll never get a crew to build it. They'd lose their licenses."
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"Then you build it yourself, damn it!"
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"Hey, there she is, my little business model."
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"Sorry about that build it yourself' crap."
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"I might take her to the ribbon-cutting."
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"- You end up finding a date yet? - No."
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"[Narrator] As Michael grew frustrated by his relationship with Gob..."
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"Lucille tried to end hers with Oscar."
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"- I want you out of the house. - Oh, I want you everywhere."
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"Oscar, no. I can't have this in my life anymore. I'm a married woman."
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"Lucille, you wanna leave? I won't chase after you."
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"But before you do, ask yourself, Where's your husband?"
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"Because I am here. I am real. I am flesh and blood."
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"And hair."
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"Oh, God, that hair. [Sighs]"
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"What will people say?"
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"They'll say, Those people are in love."
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"[Hat Crunches]"
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"[Narrator] That night, the evening news report said something very different."
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"[Man] Lucille Bluth, caught on tape breathing life into a homeless man."
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"The surprising home video at 10:00."
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"[Narrator] And Michael prepared to build a house."
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"Two weeks? But what if my date's not available?"
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"I'm trying to get a last-minute crew together. Your inability to get a man interested..."
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"- is not at the top of my list. - Oh, I've got a man interested, Michael."
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"- What's wrong with him? - There's nothing wrong with him."
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"He is homeless."
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"Well, I didn't know he was homeless at the time."
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"- It was humiliating. - Is this about Gangy's homeless guy?"
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"- Gangy's homeless guy? - Yeah, it's all over the news."
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"Gangy gave C.P.R. To a homeless guy on the beach."
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