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Clips from Arrested Development - The One Where They Build a House (S02E02)

"[Narrator] Lindsay felt respect for her mother..."
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"and decided that perhaps she could overcome her pride and help someone too."
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"I've got someone for your crew, Michael. My boyfriend, the homeless guy."
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"- I wonder if he even has an apartment or- - [Phone Ringing]"
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"- Hello. - [Lucille On Phone] Did you see the news?"
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"Your Uncle Oscar forced himself on me at the beach today..."
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"- and I didn't have my horn. - Of course."
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"It was Uncle Oscar. Mom, you're not having an affair with him, are you?"
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"You're building a house? I want you to give it to him."
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"- It's not a real house. - Perfect. He's not a real man."
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"[Narrator] And George Sr. Made his case to the Mexican police."
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"My God, I was beaten up here. I'm telling you. I'm George. I'm not Oscar. I'm George."
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"- The Cornballer. - Sí. The Cornballer."
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"[Narrator] George Sr. Had marketed a device called the Cornballer in Mexico..."
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"after the severe burns it caused led to it being banned in the U.S."
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"- Why, did you have one? - SsÌ."
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"[Narrator] Lindsay, meanwhile, was having trouble finding her homeless man."
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"- He looked like a movie star. - The man looked like a movie star because he was a movie star."
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"His name was Tom Jane, and he was making two movies for a major studio."
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"One was a gritty personal project about a junkie's life..."
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"which he got to do in exchange for making..."
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"a rigidly, formulaic popcorn movie."
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"- He was living on the streets, researching his role. - Hey, homeless guy."
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"- Hey. - I'm not proud of the way..."
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"I was so grossed out when I found out you were gross before."
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"You really thought I was gross, huh?"
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"Well, at first, I thought you were kind of hot, but I hadn't looked closely enough."
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"Listen, I have a construction job for you."
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"And if you clean yourself up, who knows? You might actually get a date out of this."
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"- Okay. - See ya."
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"Okay, we've all made some sacrifices to be here, but we all want the same thing."
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"- I wanna live here. - I wanna buy Ann some diamond dust."
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"I'm just hoping to get mildly injured, so I can get out of the army."
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"Bottom line is we've got two weeks to build a house."
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"It doesn't have to be good. It just has to look good."
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"I just want my kids back."
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"[Narrator] And so, the guys went to work."
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"- [Grunting] - [Chattering]"
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"[Narrator] Things didn't go smoothly at first."
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"Buster looked for ways to hurt himself."
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"But soon the project came together- when Gob stopped by."
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"Now we're building a house."
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"- Yeah, I'm pretty proud- - So, what do you think? Did I do this or what?"
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"Seems like your brother did it."
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"My brother does what I tell him to do. I'm the president."
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"Where's your P?"
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"What? Oh, no, not again."
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"- I got it. - [Groans]"
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"Hey, sorry for the my brother does what I tell him to do crap..."
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"but I want this to be perfect for when I cut the ribbon tomorrow."
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"You're cutting the ribbon?"
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"I kinda thought that since I built it..."
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"- I might go ahead and give it a- - Yeah, okay."
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"Can you imagine how that would look to the board?"
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"The construction worker cutting the ribbon. No, no, that's a job for the president."
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"[Narrator] Michael had a problem with that."
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"- Gob had taken away something Michael always wanted. - You got the P."
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"Now it was Michael's turn to take something from Gob- Starla."
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"And later, Michael set about his plan."
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"Gob, do you have Starla's phone number?"
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"I got a few business things I'd like to go over with the business model."
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"Guess who was just over her? Don't, I'll tell you- me."
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"- Hmm? - L- [Bleeps] the business model."
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"[Narrator] Actually, theyjust made out."
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"Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms."
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"Imagine that. I finally nailed somebody that you weren't after."
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"That's it. I've worked too hard and too long for you to keep getting all the credit."
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"I built that company, that house, and I'm gonna be cutting the ribbon..."
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"whether we're all pretending that you're president or not."
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"Yeah, sure. I just wanted-"
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"- You just wanted what? - I just wanted you to be impressed with me."
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"Dad never was. Never said a nice thing about me."
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"He called you the other day. He didn't even wanna talk to me."
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"Of course he did! He never wants to talk to me. He never has."
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"- Cut the ribbon. - Really?"
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"- Yeah. How about that? - Michael."
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"I have no problem with it."
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"- All right? Take it easy. Come on. - Thank you."
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"[Narrator] The next day, the Bluth family prepared to unveil phase two."
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"- [Rock] - Have you seen your Uncle Gob around?"
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"No. And I can't find that diamond dust that Aunt Lindsay bought for me."
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"Oh, well, your Aunt Lindsay has probably taken it. She's just a taker."
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"This is your chance, huh? With the big ribbon-cutters after all these years?"
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"Well, actually, I figured, give Gob a chance, you know?"
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"The guy doesn't get a whole lot of attention in this family."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the Bluth Company, Gob Bluth."
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"My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done."
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"But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done..."
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"for an answer."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you phase two of the Bluth Company."
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"- A house truly solid as a rock. - [Music]"
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"- [House Creaking] - [Narrator] But as it turns out..."
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"Michael was right to not be optimistic it could be done."
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"[Women Screaming]"
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"[Narrator] And Buster saw the chance to get injured enough..."
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"to keep him out of the army."
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"- [Whimpers, Screams] - But instead..."
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"- got a glimpse inside. - [Buster] I can't look at that."
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"[Narrator] Unfortunately, Tobias had to."
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"I got the wrong homeless man. I am sorry. I was looking for Lindsay."
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"You lied to me. You both lied to me. I'm goin'to war."
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"- Buster, you can't! - Yes, I can."
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"I don't agree with your dirty doings here..."
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"but I will defend with my life your right to do it."
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"You planned this all along, didn't you, Michael?"
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"- No, I didn't. I had no crew. I had no time. - You set me up."
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"[Narrator] Gob charged at Michael with the scissors..."
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"but Michael, as he always did, picked rock-"
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"- You wanted to make me look foolish! - Put down the scissors."
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"- Put 'em down. - Foolish with scissors!"
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"[Narrator] Which beat scissors."
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"Unfortunately, the whole incident was covered by the paper."
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"Nobody looks good in this."
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"- Especially that little dude. - That's Ann."
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"- Who's- - It doesn't matter. Listen."
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"You know I didn't set you up, okay? I think the only reason you and I always fight..."
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"is that since we were little kids, Dad's always played us off each other."
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"Dad always said that was your fault."
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"Anyway, what we oughta do is make a decision right now..."
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"not to let Dad get in the middle of our relationship anymore."
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