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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Why're You Hitting Yourself? (S01E01)

"I see scrambled boobs."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Okay. (PRESSES BUTTON)"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Who's ready to check into General Hospital?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Um, I think I'm gonna watch Alf with Barry instead."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Alf? What about Luke and Laura?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"He said he's not interested! Now leave us be."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"What the hell is going on?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Is Barry forcing you to be here?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"No, I'm here by choice."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(WHISPERING) If you're in trouble, blink."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Whatever."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Guess I'll just watch it in my room."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"No!"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(POUNDS TV) No!"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"No! It's gone! What happened?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Calm down. We just gotta retrace our steps."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Okay. So, yeah, you go back there."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Okay, so I grabbed it..."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"And then I came in..."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I came in hard, though. Yeah."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"And then we shook it about."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"We were clicking, you were tugging with it."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(BUTTONS CLICKING, VARIOUS PROGRAMS PLAYING)"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(MUTTERING) "Uh, Erica, get down here.""
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Bang, bang. Oh! Oh, there! We got it!"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Good job, kid."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"It was the first thing Barry and I ever bonded over."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I could stay like this forever. Agreed?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(WOMEN GIGGLING) Agreed."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"For once in our lives, we were on the same channel."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"All right. Your perfect woman."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Ooh, here we go."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Tell me everything."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"All right. For start..."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I think she should be at least 5'2","
The Goldbergs (2013)
"with kind eyes, and age-appropriate but spry."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Whoa, whoa. Don't I tell you what I want here?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Of course."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(MOUTHS WORDS) You're gonna want someone with a great sense of humor."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Not someone who steals the show,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"but she should be sweet and cute..."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"And have a tush like two scoops of vanilla ice cream."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Dad! Could be chocolate."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Are you gonna take this seriously?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I'm trying to, but you're not letting me."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Fine. Tell me what you want."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"All right."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"She should be..."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Dangerous, alluring and smart."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Like, really smart. Mensa smart."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"But when it comes to making sensible decisions,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"she should be kinda dumb."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Smart but dumb?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"So dumb."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"And she should have a slender dancer's body"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"and be bendy like a Chinese acrobat."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Bendy."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"You know what would be nice?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Carly Simon's lips."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Put it down. Carly Simon lips."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I'm sorry. Are you involved in this?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"You said to give him my honest opinion."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"That's what I'm doing."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"How's about this? Long hair, like a mermaid."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Boom! Write it up."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"She should be exotic, but not too exotic."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"A Latin flavor,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"but it should be impossible to know exactly where she comes from."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Impossible!"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"And we're done."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"If this is really the type of woman you want,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"then, damn it, I'm gonna find it."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I really wanna meet this woman."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(LOWERED VOICE) Can you imagine?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(SHOUTS) Marriage is nice, too!"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"For the next five days, my mom focused"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"on her biggest matchmaking challenge yet,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"finding Pops the perfect woman."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"72 years old? Are you kidding me with this?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(LID CLATTERS)"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Well, I don't care how good her wig looks, Ruth Applebaum."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Don't you call me back until you've got a real lead."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Stop lurking."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"We're having frozen pizza for dinner."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Go pop one in the oven."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Frozen pizza?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"That's the second time this week."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Just know, six is my limit."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I'm not stopping till I find my father the perfect woman."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Bevy,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"you do realize that your dad's just giving you busy work"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"to keep you off his back, right?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I know that."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Do you think I'm really looking for a smart but dumb Chinese acrobat?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I hope so."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"My father has given me the opportunity to find him his dream woman,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"so I'm gonna find him my dream woman."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Why? He's having a blast."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Is he really happy?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Very happy! Happiest person I've ever seen."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I know what's best for my father,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"and it's more than likely one of these 16 lovely ladies."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Turns out, my mom cast a wide net."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(PHONE DIALING) How about that?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"She was studying to be a cosmonaut."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"You don't see that every day."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Barry and I spent the next three days"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"staring at the boob tube."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"And while the quality time was nice, it came with a price."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I've had this migraine that won't go away."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Seriously? Me, too."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Maybe squinting at the TV for hours at a time"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"just isn't so good for our brains."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I fell down at school today."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"I had a scrambled dream last night."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"(WOMAN GIGGLING)"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Maybe we should take a break."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"Are you insane?"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"We gotta take this to the next level, bro."
The Goldbergs (2013)
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